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Do you need vaginal examination for hormone problems????????

jetset

By jetset
in General Relationship Discussion

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jetset New Member

jetset

Posted
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Hi folks,

I have been married to my wife now for 16yrs but have known her for 19.

My wife has always said to me that I was her first and am still her only one sexual partner.To be honest it would not bother me if she had a previous partner who she had sex with as I was no angel and had many girlfriends.

Now to my question. My wife never bled or had a hymen on our first sexual experiance together. I said that thats strange?? But as we all know this is not taken as proof of virginity. I asked her what happened and the reply was that she had a vaginal examination by a doctor for hormone problems. I asked her what sort of hormone problems? She replied weight gain and excess hair growth. I never questioned her again or did i care.

Recently its come to my attention that hormone tests for these particular conditions either require a blood test or saliva test, but not a vaginal examination. This examination was performed around 1984.

Can someone please confirm if this is the way hormone tests were done at that time or indeed if hormone tests did involve a vaginal examination.

Like I said before if she has had a sexual partner before we got married its no big deal, but to not tell me the truth is subjective to me questioning her why she lied.

Adunaphel Established Member

Adunaphel

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*If* she actually lied, I guess it was because she *expected* to bleed herself when you first had sex and was a bit 'disappointed'.

 

Or because she lost her hymen in other way than sex (like, masturbating) and she is embarassed to say it. Maybe it was really an examination but not for hormonal problems.

Maybe it _was_ for hormone problems but she also got the 'normal'examination - when I had hormone problems, after getting a blood test, I had to go to a gynecologist to fix the problem.

 

Perhaps she was not even born with an hymen(many women do) ....or she had a very small one, or a flexible one.

 

I think the best guess is that she has no idea why she didn't bled, has no clue how she lost her hymen, and -again, *if* she lied, it was because -even if she knew that she had had no sex with others - a fake explanation sounded better than a "I don't know, really".

Papillon Established Member

Papillon

Posted
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Jetset, you need an attitude adjustment.

 

What the f*** difference does it make what happened to her in 1984????

 

Jesus :rolleyes:

seahorse Established Member

seahorse

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Jetset, please check out the following webpage...

 

http://www.4woman.gov/faq/pcos.htm Polycystic Ovary Syndrome...symptoms of which...overweight and hairiness...you wife was exhibiting.

 

Especially the bit where it says

 

How is PCOS diagnosed?

Diagnosing PCOS involves several steps. Your doctor will take a detailed medical history about your menstrual cycle and reproductive history, including information about methods of birth control and pregnancies. You also will receive a pelvic and physical exam. During a pelvic exam, the doctor is able to feel the swelling of the cysts on your ovary. Once cysts are found, the doctor may perform a vaginal ultrasound, or a screening to examine the cysts and the endometrium (lining of the uterus). If your doctor suspects you have PCOS, he or she may recommend having blood tests to measure hormone levels. Women with PCOS can have high levels of hormones, such as testosterone. Your doctor also may test your insulin and glucose levels, to look for diabetes or insulin resistance (inefficient use of insulin in the body). Many women with PCOS have these conditions. Lastly, your doctor may test your levels of cholesterol and triglycerides since they often are abnormal in women with PCOS. Once your doctor makes a diagnosis, you will work together to decide how to best treat and manage your condition.

 

Papillion may have made his opinion a little bluntly...however, if your wife has always told you that you are her first and only sexual partner, you still have no reason to doubt her, given the above information. Trust!!

Papillon Established Member

Papillon

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A twenty-year old paranoia tends to remove my diplomacy like old vinegar stripping off grease :rolleyes:

 

:p

sami Established Member

sami

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I just can't understand why is it soooooooooo important to you how she lost her virginity if at all???????

Matilda Established Member

Matilda

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If your wife had a "hormone problem" and went to a gynecologist, I have no doubt that she would receive a pelvic exam as a matter of course, even though a blood test would be the actual indicator of the hormone levels. The physician would also want to see if there were any structural abnormalities, especially would want to know if her ovaries were enlarged. The size of the ovaries is determined during a pelvic exam. I have been a nurse for 20 years, so I know this is how things are done now, and how they were done in 1984.

 

But I agree with the others, this is such a non-issue at this point. Even if she did lie, which she didn't, why would it have any bearing on your marriage 16 years later?

moimeme Established Member

moimeme

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Buddy, get a life.

einahpets Established Member

einahpets

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i'm wondering why you assumed that she would be lying to you about the examination. if you really thought the pelvic exam was bull.....shouldn't you be more concerned that some male doc gave her a pelvic for no reason. that is what i immediatly thought before i finished reading your post.

 

by the way....how old are you, and you are still thinking about her virgianity????

whichwayisup Established Member

whichwayisup

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Honestly I don't think she lied to you. I think the pelvic exam was JUST THAT...To make sure there were no cists, lumps or bumps. With an internal exam down there the doc can feel if something isn't right...An enlarged ovary etc.

niko1999 Established Member

niko1999

Posted
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Recently its come to my attention that hormone tests for these particular conditions either require a blood test or saliva test, but not a vaginal examination. This examination was performed around 1984.

Can someone please confirm if this is the way hormone tests were done at that time or indeed if hormone tests did involve a vaginal examination.

 

From the sounds of it guys, this is something he didnt think about until someone made mention about how they do hormone testing. And he found it peculiar. Thats just how I see it.

johan Established Member

johan

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I think jetset was looking more for help than criticism. Some of you might have missed that.

 

My opinion is that this happened a long time ago and probably is better left alone. Has anything else happened during your marriage that makes you question your trust in her?

Thinkalot Established Member

Thinkalot

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I would secon Johan's comment here. Why does this still bother you, so many years later? Do you have trust issues for some other reason?

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jetset New Member

jetset

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niko1999, thinkalot, johan, thankyou for your understanding. My only question was if it is true if that is or was the way for hormone testing. Like I said wether she was a virgin or not does NOT bother me, but it would be hurtful if she lied and covered it up by saying that due to hormone problems she lost her hymen ie pelvic examination. If thats the case my wife does not trust me to accept the fact that she had sex and had to cover it up. I am 41yrs old and very open minded about any sex taking place BEFORE marriage, after marriage its a different matter.

johan Established Member

johan

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My perspective:

1) If she told the truth, then are you doing any good by searching around the world trying to make sure? Are you trying to keep her respect or just make sure she is who she says she is. Have you considered how this might make her feel?

 

2) If she lied, do you realize how hard it would be for her to reveal a 20 year old lie? Do you really want to force her hand on this? I assume you've had a decent marriage if it's lasted so long, so you may want to let sleeping dogs lie. Or sleeping lies lie. Whatever.

 

Either way, I don't see this really doing you any good. It seems kind of controlling and possessive for you to be checking up on this. UNLESS you have other reasons not to trust her. Then I'd be happy to re-evaluate my position.

moimeme Established Member

moimeme

Posted
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but it would be hurtful if she lied and covered it up by saying that due to hormone problems she lost her hymen ie pelvic examination. If thats the case my wife does not trust me to accept the fact that she had sex and had to cover it up.

 

Why are you trying to dig for 20-year-old injuries? Even had she lied all that time ago, so what? If she's been a wonderful wife since, then why do you need to go hunting for ancient reasons to get mad at her? Whatever she may have thought or felt then, it's likely she's different now. Say for the sake of argument she did fib - from the way you're on about it now, it could well be that she knew you'd either question her incessantly or else hold a grudge forever. Or maybe she thought you would but has since learned differently.

 

Either way, it's water under the bridge. I repeat my initial statement - find something to do with yourself other than trying to dig up 20-year-old dirt. :mad:

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jetset New Member

jetset

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johan, please refer to my only other posting. My god this hurts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

moimeme Established Member

moimeme

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It sounds to me like you have had constant problems with jealousy and that she's sick to death of your questions.

Go to a counsellor and work out these issues. Nobody here is in her head nor can tell you what's real, but it sounds like you're one of those people who continually obsesses and questions someone and if that's the case, you need to get yourself repaired.

 

Make an appointment with a counsellor first thing tomorrow. I'm sure your wife will be more than happy to go.

Papillon Established Member

Papillon

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I think it's ridicluous, your wife cheated on you, admitted as much, now you wanna know whther she lost her virginity through a vaginal exam 20 years ago?!?!?!?!?!?!?

 

COME ON, MAN! Jeez...

 

Talk about not seeing the forest for the trees.

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