LisaANC Posted May 24, 2013 Posted May 24, 2013 So, I have been thinking a lot lately about my relationship with my boyfriend. We have been dating about a year and a half, and our relationship has been good. We are both 21, and we both just finished our junior year of college. My problem begins with the fact that my boyfriend will be studying abroad in Australia from July until around Thanksgiving, which means I won't be able to see him for 5 months. I have been spending as much time as I can with him now, but I am still dreading him leaving. We have decided that we do not want to break up before he leaves. Neither of us have ever had a long distance relationship, so I can't say for sure how we will handle that. To further complicate the issue, I have strong feelings for one of my boyfriend's friends. Not his best friend, but one of the guys who hangs around with my boyfriend's roommates all the time. I met him about 6 months ago, and there was instant chemistry between us. He had a girlfriend at the time, so we have just been friends since then. However, he recently broke up with his girlfriend, which means this fall he will be around, and he is single. I just don't know what I should do. I love my boyfriend, but 5 months away is a long time, and realistically, I could really see myself falling for this other guy. He has a lot of similarities to my boyfriend (both are really cute, both are athletic, both are really nice guys), but he is different than my boyfriend in ways that make me curious. I love going out to bars and parties with my boyfriend, but this other guy isn't like that. He's more introverted, so I guess he's not as "fun" as my boyfriend, but when it's just the two of us, I have had some of the deepest and most memorable conversations of my life with him. He listens to me and understands me in a way that my boyfriend never has. I guess I'm having trouble deciding what I want, and some alternative points of view might help me figure that out. Any advice for me would be greatly appreciated!
justwhoiam Posted May 24, 2013 Posted May 24, 2013 The other guy is just lust. You're 21 and you might want to follow your instinct before you settle down in a serious relationship that might last forever. But if that's something you're considering (getting intimate with the other guy), don't keep the boyfriend. Good luck.
LittleTiger Posted May 24, 2013 Posted May 24, 2013 I think you should break up with your boyfriend. LDRs are seriously tough. Even if it's only for a short period of time, they require complete commitment to the relationship on both sides. He hasn't even left yet and you are already considering the possibility of a relationship with someone else. Seriously, you might as well break up before he goes because, regardless of his commitment to you, you aren't going to last five minutes!
AnnonymousGuy Posted May 24, 2013 Posted May 24, 2013 You don't love your b/f like you think you do, otherwise you wouldn't be having these feelings. I am very much in love with my girlfriend, i do look at other girls, i find other girls interesting and attractive. But at no point do i want to be with anyone else other than my girlfriend.
ExpatInItaly Posted May 25, 2013 Posted May 25, 2013 I have to agree with other posters' sentiments that since you're already into someone else, it's time to end it with your boyfriend. Imagine he were falling for your good friend, comparing you to her, and generally thinking about her a lot. Then imagine you're out of the country for several months, while the two of them are back home, VERY far from you.What would you want him to do?
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