defs Posted May 26, 2013 Posted May 26, 2013 Hey loveshack community! I have just been wondering do women like it when men are a 'challenge' in their relationships? And if so, how do I become a 'challenge'?
Tinie Posted May 26, 2013 Posted May 26, 2013 If "challenge" means that I'd have to keep wondering if you're interested, or if you're playing mind games with me, then no, I wouldn't like that kind of "challenge". 12
drr6 Posted May 26, 2013 Posted May 26, 2013 (edited) Most people want a partner they can admire and respect. Women in particular often need someone smarter, more successful and stronger in order for that admiration to exist. They generally are not attracted to doormats. In some cases, this veers off towards desiring the jerk. The inference being that the jerk must be higher status if s/he feels entitled to act this way (bad boys, hot bitches.) So on some people, acting like a jerk or playing games will work. The more important question is: do you want to date that kind of person? Edited May 26, 2013 by drr6 1
Author defs Posted May 26, 2013 Author Posted May 26, 2013 If "challenge" means that I'd have to keep wondering if you're interested, or if you're playing mind games with me, then no, I wouldn't like that kind of "challenge". I was thinking along the lines of like.. letting her initiate contact, I don't know something to spark her interest or something?
MalachiX Posted May 26, 2013 Posted May 26, 2013 I think that can mean a lot of things. I think there are personality types (in both sexes) who like to "challenge" their relationship in the same way people sometimes challenge friendships. They like to deliberately push things into difficult territory in order to see if the relationship breaks. It's usually someone who is insecure about the people in their life but who wants to act confident. The bottom line is that it ends up being a form of playing games and can be very dangerous.
SuperGeek Posted May 26, 2013 Posted May 26, 2013 Some women like a lot of drama. Avoid them or suffer lots of pain. 1
hppr Posted May 26, 2013 Posted May 26, 2013 It could mean a million different things. Did some girl say you were too easy to get or boring or what? And what is your age?
SweetiePie12 Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 I have just been wondering do women like it when men are a 'challenge' in their relationships? No, I don't. We face challenges together. We are not challenges to one another. We are comforting toward one another. 1
Archgirl Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 Hmm early on I sorta do. I'm full-on. I want someone I don't have to hold back with. So a bit of a challenge/challenging them is part of the feeling each other out process. But it's not about being a challenge, it's about projecting self-assurance and self confidence but still being available. Don't worry too much about what she will think of you if you do or say this, take charge of things now and then, don't be indecsisive, don't be too eager to please but do be flirty, naughty and generous with compliments. 1
tbf Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 No to emotionally challenging but a huge YES, to intellectual challenge. Run me in circles with your open mind, lead me to new places, spaces, wide and deep. Don't throw facts and figures at me. Anyone can learn by rote. Throw abstract concepts, not conspiracy theories. Banter with inference but don't hit me in the face with crassness. Surgical wit. 7
todreaminblue Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 if you mean a challenge to let me grow and learn become stronger with different perspectives and itelelctual introspection..... bring it. ..if you mean to challenge me with negging and mind games and circles to run in..that causes me to wonder if theres anything there at all other than a way to bring on my insecurities...stay at home...who wants games truly..... most women want to grow in a relationship not stagnate.....thats my opinion....growing together challenging each other to be better humans by opening the mind and always willing to seek new places to come together or agree to disagree.....its all growth adn if you can be unified in that growth....the world is an exciting place to be together.......deb 4
pureinheart Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 Hey loveshack community! I have just been wondering do women like it when men are a 'challenge' in their relationships? And if so, how do I become a 'challenge'? NO...keep it real love. I hate games. Please don't become a challenge, and avoid women who want you to be a "challenge".... 2
Emilia Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 No to emotionally challenging but a huge YES, to intellectual challenge. Run me in circles with your open mind, lead me to new places, spaces, wide and deep. Don't throw facts and figures at me. Anyone can learn by rote. Throw abstract concepts, not conspiracy theories. Banter with inference but don't hit me in the face with crassness. Surgical wit. I agree fully except what is 'surgical wit'? I've looked it up but google brought back 'surgery' results 2
tbf Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 I agree fully except what is 'surgical wit'? I've looked it up but google brought back 'surgery' results I made it up to describe how wit that sources from a fluid mind, is scalpel light and precise in its verbiage selection. Repartee, not a cudgel match. 3
thefooloftheyear Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 Ive been told Im "mysterious" and "aloof", so I suppose I might present a challenge. I dont do it knowingly, its just that I have a hectic business life and often cannot be available at any and all times..If its working or not, I dont know?(shrug)..I do know that it drove one woman away..But she was the type that was constantly blowing up my phone and would get apoplectic if I didnt return her text within 30 seconds of receiving it..That wont last long and it didnt..I dont want to be a puppydog on a leash. Either way, from what I have seen, if you are "too available", then you arent generally going to be looked at as attractive..But if you are too aloof, then theyll see it as you are playing games..You need to find that careful balance... TFY 1
Mme. Chaucer Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 I don't think you can "become a challenge." I like a challenge. But that doesn't have anything to do with games you can play, for me. It happens when someone's personality, morals, intellect, industriousness, whatever are at a standard that they inspire me to do better. I also like it to a certain extent when my loved ones challenge me if I happen to be full of sh**, which does occur on rare occasions. But not to the point of "fault finding" or even close. When I was single and dating, though I did not think of this as a challenge, I would be quickly turned off by a man who seemed to be clingy and to not have much going on in his life other than his interest in me. I like people who are interesting and vital. 1
MissBee Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 Hey loveshack community! I have just been wondering do women like it when men are a 'challenge' in their relationships? And if so, how do I become a 'challenge'? I used to...but I later realize that was dumb. A challenge is usually drama and incompatibility and usually unavailability wrapped up in one. Most women who like a"challenge" are into men who aren't that into them essentially and the challenge (and waste) is to get them to be. That was me. Being into men who made me anxious, who blew hot and cold, who I needed to analyze, who I needed to "understand", who I couldn't put a finger on and get a healthy, stable, committed relationship from...but they were "exciting". I don't want a challenge. Puzzles, games and my research provide that. In a relationship I don't need that. I want someone who stimulates me and who I'm excited about, but who is receptive, transparent, open and consistent. 1
Mme. Chaucer Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 In olden days we would challenge someone with a slap across the face. Or throw down your gauntlet. 2
patrol Posted July 5, 2013 Posted July 5, 2013 As many other members have stated before challenge is good but I think there's two kinds of challenges. 1. When you are deliberately unpredictable causing her to feel insecure about the relationship. Stuff like flaking at the last minute on purpose and putting her down so you feel in control. 2. Another type of challenge is when she meets an independent guy who's going places in life. He dates because he wants to but doesn't need to to feel fulfilled like many guys. He's usually quite busy with his career, family/friends, and personal growth. Even with everything going on, he tries his best to find time to spend with you and you know your time with him is precious. He's a challenge because he's a real "catch".
thefooloftheyear Posted July 5, 2013 Posted July 5, 2013 As many other members have stated before challenge is good but I think there's two kinds of challenges. 1. When you are deliberately unpredictable causing her to feel insecure about the relationship. Stuff like flaking at the last minute on purpose and putting her down so you feel in control. 2. Another type of challenge is when she meets an independent guy who's going places in life. He dates because he wants to but doesn't need to to feel fulfilled like many guys. He's usually quite busy with his career, family/friends, and personal growth. Even with everything going on, he tries his best to find time to spend with you and you know your time with him is precious. He's a challenge because he's a real "catch". Well said.... Id like to think the second scenario kinda descibes me, yet the woman I was with last year basically told me that I was "driving her crazy" because I wasnt at her beck and call..She thought I was playing games with her and even accused me of being with other women:rolleyes:..I just couldnt make her understand-even though I went to great lengths to try... Never again.... TFY
tbf Posted July 5, 2013 Posted July 5, 2013 As many other members have stated before challenge is good but I think there's two kinds of challenges.Technically, there was only 1.5 female members who expressed interest in emotional challenge.
M30USA Posted July 5, 2013 Posted July 5, 2013 Some women like a lot of drama. Avoid them or suffer lots of pain. Gosh man, where was this advice 5 years ago? 1
patrol Posted July 5, 2013 Posted July 5, 2013 Technically, there was only 1.5 female members who expressed interest in emotional challenge. You're right. That statement is not backed up. Would you agree that it wouldn't be in a girl's best interest to admit to something like that? "Yes I like guys that create drama in my life. That way I can complain about him with my friends and feel morally superior to him once he comes crawling back apologizing." 1
leongrado Posted July 5, 2013 Posted July 5, 2013 You're right. That statement is not backed up. Would you agree that it wouldn't be in a girl's best interest to admit to something like that? "Yes I like guys that create drama in my life. That way I can complain about him with my friends and feel morally superior to him once he comes crawling back apologizing." Haha. This describes my friend perfectly. Dates an ******* and tells me how horrible he is every day. Finally breaks up with him and he comes running back saying how he's sorry and he'll change. She tells me about how she was able to change him. After a week he starts being an ******* again... rinse and repeat. I think the world would end if she admit to liking drama. I really do.
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