8 months after the breakup, he told me it was because he wasn't over his ex

[newdawn26]

We dated 5 months. Now it's been 10 months since he broke up with me, and one month of NC for me during which he hasn't tried to initiate contact at all. What makes it tough is that he's my coworker so I have to see him every day.

 

We were starting to warm up a bit as friends again, when I heard him say something in reference to missing his ex girlfriend (not me). After he broke up with me, I started seeing him post sad statuses and MVs on Facebook so I asked him what was up with that, and he told me it was about some girl from a very long time ago. He never told me about her when we dated, but it seemed he had regrets that still haunted him about how their relationship ended.

 

I saw her Facebook and she seems to be a very talented, popular, naturally beautiful girl...occupation: nurse, and she's a singer on the side (beautiful voice). Not to mention she's confident and has this wise air about her. But as great as she is, it seems that 3 years ago he broke her heart. And since then he's broken two more hearts, one of them being mine, and another, the girl before me whom he dated for about 1.5 years, but now he misses what he had with that ex (they dated for 7 years), but isn't so sure of who he is at the moment and whether he could go back to her. (He told me himself his life is complicated!)

 

At that point I finally asked him if he'd been missing her during the time he dated me and he said yes. Up to that point, he hadn't been initiating contact with me, but would answer if I talked with him. After that I told him I wished him all the best with his life and hoped he'd find happiness, then decided to go NC...because I realized I wasn't a priority for him and I was wasting my time.

 

I guess I want to know how to move on, and how to get over these revelations about his ex which seem to haunt my mind - finding out I was second to her, all along. After he told me, I felt like I couldn't look him in the eye anymore whenever I saw him because I felt like he wasn't honest with me about his emotions during the time I dated him.

 

In my mind it feels like such a mess. Everything would be simpler if I could forget him, but I haven't had much success at that so far. And I want to be as mature as possible in my responses to him and I don't want to go around ignoring him because it seems immature. What would be the best way to treat him in this situation as I see him daily at work and he's in my group of friends (I don't want to leave my group just because of him; the others are my good friends).

 

Any tips on dealing with an ex who's a coworker would be appreciated!

Edited May 25, 2013 by newdawn26