Chevuron Posted May 24, 2013 Posted May 24, 2013 (edited) Hi, It has been roughly 4-5 months so I think I'd share my tale as well.<: It is kind of wacky and quite silly thinking about it now <: Its kind of long-winded though. I appreciate if you read--if not STAY AWESOME and KEEP MOVING FORWARD! ---------------------------------------------------------------- My ex and I had been dating for seven years. We basically grew up together and I considered him my best friend. But, there were many times I felt ignored and unimportant. His DND game sessions took precedence over hanging out, frat outings, college. I talked to him about making more phone calls-but he said he "hated" phones. I was busy with college as well and took the days we could hang out. A year ago, an interesting thing happened. In 2012, My final year of college, my family coincidentally ended up being able move into a house right down the street from his. (Due to circumstances with our other apartment being forcibly closed, etc.) Both of us lived with our parents to complete our final years of college in conjunction with working. In the beginning, we spent so much time together--we were joined at the hip--but it was difficult to be intimately close with his overbearing, strictly religious mother. She always complained about his room, his way of dress and we really weren't even allowed to sit cuddled up together without confrontation. It was the same with my family as well. Eventually, he begin to spend more and more time while he was at college with a girl he claimed was "just his friend". His sudden new friend evolved into his "best friend that seemed to magically know him all his life" in a month. He'd get up early at 7:30 AM just to go across town on public transit to spend time with her until 9.00 PM at night. Their friendship begin to be lovingly named "Wavelength Buddies" and he'd go on in how she "understood him, thought just like him and could read his mind, how everything was so easy and he didn't have to think". She currently had a bf (now ex due to my ex becoming her now bf) herself, but he had pushed her to be in a open relationship so that she could be sure she wanted to be with him. My ex seemed so enamored with her--so I went through the details asking how he really felt, etc. However, he'd always declare he loved me and she was just his "friend". Eventually--the cheating started: sleeping together, staying over night at her and her bf's apartment ((She had run away from home to escape abuse and her current bf saved her. The is the was my ex phrased it when they kept pushing their "just friends basis")), calling her on the phone (when he said he hated phones), texting while with with me--- He ended up feeling so guilty about about the cheating that he told me and said he'd never do it again. That it was an accident that happened three times. That he was sorry for sending her a recording describing how "lovely her curves were against his, how beautiful she was, etc" (Things he had never even attempted for me). He claimed that I was more than he deserved, he wouldn't do it again and he only wanted to spend his life with me. For a while it seemed he truly just wanted to be friends with her, and she as well and she stressed wanting to be friends with me too. Everything just began to become a total trust-broken nightmare-along with the stress of college and work. It hurt even worse living right next to him. What should of been a dream begin to eat me inside. She begin to confront me in emails- Saying I was treating her like she was unimportant since I didn't want her to have "sex" with her "Wavelength buddy". That their relationship was more than "sex", but they refused to give up this aspect in their "friendship". That I "had my head up my ass". That I was treating her like this "dangly pretty thing". Her own bf strained and pleaded in emails and messages, that even if he hated the thought of her having sex with someone else that he was happy as long as she was "happy". Eventually--I would burn out on a daily basis trying to finish education course, student teaching and my own self-worth. I finally graduated in December. He wasn't there at my graduation. Eventually we did break up in January and he moved in with her shortly a month after. She made her ex move out. Now I'm mostly relieved. ========================================== A first I was terribly sad, angry, shocked. I packed up all his cards and gifts he had given me. Photos and things. I would cry for hours feeling like I was sitting outside of myself. I'd try to separate my emotional side from my logical side--usually failing. I'd drag myself to work and back to bed. I couldn't even bring myself to enjoy things I loved. All the promises down the drain. Seven years down the drain. I felt like my whole world had tumbled down and I must not be worthy of love if he didn't want me. If he didn't want me, maybe no one else would..That I was missing some sort of essential piece. However, I laugh at the just silly and craziness of it all. NC really helped! But, also making the effort to treat myself as my own Best Friend, Meditation and laughing. Reaching out to old friends and making new ones. There are moments where I do feel sad and envious. There are times when a random memory will appear. There are moments where I will stop and worry about him getting home safely wherever he is. There are so many other things and people out there. <: The world did not end because one person did not want to be with me. Just keep moving forward at your own pace. Edited May 24, 2013 by Chevuron
far_far_away Posted May 24, 2013 Posted May 24, 2013 Thank you for your story. I am coming to realize I have to be my own best friend. My ex never treated me badly it just had to end I guess. I felt like my whole world had tumbled down and I must not be worthy of love if he didn't want me. That I was missing some sort of essential piece. This is how I feel now. I know it will end eventually.
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