LoveB86 Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 He leaves me for her. Been almost 2 months since. I was there for him when no one acknowledge him at work. I motivated him to get the higher position for better pay. He got it and then dumps me a few months later for her (the other co worker). His life is so much better now. Higher position, more money, new girlfriend who probably is a better match for him, he has it all. I got the liar, the cheater, I was there when he had no money, the broken heart, the vanish "houdini" act from him. It hurts so bad.. I just know I gave him my all and that's all I can say.
kidinfo1 Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 Hey, try to stay strong! This may or may not help, but you are not in this alone, my mom is dealing with the almost same exact situation, except they were together for 15 years, and he left her once he got a higher paying job for some slut, AFTER she supported him when he couldnt even hold a job at a fast food place. Try not to worry about you ex, all this will catch up to him sooner or later, In the mean time, once you get some energy up, try and focus on working on yourself to get your self confidence back. It took me awhile, but I just bought a new wardrobe, started working out, and all that good stuff and I'm starting to see the light again, although it does hurt a lot sometimes (only been a month for me). You got this! 2
soccerrprp Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 He leaves me for her. Been almost 2 months since. I was there for him when no one acknowledge him at work. I motivated him to get the higher position for better pay. He got it and then dumps me a few months later for her (the other co worker). His life is so much better now. Higher position, more money, new girlfriend who probably is a better match for him, he has it all. I got the liar, the cheater, I was there when he had no money, the broken heart, the vanish "houdini" act from him. It hurts so bad.. I just know I gave him my all and that's all I can say. LoveB86, Are you all in the same work place? I wasn't certain. I am sorry this has happened to you. The best way to get back is to ignore them and/or show them that you're the class act that you are. Improve yourself, move on and do your best to keep your head up high.... 1
lemonadekiwi Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 He leaves me for her. Been almost 2 months since. I was there for him when no one acknowledge him at work. I motivated him to get the higher position for better pay. He got it and then dumps me a few months later for her (the other co worker). His life is so much better now. Higher position, more money, new girlfriend who probably is a better match for him, he has it all. I got the liar, the cheater, I was there when he had no money, the broken heart, the vanish "houdini" act from him. It hurts so bad.. I just know I gave him my all and that's all I can say. Ah hun....i'm so sorry. And I completely understand how much pain you are feeling right now. When me and my last long term ex split (we were together 5 years), that's how I felt. He had a better job, more money, amazing social life, lots of potential new girls around him. And i was just shattered, heartbroken, felt sick... What you have got to try and think is this.....WHO CARES? So what if he has a better job, a new girlfriend, this seemingly 'perfect' life? The time will come when she will have to put up with all the crap you did when you were together. His life has nothing to do with you, and more importantly - your life is nothing to do with him. You can now focus on YOU. Do what makes you happy, get out there, improve yourself, do things that make you smile, try new things. Not to prove anything to him, but for your own wellbeing and happiness. His life isn't as great as you think. No ones is. You make the best of what you have. I promise, hand on heart, you won't feel like this forever. I couldn't stop thinking like that when me and my ex split, and i would get into a vicious cycle of thinking...i was there for him through so much, he broke my heart, and now he has an amazing life and it would kill me constantly. Go and grab your amazing life. It's out there waiting for you. And one day, you'll meet someone who won't cheat, take you for granted or leave you. He will cherish you, and be a million times your ex. Be strong 1
Chi townD Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 Girl, you need to stop. What you fail to understand is WE are in charge of our own happiness. He was not your world, he wasn't your universe and he isn't your life! Our lives are our own. And we chose who we SHARE our lives with. You need to start making positive changes in your life. Get a new wardrobe and a new hairstyle. This is going to help with your self esteem. Get a membership to the gym and run your little ass off on the treadmill and push some weight. Join a spin class or Zumba Class. You meet some great people and you forge friendships with your class. This will help you work off the stress and frustrations that your having. PLUS! You're working towards that hot and sexy bod! That's going to definitely help your self esteem when you catch guys trying to steal a peek at you! Then, go back to school, get that degree and if you already have your Bachelor's then go get your Masters. A better education is going to open more doors for you. Hell, you could end up being HIS BOSS!! Get some new hobbies. Join a running club, or cycling club, or co-ed softball, or Community Theater.... Anything to keep you busy and active!! Finally, travel! Go see the world! Grab a girlfriend and take a Cruise! Go to the Bahamas! Go to Paris! Anywhere!!!! Traveling is sooooo theraputic! DO IT! His life is NOT better than yours! Our lives are what we make of it! And the BEST revenge you can get is to lead a damn good life!!! So, get motivated!!! Set your goals and do them! I promise you, you're going to feel better about yourself. STAY BUSY!!!! 4
Author LoveB86 Posted May 24, 2013 Author Posted May 24, 2013 LoveB86, Are you all in the same work place? I wasn't certain. I am sorry this has happened to you. The best way to get back is to ignore them and/or show them that you're the class act that you are. Improve yourself, move on and do your best to keep your head up high.... Him and his gf works down the street from me. I have to go to their building everyday. But I still see them around once in awhile.
iouaname Posted May 24, 2013 Posted May 24, 2013 I feel like this sometimes, too. My ex moved to a new city, got a new job and started having a really active social life - and I feel very left behind. There are times I begin to think about how much better his life is than mine because he seems to be living it up in this new city. You're not alone in that feeling. However - things like pain and happiness are not permanent. Last summer I was the happiest person in the world. Now? I'm suffering through depression. These things change. He might be happy right now, but he's not going to be happy forever. There will be a point in his future where he won't be so happy and where things won't be going so amazingly for him, and then there will be a point in your future where things start to go really well. Having faith in the fact that you will be happy one day is really important. Also, don't over-estimate his happiness. You can't truthfully know how happy he is. 1
Author LoveB86 Posted May 24, 2013 Author Posted May 24, 2013 I've been trying so hard to improve myself. I've been working out as I lost 12lbs... Been going out and living life. However, I can't stop thinking that his life just seems better because everything is going his way while I am left with the shattered pieces. It's like "Hey dumpee, here is your broom, you clean this mess up yourself!" It'll be 2 months pretty soon since they been together and us being NC with one another. I am doing okay, just today was a bad day for me. Just a setback that's all.
Silly Girl924 Posted May 24, 2013 Posted May 24, 2013 Karma is a bitch and beautiful at the same time. Soon, he will realize his new girl isn't that great, and he'll realize money can't buy love. Soon, you'll realize that when someone or something better comes along (and it will sooner than you think you just gotta keep a super open mind, whether its a new guy or a beatiful sunrise), you'll focus your loving energy on that and get what you deserve. Sure it hurts now, but your lesson is to raise your standards. 1
Chi townD Posted May 24, 2013 Posted May 24, 2013 Trust me, his life is not better than yours. I mean, right now he took a stab at your self esteem and your self worth. But, you're forgetting one thing about him. You were the one that got him moving and got him motivated. You were the one that got him off his ass and to get that promotion. If it wasn't for you, his lazy dumbass you still be chilling out and scratching his ass not knowing what he wanted to do. Well, guess what? That support system isn't there anymore (meaning you) and sooner or later, he going to fall back into the same old bad habits and just be satisfied with the status quo. That's where life is going to bite him hard and the karma bus is going to smack him right between the eyes. Your biggest problem is, you took a big blow and you may have stopped loving yourself. Start making those positive changes. Trust me, you'll start feeling better about yourself. And if he's the type of person that's going to use people to get ahead in life, then that's not the kind of people that you want in your life. 1
Author LoveB86 Posted May 24, 2013 Author Posted May 24, 2013 Chi townD- Yesss!! He took a blow to my ego. I lost my self worth and at one point, I was questioning why am I living? To get hurt after hurt after hurt, when will enough be enough! The problem with me is my self esteem since the BU. I feel as if I was devalued in his eyes. That another woman is better than me because he, the chaser, chose to pursue her. Oddly enough, I've never had self esteem problems during the relationship. He trigger something in me and it messed me all up!
Chi townD Posted May 24, 2013 Posted May 24, 2013 There ya go! That's why it's sooo important to use NC in conjunction with making positive changes in your life. You're going to heal and fix yourself! That's what the main goal is! You took a man and built him up. A man that didn't deserve it. I say this a lot around here, but, maybe you're just one more heartbreak away from the guy that you are truely meant to be with. This guy isn't it. There IS a guy out there that's going to love you and cherish everything about you. He's going to consider you his equal and his partner in life. He will support you in every decision you make and you'll show him that same support. He'll never forget to do the small things for you to let you know that you are always part of his life. And, perhaps one day, he'll marry you. I totally believe that this guy is out there and he's trying to find you. That's why you need to make these self improvements and put yourself out there! You'll never know who you'll meet along the way! Get motivated and START HEALING!! You have a wonderful adventure ahead of you. Keep your mind focused on that! 1
Author LoveB86 Posted May 25, 2013 Author Posted May 25, 2013 You took a man and built him up. A man that didn't deserve it. I say this a lot around here, but, maybe you're just one more heartbreak away from the guy that you are truely meant to be with. This guy isn't it. There IS a guy out there that's going to love you and cherish everything about you. He's going to consider you his equal and his partner in life. He will support you in every decision you make and you'll show him that same support. He'll never forget to do the small things for you to let you know that you are always part of his life. And, perhaps one day, he'll marry you. I totally believe that this guy is out there and he's trying to find you. Omg this message literally made me so sad!!! Thank u for reminding me that. Yes, you're absolutely right! I molded him into a Man. A king really.. I bought him so much clothes, sporting events tix, got him breakfast, surprised him with gifts.. I helped him get the position he has now. I loved that man (money or no money), thru thick and thin... Never once he bought me anything. Never made me feel special ever... Oh well.. atleast he knows how to charm his girlfriend with gifts and love like I did for him. Now he knows how .. heh
Pisces13 Posted May 25, 2013 Posted May 25, 2013 I've been trying so hard to improve myself. I've been working out as I lost 12lbs... Been going out and living life. However, I can't stop thinking that his life just seems better because everything is going his way while I am left with the shattered pieces. It's like "Hey dumpee, here is your broom, you clean this mess up yourself!" You're just in a rut, it won't last forever, we all go through them Use this situation as motivation. Take that sadness and anger and use it to better yourself. You need to lose the "poor me" attitude, and make this guy realize that he made the biggest mistake ever by breaking it off with you. Instead of moping around feeling sad and sorry for yourself, better yourself, show him what he is missing out on
Leigh 87 Posted May 25, 2013 Posted May 25, 2013 That is life though. I looked after my ex really well; he needed me to hug him while he slept, even if I had to lay there wide awake. He would call for me if I left he room, bored cos I was just laying there awake; he needed me to "hug him". I looked after him when he got drunk and retarded. Bot wow guess what girl - he IS going to move on and one day find a women who will not do ANY of this cr@P for him, and that he will STILL love a heck of a lot more than he loved me anyways! Do you know why? Because Love had nothing to do with the little or big things we sacrifice or do to support our exes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You can give them the world, but if they do not feel as strongly about you, as you do about them: yes they will leave you for a person who they love more than you, and who does far less for them. Life is just funny like that. It takes some time to find a man who YOU fall madly in love with, and who ALSO falls just in love with you! Once a man meets a girl who really knocks his socks off, sure she needs to treat him well or he will not stick around, however; men will typically put up with a LOT more cr@p from a girl he is TRULY in love with, opposed to a girl who gives him EVERYTHING and he is not all that in love with. It sucks but don't worry, as long as you work to better yourself, you WILL find a guy who loves you as much as you love him. Keep looking, forget your ex, and focus on yourself for now! 1
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