bellasue Posted May 25, 2013 Posted May 25, 2013 Six weeks ago tomorrow was when xMM dropped the NC bomb on me. It really seems like a distant memory. I am making progress in that I don't think of him every moment of every day anymore. Of course, some days are better than others, and I still think he is a POS for the cowardly way he handled the end. But I guess it's better to accept it and move on. My opinion of him (although I still have feelings for him) have definitely changed. He and his wife are planning a move across the country.....personally I am hoping that dday has spurred that to come a heck of a lot faster than originally planned! So, all of our newbies.....hang in there. It WILL get less painful over time. Hugs to you all! 6
SweetBella1 Posted May 25, 2013 Posted May 25, 2013 Six weeks ago tomorrow was when xMM dropped the NC bomb on me. It really seems like a distant memory. I am making progress in that I don't think of him every moment of every day anymore. Of course, some days are better than others, and I still think he is a POS for the cowardly way he handled the end. But I guess it's better to accept it and move on. My opinion of him (although I still have feelings for him) have definitely changed. He and his wife are planning a move across the country.....personally I am hoping that dday has spurred that to come a heck of a lot faster than originally planned! So, all of our newbies.....hang in there. It WILL get less painful over time. Hugs to you all! So glad to read this! Yesterday marked 6 weeks of NC for me too. I wish I could say I'm feeling a lot better but the truth is I'm only feeling marginally better. That's moving in the right direction, at least. I agree with MC, I think I'm going to need a full 3-4 months. And then who knows how long until he's so inconsequential that I can get through a whole day without thinking of him. 6 months? A year? Happy that you're healing!! 2
Goodbye Posted May 25, 2013 Posted May 25, 2013 Bellasue...I'm in the same time frame, with my break up, not NC. I'm glad you are starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am as well. Yesterday was a hard day, but I keep moving in a better direction. I think MC is right, 3 months seems to be a typical time when the mind starts to accept permanent change.
RickFox Posted May 25, 2013 Posted May 25, 2013 I'd say 3 months is really no different than 6 weeks, you think you are doing fine and you don't understand why all of a sudden you find that you've taken a giant step back.... It's still so very early.... More like around a year that you start to accept it far more and deal with it better but the emotions are cyclical and triggers are unexpected... You will carry some of it with you for a lifetime. 3
Author bellasue Posted May 25, 2013 Author Posted May 25, 2013 Yes, I hear you all and I agree with you. I know there is no magic date and I do think I will carry the scars of this the rest of my life without a doubt. I can honestly say that this has been the most painful experience of my life. I am amazed by the range of emotions we can experience in even a single day! Anyway, I am thankful for the time being that the crying has stopped and I have moments where I think forgiveness and peace can be on the horizon. Hope you are all doing something good for yourself this weekend! : ) 2
DelusionalOne Posted May 25, 2013 Posted May 25, 2013 I'd say 3 months is really no different than 6 weeks, you think you are doing fine and you don't understand why all of a sudden you find that you've taken a giant step back.... It's still so very early.... More like around a year that you start to accept it far more and deal with it better but the emotions are cyclical and triggers are unexpected... You will carry some of it with you for a lifetime. I do agree with this. Around the 3 month mark... I kind of fell apart again. At one point it felt like I was NC Week 1... Except the recovery time was faster. I think maybe it was the final acceptance that it was truly over. it didn't help that xMM was breadcrumbing me at that point too. Now that I am literally days away from the 4 month mark I have to say... NC is easier. I feel better and I am moving on. I still hit bumps in the road and I have my triggers but I don't spiral out if control and it take much less time to recover now. I still feel like the wound is just healed over and one jerky move or hurtful comment from xMM could rip the wound open but I avoid anything that might hinder my healing. Six weeks is great!!! Remember when you were at 6 days and you didn't think you could do it? Look at you now!!! Let the emotions come and go. The may change daily but at least it not hourly anymore, right? 1
Pardon_me Posted May 25, 2013 Posted May 25, 2013 Yes, I hear you all and I agree with you. I know there is no magic date and I do think I will carry the scars of this the rest of my life without a doubt. I can honestly say that this has been the most painful experience of my life. I am amazed by the range of emotions we can experience in even a single day! Anyway, I am thankful for the time being that the crying has stopped and I have moments where I think forgiveness and peace can be on the horizon. Hope you are all doing something good for yourself this weekend! : ) so good to hear the crying stops!
Praying4Peace Posted May 25, 2013 Posted May 25, 2013 Whenever it is that Phase 2 begins- it seems to last for a long time. I'm at 5.5 months. It's definitely not like 6 weeks but I still cry sometimes, just not everyday or twice a day. I can repress the thoughts and hold back. The memories don't fade though.
lilmisscantbewrong Posted May 25, 2013 Posted May 25, 2013 I'm glad you are doing well with it. One thing I will advise because I didn't do it correctly (and maybe you are - I was an idiot at the time). I didn't call, text or email or anything and I thought that was no contact. But for time to time I would look at things on the Internet to see how he was doing and I couldn't understand why I was not doing as well as I thought and then I realized I wasn't in TRUE no contact. So when I finally made myself stop that part, things truly got better for me. there are still times I would like to look, but I remind myself that it always leases to anxiety and questions and makes me feel horrible so I refuse to do it.. You may already realize this, but its something I didn't understand right off the bat. It took a long time for me. But I am so glad for you - keep it up! 1
Praying4Peace Posted May 25, 2013 Posted May 25, 2013 Lilmiss- I know what you mean. I deleted any picture I had. I have no pictures, though I could probably scrape one off the internet but I don't want to anymore. It's a set back. Definitely don't read old emails or texts or anything else you might have saved. 1
RickFox Posted May 25, 2013 Posted May 25, 2013 One of the hardest things to do was to get rid of anything and everything I had of hers.. I deleted every text, even the last few we sent that were angry or cold or cruel and all her pictures and some of the items she gave me.....gone.... to sit and stare and remind myself was a great recipe for continued pain and little to no healing.
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