Adele0908 Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 Ok Babolat. If you were secure, then all those posts from these admirers would not bother you. It wouldn't bother you enough to make a post about it.
Adele0908 Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 Could you feel confident with an Amber Rose, Miranda Kerr, Naomi Campbell, Bar Rafaeli, Halle Berry? Imagine the attention and adoration those women receive. Just sayin.
Emilia Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 Can I eliminate guys hitting on me while in a relationship. No. Not the woman's fault. But if I take flirtatious guys up on their offers, then we have a problem. You can eliminate them from your facebook friends list. Why would anyone want to be friends with people who don't respect their boundaries and the fact that they are in a relationship? 2
MidwestUSA Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 You can eliminate them from your facebook friends list. Why would anyone want to be friends with people who don't respect their boundaries and the fact that they are in a relationship? I used to tease my then boyfriend about his Facebook followers. No matter what he posted, these girls were on the like button immediately. We announced our engagement, and the likes slacked off. Announced our marriage, and some disappeared, while others expressed their congrats to both of us. Amusing, annoying, whatever, it's of no consequence in the grand scheme of life. I can't completely diss Facebook, as it is how he and I met (after years of me paying for OLD, LOL!), but hubby got ripped a new one the other night when he facebooked thru dinner. He won't make that mistake again!
Emilia Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 I used to tease my then boyfriend about his Facebook followers. No matter what he posted, these girls were on the like button immediately. We announced our engagement, and the likes slacked off. Announced our marriage, and some disappeared, while others expressed their congrats to both of us. Amusing, annoying, whatever, it's of no consequence in the grand scheme of life. I can't completely diss Facebook, as it is how he and I met (after years of me paying for OLD, LOL!), but hubby got ripped a new one the other night when he facebooked thru dinner. He won't make that mistake again! I suppose my point is that I don't think using the like button (which I do as well a lot, just like here on LS ) is the same as posting 'great tits' on someone's photo - and for the woman to tolerate that.
MidwestUSA Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 I suppose my point is that I don't think using the like button (which I do as well a lot, just like here on LS ) is the same as posting 'great tits' on someone's photo - and for the woman to tolerate that. Exactly! I'm come to accept that the like button is a best friend to a lot of people, as is share, which is more annoying because I have to adjust their settings to ignore the crap. As far as comments, any "friend" on my list who displays their crude/rudeness gets "unfriended", not that they'd even notice! But, maybe we've strayed off topic here; that NEVER happens on LS! 2
Author Babolat Posted May 29, 2013 Author Posted May 29, 2013 Ok Babolat. If you were secure, then all those posts from these admirers would not bother you. It wouldn't bother you enough to make a post about it. I was secure with her and myself; I questioned her Liking these comments and I questioned her male friends posting the comments they did. It was never about feeling secure, or not, it was about what's appropriate behavior when in a comitted relationship.
MidwestUSA Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 I was secure with her and myself; I questioned her Liking these comments and I questioned her male friends posting the comments they did. It was never about feeling secure, or not, it was about what's appropriate behavior when in a comitted relationship. I certainly never got the impression you were insecure. In fact, you put up with a lot that would make others jealous, insecure, just plain PO'ed. Credit to you for that. Sadly, everyone has a different idea of what is "appropriate" and you know what hers is. 1
Author Babolat Posted May 29, 2013 Author Posted May 29, 2013 I certainly never got the impression you were insecure. In fact, you put up with a lot that would make others jealous, insecure, just plain PO'ed. Credit to you for that. Sadly, everyone has a different idea of what is "appropriate" and you know what hers is. Thanks! Yes, I put up with a lot. My friends are amazed at what I put up with in that relationship. Someone recently told me I was an enabler for her because I did not speak up, try to change her, try to control her, try to keep her from partying like she did. That is not my style. I started looking at some of the FB pages for the males who comment on her posts a lot, or say flirty things to her on FB. How ironic, they have a long list of beautiful sexy model like woman, lots of plastic surgey, half naked photos, as their friends that they seem to "hit" all the time on FB. Knowing "these" types are her male friends is a bit distrubring too. Again, her photos are appropriate, nothing sexy and scandalous. Again, the relationship is over, I ended it. I am simply reflecting back, trying to learn and grow.
Emilia Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 Thanks! Yes, I put up with a lot. My friends are amazed at what I put up with in that relationship. Someone recently told me I was an enabler for her because I did not speak up, try to change her, try to control her, try to keep her from partying like she did. That is not my style. Classic. Again, the relationship is over, I ended it. I am simply reflecting back, trying to learn and grow. Good for you. She didn't take responsibility for her actions and you would have liked her to I think. 1
MidwestUSA Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 Classic. Good for you. She didn't take responsibility for her actions and you would have liked her to I think. Nail has been hit on head, ding ding ding!
Author Babolat Posted June 10, 2013 Author Posted June 10, 2013 My ex gf and I met this weekend to talk out some of our issues. One of the issues I expressed, with lot of reservations, is the attention she gets on Facebook from her male friends. At first she said "Oh that just him being funny, we've been friends for many years". Or "I am good friends with him and his wife, it's just good fun". And some of that made sense to me. When I told her I would not leave flirtatious comments on any of my FB females friends pages she said "And that is one reason why I like you!". I told her when you are in a relationship, men should respect that, and not leave flirtatious comments. And I said it's no different than being in a room with all these FB friends and they say it in front of her and me. She agreed. After I shared some more of the comments I have read, she did acknowledge some of the comments felt inappropriate to her and she had thought about it before. She said she has struggled and dealt with being attractive her whole life and the attention, good and bad, she gets as a result of it.
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