vanhalenfan Posted May 24, 2013 Posted May 24, 2013 I'm in a complicated situation with a friend. I don't quite know how to handle it. Let me try to explain... My friend has had a rather difficult life full of issues complicated by low self-esteem in combination with a high ego and a fear of failure or being looked down upon. We've been friends since childhood, so I do know her very well. She was bullied a lot as a child and always seemed to want to be...I don't know, more respected and looked at as having a successful life as she grew into adulthood. (She is 32 years old now.) She was abused by her father. Not sexually, as far as I know. Verbal and Physical abuse. Her mother died at a young age. Anyway, I had to give that quick background in order for you to try to help me figure this out... For the past 6 months (since November), she's been lying extensively about a "relationship" she's having with a particular man (He is an acquaintance of sorts, I don't know him too well). She's been telling specific people about crazy sexual rendevzous, how she is such a hit with his "friends", everybody seems to get along great with her in his crowd, making up so many stories along the way of things they do, posting random stuff on facebook like check-ins at restaurants saying she is with him (not tagging, just saying she is with him)...I can go on forever. Trust me, it is very extensive and the stories she has made about this poor man (who had no idea she was doing this to him) are actually in many ways believable because she would include explicit details that you would think no one would be crazy enough to make it all up! Many people fell for it. I am the only one who knows the man in person. I hadn't spoken to him in a very long time, though, which is why I call him more of an acquaintance. Anyway, her latest (bigger) story was that she thought she was pregnant. Six weeks ago or so, she came to me all upset saying she had had unprotected sex, blah, blah (she made an entire story out of it) and that she had to take the Plan B emergency contraceptive. It went as far as she "had" to borrow $50 from me to get it! Well, a few weeks go by, and she then makes up another story that she feels the pill didn't work, but was scared to test....So, she eventually does, and says she sees a faint line...But thinks it's really negative. She says she will re-test in a week. She does and she stated it was negative. (This entire story from start to finish was BS.) A few days ago, I happen to run into this man. Well, I had mentioned her and he didn't even recall who she even was! She had met him twice before in the past. Anyway, I was pretty shocked. I didn't want to further embarrass him or her so I basically said I must be mistaken with someone else. I am not a gullible person by any means of the word. Her stories were that explicit in detail. She and I don't really get together anymore, so I never questioned why I never saw him. I assumed it was just me and others had seen him around. I haven't said anything to her yet. I don't even know.....what to think. I feel like she made this up to make up for a lack of a social life, or because she wanted people to think she has some kind of interesting life. Her life is a little on the low-key, boring side, if anything. She has such low self-esteem. I am hurt by what she's done, but I actually feel bad for her in many ways. I don't even know what to say to her. Another one of her "victims" of her stories knows the truth now because I confided in her. She has no idea what to say/do either. Just leave it be until she puts an end to it? It's rather frightening that someone would do this to someone...I mean, this man has no idea...It's very wrong. What do you think is wrong that she would do this? She was in therapy for her issues, but not anymore as far as I know. Thanks in advance!
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