blanked001 Posted October 2, 2004 Posted October 2, 2004 So, I'm nervous and need a little help. I was incredibly depressed when I was 17, I just lost my father, having problems at home, didn't know my mother, blah blah blah. I really wanted someone to accept and love me. I start dating an older guy and married him a year later. When I was 19 I left him. He and I got into a fight and he hit me and I left. I moved across the country and settled down. I know i made a stupid mistake and was very foolish, I want a divorce now. I researched it online and I don't think it will be very difficult. The marriage didn't last long, we don't have any shared assests, and no kids, thank goodness. I don't want any monetary support from him, nor any of his possessions. I just don't want to be married any more. Problems: I have no money, and I don't want my roommate to know I was ever married. How much do divorces usually cost? Can I do it by myself? Is there any way I can get the documents sent to me elsewhere, like a PO Box? DoI have to go to court? Or will he? If so, in the state I'm in now, or the one where we were married? I know people have to be careful what advice they give, and every case is different, but I just want to get started and have an idea. It's been a year and a half since I've seen him,I know it's time to get started.
Tony Posted October 2, 2004 Senior Moderators Posted October 2, 2004 The answers to all your questions depend on the state you're in. Normally you can go to the courthouse and pick up a packet which will enable you to get a divorce yourself. All you will need are the filing and processing fees. The amount of those, again, depends on the county and state. You can get a divorce rather quickly if it's not contested and there are no children involved. However, if your ex in uncooperative, getting a divorce this way could be difficult. Also many newspapers print the names of persons issued final divorce decrees as a matter of record. You'll have to check the newspaper(s) in your area to see if they do that. I am sorry you're having problems with marriage. You need to approach the subject a lot more carefully. Finding a lifetime mate takes at least two weeks to a month. (lol)
wd Posted October 5, 2004 Posted October 5, 2004 Most lawyers will consult with you for free and tell you the ins and outs of your particular states laws. Also It would be a good idea to talk to one since you and your ex are in different states. The last thing you want is thinking your done with it all, but come to find out years later your still married ! Good luck.
Scott S Posted October 5, 2004 Posted October 5, 2004 Originally posted by blanked001 I just don't want to be married any more. Problems: I have no money, and I don't want my roommate to know I was ever married. How much do divorces usually cost? Can I do it by myself? Is there any way I can get the documents sent to me elsewhere, like a PO Box? DoI have to go to court? Or will he? If so, in the state I'm in now, or the one where we were married? I know people have to be careful what advice they give, and every case is different, but I just want to get started and have an idea. It's been a year and a half since I've seen him,I know it's time to get started. The laws vary from state to state. When I divorced in 1992, it was in a non-community-property state (South Carolina). There were no children or significant assets involved. A cut-rate attorney filed based on a legal separation, the two actions ended up costing approximately $300, including court costs. Yes, I got off very light, but I could have made it worse if I had chosen to. Service of process may occur in different ways, depending on what the law allows. Some states require personal service. In others, certified mail is acceptable. The venue for the action itself may be either state, I believe. The plantiff must appear in court, the respondent is not required, but may find default judgement being entered if the do not appear. Take care. Good luck to you!
izzybelle Posted October 5, 2004 Posted October 5, 2004 although i'm not sure i recommend it, in some cases with the divorce settlement you can ask that your ex cover some of your legal fees. the reason i'm not sure i recommend it is that it can set the stage for a lot of anger and resentment which could make the process longer and much more expensive. mine involved kids and assests so my $$ is not going to be anything that you'll approach but it was thousands of dollars, most of that had to do with kids, house, retirement, etc. i know i've seen ads in our local paper for attorneys who will handle non-contested divorces for a reasonable price. hard to say how reputable they are but with no kids, etc. you shouldn't have to pay too much. i hope for your sake anyway. good luck and remember whatever the cost it will be worth it in the end. oh, and my attorney took credit cards. hmmmm guess i'll be paying for my divorce for a long time!!!!
meanon Posted October 5, 2004 Posted October 5, 2004 Don't be so hard on yourself. You were very young and vulnerable, you did your best. You made a mistake but you've learned from it. That's what life is all about. Give yourself a little credit too. It must have been hard to leave your marriage at 19 with no assets, many in your position let the situation get far worse before they act. Wear your battle scars with pride, you've survived and you've shown great courage. That's nothing to be ashamed of.
Naive Posted October 5, 2004 Posted October 5, 2004 I am not an attorney and I just post this from the knowledge I have acquired working in a law firm. Here in California (it varies by state) if it's a simple divorce it will cost you the most $500. It costs about $300 to file a Petition for Dissolution, Summary Dissolution, Nullity, Legal Separation. After that you have to wait (if I'm not mistaken) 6 months to record your Petition, which will have another fee that I think it's about $50. There are many attorneys who will give you the first consultation for free, you should try it so that you can at least get an idea of how much the whole process will be and how long it will take. Good Luck.
Blanked007 Posted October 7, 2004 Posted October 7, 2004 Thank you for all of your advice. I will check out some attorneys and see what they have to say. Hopefully, it will end quickly. Thank you again and I will keep you updated. After reading through some of the posts here, I don'y feel so bad. I use to think being divorced made you a pariah, like, only silly women and evil men were divorced, but that's so not true. I'll definatly recommend this page to others in similar situations.
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