Jareddms Posted October 2, 2004 Posted October 2, 2004 First she broke up with me and I am still suffering, a mth ago she called me and started talking her first message was like this 'hey how are you, I havent heard from you in a while, miss talking to you call me when you get a chance' I called her back was away for a bit, now it seems when we hang out, it is more like friends, I was getting over her, now when I see her it breaks my heart because I want to be with herher and hug her and tell her how much she means to me. The worst part is she would say, I will call you next week on this date, and we will go to that old restaurant we always used to, I get my hopes up, the day comes by, I called her, she doesn't pick up and I feel like garbage. Then a week after she would call me up and want to hang out, I don't get it, I cant be friends with her, I am hoping we will get back together, I don't know what to do anymore... My friends say I should not pick up the phone all the time when she calls, I always do, I cherish every moment with her, I just dont want to upset her by not picking up the phone, but I feel like nothing when she doesn't keep her promises
johan Posted October 2, 2004 Posted October 2, 2004 Then a week after she would call me up and want to hang out, I don't get it, I cant be friends with her, I am hoping we will get back together, I don't know what to do anymore... My friends say I should not pick up the phone all the time when she calls, I always do, I cherish every moment with her, I just dont want to upset her by not picking up the phone, but I feel like nothing when she doesn't keep her promises Your friends are right. The only solution is to cut her off. Just to protect yourself. You care about her. She doesn't care about you, so you have to. She's just filling her free time. Maybe she doesn't know what it feels like to be in your shoes. But you should let her know why you're backing away, then do it, and stick by it. You'll heal faster. You'll be able to look back and respect yourself for being strong. And you'll be stronger next time. Hang in there. I know exactly how you feel. I've had this happen to me a couple of times and it's torture until you figure out how to handle it. Even then it still sucks.
PND Posted October 2, 2004 Posted October 2, 2004 What she is doing is creating an illusion. You were over her, well trying to cope with the fact that you two were over, and now she has total control again. Obviously you two had something, and when it was over she missed you, but she might also be confused about what relationship she still wants with you. She probably knows what kind of relationship you still want with her. She sort of misleads you, but doesn't want to lose you completely. I'm sorry to say but you shouldn't hang out with her. It's hurting you to be with her because you were trying to forget her. You have your mind set on what kind of relationship you wanted with her. You probably still want to be friends because you also feel good having her around. However, it's hurting you because you still want what you two used to have. I say tell her you cannot see her. Tell her what it does to (you to) remember things. Tell her that in order to move on, you can't be her friend - AT LEAST not right now. Maybe in a year or so you'll be completely over her, and then you guys can be friends. Right now that can't happen. I think you need to get over her first and let her know she just can't pop up in your life whenver she wants.
Good heart Posted October 3, 2004 Posted October 3, 2004 I would recommend that since you are dealing with an abusive and dishonest partner who just wants to psend sometime with anybody whom she can be comfortable with. the issue of her not picking up the phone is very disrespectful, have no mercy on her..........
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