new boyfriend

[vixandlayla]

Hi im vicki, 29 and I have been with a guy I met online for 3 months, he has just turned 23! We see eachother about 4 times a week and have just had a 4 night butlins break away with my 20 month old daughter. They adore eachother. ..we have already told eachother that we love eachother...

however my concern is that I havnt met any of his friends yet. I over heard a friend of his on the phone asking when he is going to me meet me...but he said we will arrange something. He goes into another room every time a friend phones him. And us constantly on twitter/facebook/ebay etc while hes with me, even out having a meal on our hols!!

his motto is go with the flow...I am concerned that he perhaps feel his mates will think im not his usual type (as im older and have a child and im not the slimmest!) ..so im getting paranoid. ..

Ive changed my relationship status on facebook but he hasnt. Just feel deflated and think maybe 'I love you' come s out of his mouth without meaning it...he has met severak of my friends...please advise me...(my daughters dad left me a year ago after I found out he was cheating so I am quite worried the same will happen but mg new bf assures me he wants to be in our lives) vix x

[Emeral]

I dont know the guy, but if you want a guy that wont cheat on you, get someone your age or slightly older, why is obvious, even if he is loyal now, in time you'll grow older he'll still be younger and will want to sort his needs somewhere, he will naturally be attracted to younger women, and then you'll know how much he truly loves you. again i dont know the guy but if youre looking for a long term i can only hope this works.

we can look at it differently too, if you keep working on yourself to become also the desire of his friends too you'll most probably keep him, but how long can you keep up with that kind of pressure?

[TaraMaiden]

vixandlayla, proceed with caution.

I'm merely going to point out that at this particular age, you're still dealing with someone who is to all intents and purposes, still biologically 'juvenile'.

 

 

Read here.

 

All of it.

 

Particularly, this bit....

 

Recent studies show that neural insulation isn't complete until the mid-20s.

[vixandlayla]

Thanks for the comments...as far as his age goes, normally id not go for someone this young, by having got to know him hes pretty mature for his age, not like anyone ive met/know his age anyway...he has 3 sisters all with kids and has told me he wants to be a good role model for my daughter...he buys her things and is great with her...im hoping he wont look for younger models....not every guy is after a model skinny woman!! I feel a young 29 yr old. And he prefers older women apparantly...

[TaraMaiden]

You're missing the point.

 

He may seem 'pretty mature for his age' but biologically, anatomically, cerebrally, he is not fully formed yet.

 

Therefore some of his behaviour will appear juvenile, immature and incomprehensible to you, because he is still developing as an adult.

 

I'm just telling you to observe his behaviour and understand it better.

Some of it may well be okay by you, and make sense.

Other aspects will leave you puzzled.

 

And that's probably why.

 

because he is, quite literally, still getting his head together.

[vixandlayla]

Ah ok! I see your point...should I quit while its early days :$

[Emeral]

if you continue what are the ramifications, if you are enjoying it now, why not enjoy it for a little bit more, just dont get hooked. i dont know if im giving terrible advice here

[vixandlayla]

Im not too sure if id want to enjoy it...if its inevitable he will be unfaithful. I have a young toddler who is already attached to him. Need to put her first, but I do love this guy x

[Emeral]

i would suggest you get a second opinion maybe from those around you, like close friends and family who will look at it with you in mind. but me personally just reading the headline, i dont see something good happening out of it, because of the age gap, and because i know how most men are hardwired and how women do grow faster than men, so in the long term, like 15 years from now your side of the story will be totally different, im not being shallow and its not just about physical appearance, with age comes a lot of other things, your intellectual needs are different your medical condition is different your age is different and he will still be in a totally different stage, does he have the patience to take care of you, what about when youre 50 and he is 44, i just wanted to show you my perspective. maybe he is different, but from here i cant tell, either way i do wish you and your toddler a very happy life.

[TaraMaiden]

I'm not suggesting he will be unfaithful.

He is probably completely dedicated to you.

But some of his ideas are 'young' in attitude.

You say he demonstrates maturity for his age.

 

Fine, go with it, and be attentive to that.

Just be aware he still has more maturing to do.

 

Put it this way:

Better here and now, than 5 years ago, no?

[vixandlayla]

Thankyou both for your opinions, i have taken it all on board