Disagreements/Arguments

[na49]

We all have them at times with our SO. I had one last night with my girlfriend and because they are so rare between us I get serious anxiety. I feel like she'll leave me even though the thing we were arguing over was very minuscule and she knew she was being ridiculous after it was said and done. I felt guilty for speaking my mind by the end of it just because I hate arguing with her. I could have kept it to myself, but I felt like I needed to say something which she obviously didn't like hearing.

 

Do you ever fear your partner will leave you during an argument? or am I just seriously insecure?

[Treasa]

If you're not being abusive or acting controlling or ridiculous during these arguments, don't worry about it.

 

If she leaves you because of mere arguments, there's something wrong with her. Arguments are normal as long as they aren't frequent or repeating.

 

You should definitely feel free to voice your opinion without concern or anxiety.

[Jane2011]

I don't fear him leaving me when we argue, but he fears me leaving him. As a matter of fact, you sound like my boyfriend because every time we argue, he explicitly asks if I am going to leave him. He even uses the same wording as you -- "I get anxiety." If I weren't so sure he doesn't come onto Loveshack, I'd think you were him.

 

Anyway, I don't think it's 'insecure' (in a bad way) to worry about your partner leaving you, especially after an argument. It just means you value her a lot and don't want her to leave you.

 

But you may, in fact, feel somehow unsure of how much she cherishes you, because you think she'd be quick to leave somehow. Like, you must think her attraction to/devotion to you is pretty surface-level if you think a fight over small things would make her leave.

 

Why is this? Does she act in other ways (even when you're not fighting) like she's unsatisfied with you as a partner?

 

As I said, my boyfriend has these worries too when we fight, but it's fairly groundless because I have no intention of leaving him and never have, even when we've fought. So...

[na49]

I don't fear him leaving me when we argue, but he fears me leaving him. As a matter of fact, you sound like my boyfriend because every time we argue, he explicitly asks if I am going to leave him. He even uses the same wording as you -- "I get anxiety." If I weren't so sure he doesn't come onto Loveshack, I'd think you were him.

 

Anyway, I don't think it's 'insecure' (in a bad way) to worry about your partner leaving you, especially after an argument. It just means you value her a lot and don't want her to leave you.

 

But you may, in fact, feel somehow unsure of how much she cherishes you, because you think she'd be quick to leave somehow. Like, you must think her attraction to/devotion to you is pretty surface-level if you think a fight over small things would make her leave.

 

Why is this? Does she act in other ways (even when you're not fighting) like she's unsatisfied with you as a partner?

 

As I said, my boyfriend has these worries too when we fight, but it's fairly groundless because I have no intention of leaving him and never have, even when we've fought. So...

 

I'm the passive type, so I rarely will argue with anyone, not just her. I'm the type of person who just lets things slide because to make a big stink about it would be pointless. Last night was something that I felt was important so I felt that it should be addressed. It was only for her benefit too which is what confused me.

 

A lot of this fear probably comes from the fact that this is a girl who has dumped me before. We just got back together almost 2 months ago after a long time apart (6 months), and her original reasons for leaving me were pretty silly to begin with. (due to "stress") She was the one who reached out to me about rekindling the relationship so that should make me think "If she wanted to dump me over an argument, I doubt she would have asked for me back in the first place" but I can't think like that.