kitcat123 Posted May 24, 2013 Posted May 24, 2013 I'm desperate for advice, please. ): My ex and I broke up last Sept after dating for 2 years. I initially wanted to break up with him, but he wanted a break instead. 3 months later he starts to ignore me, and avoids seeing me, and I learned later he met another girl. He never told me he was calling off the break, and I never thought that we was going to. I thought that one day we'd just be together officially again, cause this 'break' of ours was just basically us dating still. He ignored me for a good 3-4 weeks in Feb, then in March after desperate pleas from me to have us meet up (I know really bad on my part), we starting hooking up and he was cheating on his ex. It was really a big mess, i wanted to sleep with him because I loved him still, and I hoped that he'd get back with me. In mid March, my ex would drunk text me every now and then and tell me how much he misses me, and how it feels so 'right' to be with me, and that when hes with me he feels like he's home. Clearly that led me to believe that we were gonna get back together, and one of the last text he sent me said that he needed to find a way to break up with his gf, but I was too eager and frustrated with his indecisiveness, so I told him to break up with her by midnight. Lo and behold, he doesn't and the next day we sat down at dinner and he said he's too scared to come back to me because he thinks i'll just break up with him and do the same hurtful things to him again. After that I initiated no contact for 1.5 months. Fast forward to 2 weeks ago, I caved in and called my ex, asked if he still had something of mine (stupid excuse just to talk to him), on the phone he said he's been wanting to contact me but since I initiated no contact, he didn't want to be selfish. He asked me to go get coffee with him, and that he'll text me when. 1 week ago he finally gets around to msging me, and I decided that i should stick with NC, because seeing him hurts too much. He argued with me and told me he was really excited to catch up, and that he's really sorry for leaving me and that he really wants to make it up to me. He thinks that we can be friends, but i love him in a romantic way and it hurts to see him. When i finally saw him I was really bitter and sad, but it was still nice to see him. He invited me to his birthday bar run, and I don't know if i should go or not. Thing is, i still want to get back with him. But my ex once told my sister that the only way he'll get back with me is if we were friends, and he saw that i actually changed. He's dating someone else right now, and I just feel like i dont know if i should be friends with him. I don't want to give him everything he wants, but if what he told my sister was true, then i have to bear through the pain of seeing him, and show that i've changed? right? Help please ): (I'm 20, he's 20)
OwlSoul Posted May 24, 2013 Posted May 24, 2013 Friendship thing has a huge chance to be a trap. I think, in this case it truly is. In my point of view, there is not reconcilation if any of the partners started dating someone else. Especially, sleeping. The guy you are in love with seems to be a huge faggot for me. 1. He is not sincere. He should of tell you when his break became a break-up, and he wants to date someone else. It is a fundamental sign of respect, which he lacks for you. 2. He was/is sleeping with 2 people at the same time. Like really? Can't he hold his dick inside of his pants? Is he that sexually active to want to have sex all day around? My male friend said that only if this is the case, or the person is a total *******, the guy starts messing with two people at the same time. 3. You really need time for your own. The fact that you was ok sleeping with him after the break-up to 'make' him love you, knowing that you're making him to cheat on other girl... I dunno, sounds really messed up.
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