Babysteps

[youngnlove89]

We are all here for a reason: our hearts hurt.

 

It's an ache that doesn't fade, it follows us wherever we go, it's a lie we tell ourselves everyday, it's a smile we try to generate, it's a pain in the pit of our stomach, it's emptiness, it's a feeling on fire that burns our soul, it’s having a thousand reasons to run and only one reason to stay.

 

The hardest questions are the ones we already know the answers too.

 

Will they come back?

Will we be together again?

Do they miss me?

Why are they ignoring me?

 

They say to get change, you have to do something different. Easier said then done, right? (this is where you shake your head, "yes") How do you ignore someone you love? How do you move on from the one you thought you'd be with forever? How do you heal your ego from this open wound?

 

Determining why it's so hard to let go is an answer we have to find deep within ourselves. Of course there are memories, bonds and routines developed, but ultimately, it's up to us to break this feeling. It is up to us to find an approach to work with diminishing our anxiety, pain and discomfort. We have to learn what it was like before them. We can either stay in bed or get up. We can either eat the cake or choose the apple. We can either go to the gym or make an excuse not to. We can move past this breakup or we can wallow in the deep waters of it.

 

Free will is the freedom of humans to make choices that are not determined by prior causes or by divine intervention

 

We have been faced with a situation. Not a choice, not an option, just a blatant "bill" of heartbreak. It is up to us with how we handle this situation. Once you realize this, you will find peace. You can't control what has been dealt to you, but you can decide how you will handle it.

 

It's been said time and again that No Contact is the anecdote. But to actually put it into action is the hard part. We are all in denial, our hearts are hanging off our sleeves like badgered limbs in World War II. We are damaged, our heads are in the clouds, we are living in fairy tales where the other person "always comes back", we can't accept reality because we choose not to.

 

It's time to wake up.

 

It's time to feel the way you want to feel, the way you dream of feeling. It's time to make a change. It's time to get up, brush off the crumbs that they threw at you, put your foot down and say "I've had enough", it's time to enjoy life because guess what, we only got one and every day is one day less (I'm sounding like my mother now).

 

It will still hurt. Yes. That pain is only lifted in time. Time is your friend. You can drink every night, you can cry yourself to sleep, you can listen to sad songs, you can make an excuse to not go to the gym, you can lay in bed all day, you can decline offers to go out with friends, you can feel sorry for yourself...it's up to you with how you handle your sadness.

 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that there is nothing you can do to change the situation you have been dealt with. You can only accept it. You cannot change what has been done, but you can control how you handle it.

 

What makes you happy? That feeling right before the first fall on a roller coaster? That buzz from a few beers with friends? The movie "Ted"? Going out on the lake and feeling the warm breeze on your face? The tan lines you get from a day in the sun? Chocolate ice cream on a hot day? Playing with puppies at the store that you oodle over? Taking a trip? Listening to Led Zeppelin? Getting a massage? Making a few extra bucks? Volunteering at a hospital? Visiting an old friend? Buying a new outfit? Making someone laugh? Hugging your mom?

 

Don't you see? Happiness is out there. It's outside your door right now. It's there whenever you are ready to grab it. It's in arms reach. But, it's up to you to go and get it.