aisuru Posted May 24, 2013 Posted May 24, 2013 Not really sure how to explain where my headspace is. Not sure if it's the breakup. The job situation. Waiting to be back in school in the fall. Haven't been motivated to run or go to the gym. I don't know. I don't like this feeling. This, I know, is likely the depression stage, made more difficult by the upheaval of everything else in my life. Lots of big changes. I was doing so well, driven and focused. Riding the wave of anxiety. Now I just got nothing. No energy. No drive. And in the back of my head, in a space I try to ignore, all I can think is, why? Why doesn't he call (I know the answer, no need to tell me). Then the other part of me says, give it a rest, he broke up with you. In a pretty jerky way if I was honest with myself. I didn't deserve that. Or maybe I did. I don't know. I hate this.
Hockeyguy19 Posted May 24, 2013 Posted May 24, 2013 Not really sure how to explain where my headspace is. Not sure if it's the breakup. The job situation. Waiting to be back in school in the fall. Haven't been motivated to run or go to the gym. I don't know. I don't like this feeling. This, I know, is likely the depression stage, made more difficult by the upheaval of everything else in my life. Lots of big changes. I was doing so well, driven and focused. Riding the wave of anxiety. Now I just got nothing. No energy. No drive. And in the back of my head, in a space I try to ignore, all I can think is, why? Why doesn't he call (I know the answer, no need to tell me). Then the other part of me says, give it a rest, he broke up with you. In a pretty jerky way if I was honest with myself. I didn't deserve that. Or maybe I did. I don't know. I hate this. You didn't deserve it at all, and you know you didn't. It's a crappy phase your going through and we are here for you. You got alot going on and it's a big change, school is exciting and you should be happy for that! Even I you get out for a walk or jog, it's something. The mind is an interesting thing, but it's controllable, you know the steps to help get over this and your doing them. Keep posting and keep your chin up, were all here to help! 1
SadHumiliated Posted May 24, 2013 Posted May 24, 2013 Not really sure how to explain where my headspace is. Not sure if it's the breakup. The job situation. Waiting to be back in school in the fall. Haven't been motivated to run or go to the gym. I don't know. I don't like this feeling. This, I know, is likely the depression stage, made more difficult by the upheaval of everything else in my life. Lots of big changes. I was doing so well, driven and focused. Riding the wave of anxiety. Now I just got nothing. No energy. No drive. And in the back of my head, in a space I try to ignore, all I can think is, why? Why doesn't he call (I know the answer, no need to tell me). Then the other part of me says, give it a rest, he broke up with you. In a pretty jerky way if I was honest with myself. I didn't deserve that. Or maybe I did. I don't know. I hate this. You did not deserve it. I think I'm also entering the depression phase and everytime I'm at home and I think of my ex, I do a minute plank. I may have a broken heart but dammit my abs will look good. You should try that. Every time you think of your ex do some sort of small exercise, especially since you are having trouble making it to the gym. Hang in there, you will be ok in the end. 1
Author aisuru Posted May 24, 2013 Author Posted May 24, 2013 Thank you both for responding.. I just can't seem to see the Forrest through the trees this evening. We didn't argue much but boy do I want to call him up and give him a piece of my mind! Fortunately, I deleted his contact info. Bastard.
insomniax Posted May 24, 2013 Posted May 24, 2013 Trying to completly pull through my recent break up i have gone back to my old habits of working and working alot. More or less 2 full time jobs, keeping my mind and body occupied and working towards my life goals. You are doing better than me i havent deleted my exes contact info in my phone so props to you. Yelling at him deff wont do you any good, it would probably make you worse off. the "why" aspect is hard, but maybe in the end it doesnt really matter. The other person hurt you but you can only give them power by contacting them. I know its hard, i think about it all the time (even try to make excuses to myself to justify possibly doing it). Wherever your drive is reach down and try and find it, there is still some it just may be hidden. I know mine sure got that way, i forced myself to get back up and go at things again. Best of luck to you! 2
BustedUpInside Posted May 24, 2013 Posted May 24, 2013 Not really sure how to explain where my headspace is. Not sure if it's the breakup. The job situation. Waiting to be back in school in the fall. Haven't been motivated to run or go to the gym. I don't know. I don't like this feeling. This, I know, is likely the depression stage, made more difficult by the upheaval of everything else in my life. Lots of big changes. I was doing so well, driven and focused. Riding the wave of anxiety. Now I just got nothing. No energy. No drive. And in the back of my head, in a space I try to ignore, all I can think is, why? Why doesn't he call (I know the answer, no need to tell me). Then the other part of me says, give it a rest, he broke up with you. In a pretty jerky way if I was honest with myself. I didn't deserve that. Or maybe I did. I don't know. I hate this. Sometimes I wonder if you are my diary that has somehow become sentient and has then figured out how to use the internet. Seriously, this is exactly how I have been feeling for the last week. Just complete apathy towards everything. It is a hassle to get out of bed, to take a shower, to fix myself breakfast, to hold my end of a conversation, etc. What makes it worse is that I can feel myself becoming a more boring person. That being said, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, right? I can feel the shift but it just hasn't quite surfaced yet. I bet that is the case with you too. It just feels like I am not quite ready to stop being depressed yet. If I stop being depressed then I have to finally admit that the ex is forever gone and I really have to move on. While I am still wallowing, it makes the relationship feel just a little more real. It's ok, though. Be kind to yourself. You are having completely normal feelings and at least one other person feels the same way as you. We will both be ok. Just a little more time, right?
cherie88 Posted May 25, 2013 Posted May 25, 2013 Its been four months and i feel the exact same way. No motivation to wake up or make breakfast and do good for myself But i think it ties in with low self-esteem/confidence, we are letting them define our potential. I feel like the biggest hypocrite saying this , but sometimes I wish I can just get up and live life do whats good for ME, cause at the end of the day Im what matters .. not what he did, and not what he's doing. Sometimes watching this video/listening to this song helps, very inspiring atleast for me.. Since im unable to help myself, I hope I helped someone over here.
ddlovexx Posted May 26, 2013 Posted May 26, 2013 This is part of the "up and down" process... trust me, I know it well. One day we're riding high knowing we're better off, and the next we can't get out of bed (today for me). I tell myself "this will pass" to help me get through. And then one day I wake up and I feel better and I tell myself "see, it does pass". Bad days and good days happen. Force yourself to go to the gym, even if it's for 20 minutes. Go hang out with friends even if you don't want to, it'll distract and you'll probably even find yourself laughing. You're allowed to "feel" so don't beat yourself up over this. Delve and then move on... but you have to make the choice to want to move on and feel better. No matter how hard it is or how much it sucks, we have to try. "There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind."
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