far_far_away Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 Its still really fresh, its only three days and the longest we have ever been without contact. I did not want to break up, he seemed to think I shouldn't commit to staying in this country and a visa because he didn't know what he wanted. I found out he was thinking of ending it. I said I didn't deserve that and did what he couldn't, I walked out. I am completely in denial. I don't want to be but I know I am. I feel like we haven't really broken up, that he will come to his senses. I know when he doesn't I will be crushed. Whats even worse, is despite our tendency to put ex's up on a pedestal he is honestly the greatest man I have ever known. I am just trying to get through one day at a time. I finally slept, I managed to wash my hair and I ate something today - the first time in three days. All this just makes me feel more in denial. My life is on pause.
ConfusedT Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 I completely feel what youre going through. It's been 3 weeks for me and I am the dumper, i also just started NC 3 days ago and its the longest we haven't spoken either. I guess I really had no choice but to leave, but it still is the hardest thing to endure. Time will fix things if you let it.. The first week+ is the worst... I didnt eat or do anything either. Im just gettin my life back together.
aisuru Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 I understand what you are feeling. I was there 2 months ago. I am here to tell you it gets better.
Author far_far_away Posted May 23, 2013 Author Posted May 23, 2013 NC hasn't been so bad. In fact I am almost scared about contact, I am scared that he will have taken the NC period to finally figure out what he wants, and that's not us. Again, denial. He said during the breakup that he would call me tonight, i said don't. He hasn't. I almost want him to, but again I am not clear enough about how I feel to want to risk speaking to him. He has so much of my stuff, that we will have to speak again at some point. But that wont be anytime soon. Its strange, I have been the dumpee before, and all I could think them was I wish I was the dumper, it must be easier. Its not. Its sucks on both sides.
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