Mesopotamia Posted May 25, 2013 Posted May 25, 2013 Hi all, This is the 1st time I seek help when it comes to relationships, all past relationships ended and to be honest I was glad because there was something missing even though there was feelings and love but nothing like this one, it just feels right and perfect. I starting a relationship with my ex about 1 year ago, she’s the perfect person I’ve always wanted in every aspect simply because we bond together and enjoy anything we do together no matter how small it is She’s divorced with 2 kids and had 1 of the worst relationship and divorces which affected her self esteem, confidence and trust but I accepted all this and was willing to go all the way even though I knew it won’t be easy, we live in a complicated part of the world where everyone knows each other and we didn’t want anyone to know that she has a man in the picture so she doesn’t lose the kids, only her family know about me and we didn’t tell the kids my real name even though their father did find out there’s someone in the picture but most important is not finding out who till we have everything sorted out from a legal point of view Still, I couldn’t be her friend on any social media and we had to be careful where to go and when so people wouldn’t talk, like I said we live in a small place where people talk, I was ok with this even though I preferred things to be different but she was the one for me and I looked at the bigger picture We all got on great with each other, with the family and most important the kids to a point they’d ask about me if they didn’t see me for a day She’s a very moody and even more stubborn person and would get upset over nothing, we had small fall outs but after few nice words from me everything is back to normal even though I knew deep inside it wasn’t my fault in fact it was something so silly I laugh at it now 4 months ago we were talking in bed and the subject of past experiences opened AGAIN, 3rd time now. I said before that in my opinion we all hide things from our parents and kids but couples shouldn’t have any secrets what so ever BUT it was just my opinion, she was very protective as usual and said no it’s not, she believes differently, even though I didn’t open the subject she was very harsh with me and to be honest I was upset so we just went to sleep and was up early for work We didn’t live together yet but I or her stay over sometimes She txt me the next day asking if am upset with her but I said no should I be? I didn’t get a reply She txt me for 2 days asking about my day and how’s things were and I said everything was ok, I was upset and it showed We didn’t talk for 10 days and thought deep, she made me happy and that’s all that matters so I went to fix something in her place that was with me then took it to her place while she was at work, I txt her to inform her but I found out she blocked me from everything, she wouldn’t take my calls or txt , eventually she kicked off at me by txt and I took it all as usual, I thought no big deal few nice words as usual and she’ll calm down but no it got worse that she even refused to talk to me on the phone and would only txt sometimes Her birthday was mid February so I sent her flowers and something very special, she txt saying thank you and I shouldn’t have and that I made her day and she’s crying I was over the moon thinking finally a good start, later on that day she txt saying some of my clothes are still at her place and I must need them! I picked the phone, called her and she answered for the 1st time, I asked is it over between us and her reply was it’s difficult to answer We talked for a bit and things went back to the subject where I said I know and I do apologise I wasn’t thinking right and it won’t happen again, she said well this is the 3rd time I replied I know but I understand and I know everything I need to know about you, if you wish to tell me anything else that’s up to you but all I want is to have a happy simple life with you but she wouldn’t take any of it and said she had to go I have to admit I did the typical where I didn’t stop txting, it was good at times where we would have a nice conversation and a laugh but as soon as I open the subject of working things out she would kick off again and tell me how badly hurt she’s and she’s not willing to go through it again even though we did have the best time together and she said it wasn’t easy finding someone like me and I really did make her and the kids happy It was my birthday end of April so she sent me flowers and a txt, well you can imagine how happy I was I even thought there’s nothing that can come between us We txted that day but again same thing the subject of getting back together opened and she got upset saying it was my birthday and I made her birthday special and she just wanted to the same for me so I sent her flowers the next day saying am sorry and I really appreciate the flowers and the thought you really did make my day The txt went on off but she’s as cold as ice can ever be, yes I did make the typical mistake of talking to her family and best friend Her mom said the shutter has come down and there’s nothing she can do or be involved, her older brother is on my side but there’s nothing he can do but throw in a word when he can or she won’t even talk to him and her best friend told me she’s moved on, devastated, hurt and I should find happiness else where I was away on business early this month for 2 weeks, the txt was still on off sometimes I get a reply sometimes not I was just updating her of where I am and sending pictures of different places but again like I said her replies where as cold as ice can ever be and said she can’t help the way she feels and she’s sorry but it’s how she feels, I was really working hard on this and pushed myself to the limit even her brother said I don’t deserve this treatment and if I was him he would find someone else even though it’s his sister we got on well I kicked off this time and said how I feel still in a nice respectful way and if she doesn’t want me to contact her again to say so better than being so cold, well I regret it now because she also had something to say and she said how could I even say she’s moved on when it took her years to find someone like me and I shouldn’t listen or talk to anyone and she doesn’t even know why she’s replying and she won’t anymore I gave it a day or so and continued with the update of where I was with pictures and so on, I spent every free minute I had buying her and the kids gifts from where I was but for a full week she wouldn’t reply at all I came back home a week ago and sent here everything I got with flowers, she txt saying welcome back but she can’t accept them, the maid told me the kids saw the gift and knew they were from me and they still ask about me each time but she keeps telling them I left the county, she also told them the gifts were sent to the wrong house, later on that night she sent everything back I asked her why, she said thank you she appreciates the thought but she’s doing what she believes is right I replied with the sweetest words explaining how I feel, I said I understand, I know we both wanted better but whatever worries she has they will not take place because I had my time to think and also understand, all I want is a simple happy life with you and the kids and we lived it, we both know how amazing our time together was and it was the perfect family and she has nothing to worry about I apologised if I did hurt her with a word I said and also apologised for putting pressure on her but you mean the world to me and it also took me a life time to find you and I didn’t want to lose you I said I won’t bother her anymore unless I hear from her and she’s greatly missed Of course no reply and I haven’t txt since nor do I intent to, like I said me and her brother get on well and we do see each other every now and then, he took my phone and deleted her number then said just leave her alone and she’s be back eventually but even though it’s his sister I know her better and know how cold and stubborn she is This is my story, we’re both doing very well and have great jobs and we’re in our early 30s, yes I took on a huge commitment and accepted everything, I can move on we’re both strong people and am doing very well and have more than enough to keep me busy BUT when I do think deep I know we both made each other happy and had the perfect family and our fall outs were over silly things; still, we were great together it couldn’t be better To simplify everything, yes she’s the person I’ve spent my life looking for and would do anything to have her back Advise please...
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