Wesker Posted May 25, 2013 Posted May 25, 2013 So through a friend, I decided to meet up for a drink with one of her co-workers a couple nights back. We'd messages a few times, and talked once on the phone. She was nice, and going by the pic, cute. I went in with a open mind, and see how it goes attitude. So we meet up, have couple drinks. Do the usual talking,and getting to know each other bit. It actually was a nice time, but it seemed the longer it went, it felt more, and more like a friendly get together. I wasn't quite getting that "spark" feeling inside that would normally want to do a full blown date. Drink date ends after about an hr and a 1/2. I walk her to her car, tell it was nice meeting, and gave her a hug goodnight. I could tell she was digging me a bit more. I said I'd keep in touch, and that was it. After a couple days of thinking, I still don't feel any different. We did send a couple messages back, but made no real plans for meeting again. Because she's such a nice girl, I kinda feel like a jerk telling her that there's no real future for us (even though these sorta things happen to everyone, an it's just part of dating).
Kelemvor Posted May 25, 2013 Posted May 25, 2013 Look, it was one "date" and these types of situations are normal. Anybody who gets their feelings hurt because they got their hopes up is being very unreasonable in their expectations. If you didn't feel the chemistry, then it's just not there. No need to have some in depth conversation explaining "lack of future" or any such nonsense to create an uncomfortable vibe at work. If you don't want to meet her again, it won't happen and I'm sure she'll get the hint. You don't have to be mean, ignore her or hurt her feelings. Just don't overtly flirt and give her any more wrong mixed signals which are probably the type she picked up on in the first place that led to the date. Dating co-workers can be disastrous and should be approached with caution. I've had several situations like that where you meet for coffee or drinks and just don't feel it though you can tell the other person does... I've had one recent situation where the person kept on and I had to politely spell it out, but even then we get along fine at work. I'd much prefer that to some of the flings with co-workers that have ended in nightmarish drama and led to all types of uncomfortable situations at work. Personally, I tend to steer away from dating or getting involved with people that I see at work on a daily basis compared to say... someone that works in the same building, etc.. Anyway, don't over think it. What are you gonna do... date her now because you feel bad?
Author Wesker Posted May 25, 2013 Author Posted May 25, 2013 Actually, it's my friend's co-worker in which I don't even work with her, so no worries there.
D-Lish Posted May 25, 2013 Posted May 25, 2013 Nothing you can do about it if the spark isn't there! I don't let my friends set me up anymore, because they have always been so far off-base!
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