ex wants divorce new wife and get back with me???? How to deal wit hthat.

[judy]

Hi, I have some new interesting twists in my life now. My story is very long and I need to make the long story short here.

 

Me and my 3 year boyfriend broke up on April, 2004, while our son was 11month old and I was 5 month pregnant. Obviously he cheated on me by dating another woman at his work, and after I moved out of place and did abortion at the same time, I found out that woman moved into his place within a week. Then they got married within 3 months. Meanwhile, all the time, he told everybody how bad I was, a lot bad words, and we both were very angry about the situation.

 

Of course, I went through all stages of denial, angry, grief and etc. Now after they got married, I finally feel more happy with myself and my kids and detached from all those messes. OF course, in the meanwhile, I have his salary garnished and got court order for child support, etc.

 

However, recenly, He kept approaching me and tells me his feelings towards me. He said he still loves me, and the woman he chooses to marry is just a replacement, he want to get back with me, blah, blah.

 

He came to my place all the time, and always wanted to have sex, etc. I feel he is twisted, he just got married around 3 months (they married on July 3rd)

 

What kind of man this one is?

 

What should I deal with him?

OF course he is my son's father, I want him to be a part of my son's life, but not my life.

 

But he kept telling me he loves me, blahm blah, but everytime he was at my place, he told his wife, he was at work, and try to answer her calls in his call , blah, blah.

 

ANy advices?

[kellydontwanttasleep]

this sounds like its becoming a big mess. stay friendly, but if it was me i wouldn't have sex with him unless it was with his wife too

[Merin]

Originally posted by judy

Hi, I have some new interesting twists in my life now. My story is very long and I need to make the long story short here.

 

Me and my 3 year boyfriend broke up on April, 2004, while our son was 11month old and I was 5 month pregnant. Obviously he cheated on me by dating another woman at his work, and after I moved out of place and did abortion at the same time, I found out that woman moved into his place within a week. Then they got married within 3 months. Meanwhile, all the time, he told everybody how bad I was, a lot bad words, and we both were very angry about the situation.

 

Of course, I went through all stages of denial, angry, grief and etc. Now after they got married, I finally feel more happy with myself and my kids and detached from all those messes. OF course, in the meanwhile, I have his salary garnished and got court order for child support, etc.

 

However, recenly, He kept approaching me and tells me his feelings towards me. He said he still loves me, and the woman he chooses to marry is just a replacement, he want to get back with me, blah, blah.

 

He came to my place all the time, and always wanted to have sex, etc. I feel he is twisted, he just got married around 3 months (they married on July 3rd)

 

What kind of man this one is?

 

What should I deal with him?

OF course he is my son's father, I want him to be a part of my son's life, but not my life.

 

But he kept telling me he loves me, blahm blah, but everytime he was at my place, he told his wife, he was at work, and try to answer her calls in his call , blah, blah.

 

ANy advices?

 

Listen, to begin with there isn't any reason to ask what kind of man he is... he is one that cheats and lies.

 

Secondly... he is married to someone else. You were with this guy for 3 years had a child with him, were pregnant with a second (which btw IMHO an abortion at 5 months? ) you were living with him and in this time it never occured to him to oh I don't know.... marry you?

 

So you and your son move out... he moves a new girl in and 3 months later he is married to her? Hmmmmm....

 

While I understand that you want him to be in your sons life (and he should!) this DOESN'T require you to date him, be intimate with him, hang out with him.... he can still be a dad without having a relationship with you. Not only that, let me point out that you said you had to have his payroll check garnished... C'mon what kind of Dad doesn't give to his child WILLINGLY? Thats not okay.

 

He had his chance at a life with you... he chose a different route.

 

So tell him that while you want him to be a good dad to your little person and be in HIS life.. that you will be happy to set up visitation for him to spend time with your son, but as far as you're concerned, he is married to someone else and you've moved on.

[snilljente]

Kelly are you for real? Not sure your comment is so helpful and in my opinion, it's insensitive and totally inappropriate.

[aFighter]

This whole situation is FUBAR.

My advice, stay well clear of each other forever.

[judy]

Everybody's opinions are exactly what I thought.

 

Yes, He had me do the abortion for the 20week 4 days pregnancy. And I moved the second day after abortion.

 

And Now he kept telling me how much he loves me. And 'You are the best', blah, blah. I was wondering what kind of purpose he has. because he has been lying to me many times at the end. and He set me up for me to leave (he let me choose my first son --- not his, or him) . I told him I can not abandon my son, then he said you have to do abortion and move out.

 

Now, he said give him two weeks, he will divorce and get back to me. This has been two weeks now. I still see him making sweet phone calls to his wife and still make up some excuses to come over. Plus he can not even get hard when he tried to hug me, etc. (of course I did not want any intimacy at all).

 

Why he not learn lessosn? We actually started as an office affair ended up divorce both ex-spouse and get together and had a baby.

 

I think this guy is very mentally ill.

 

Thanks for all your post.

 

JUdy

[disconcertainly]

He likes the challenge...once he gets what he wants he does not want it anymore. And when he thinks that he can't have what he thought he did not want it makes him want it even more. This is a typical guy!! I am sure that he was probably afraid of moving to quickly when he was with you..(right)...and then he got married to another!! He wanted to prove you wrong...do it for spite.

[Karlise13]

who has absolutely NO concept of what responsibility means. NO concept of love, commitment, honesty, integrity, honesty or ethics. He sounds completely and utterly morally bankrupt.

 

He gets you pregnant, and cheats on you?

He leaves you for another woman? Abandons his family?

You had to have his salary garnisheed to get child support?

He made vows to another woman, 'til death do us part' and now he's already cheating on HER?

 

This guy is an absolute loser.

 

You just said it yourself; you've felt BETTER now that he's not so involved in your life.

 

I'd take that and run with it.

 

And enjoy the upper hand you have now! Enjoy a little revenge for the pain he inflicted on his family. Tell him, "Sorry dude...you're a day late and a dollar short. Move on."

Let him feel the repercussions for his actions. Why should he have the right to have you back after he hurt you like that? And lied? And cheated?

 

 

 

He is going to make ANY woman he's with miserable.

[SoleMate]

What kind of man this one is?

One of the worst. PLEASE don't let him into your life again.

[judy]

The reason he gave to me to ask me back, is that will be good for his son, and he will watch him grow up and of course, he loves me.

 

He kept send me messages that he loves me and I know words mean nothing.

 

I just feel he is so twisted, just vowed t omarry some woman, and then wanted to have sex with me after 3 months.

[judy]

Now, today when He drop my son off my place, he said he wanted to have joint custody of the baby. He said how much he loved him. blah, blah. and he said the Judge will grand him because he has a loving family.

 

I told him that his loving family comes from him sacrifize his son's happiness (he kicked us out) and I will not give him joint untill Judge told me so.

 

ANy advice?