jehcann Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 we're all 22 years old. when i met my bf he was 4/5/6 months single? (they were together 3 yrs) him and his ex had a very horrible and rocky relationship. she cheated on him numerous times, gave him and std, lied, stole things she was a very horrible person to him. when they broke up he/she KNEW it was for the best. when i met my ex i wasnt looking for an relationship and i didnt want one and i made it clear to him. we talked and i just starting falling for him. we got together. we live 2 hours apart we spent about 2/3 weeks together out of every month. (we didnt have jobs) our relationship was everything we needed an relationship to be. i had gotten out of a few sucky relationships and i needed this) at first i was afraid to fully give myself to him but i did it and i was happy. 4 months into it i caught him texting his ex at my house. i felt him talking to her, he went into the shower and took his phone. i texted him and said please dont be talking to another girl dont hurt me like that. what'd he do? ignore me and text her. he took a shower whatever came out and his phone went off i took his phone and the text said "put my number in your phone under jacob" i started balling he texted her and told her to leave him alone. she said she was wanting to "kill" herself and she needed someone to talk to. i got on fb and messaged her saying "look leave him alone you wouldnt want your bf's ex texting him if you need someone to talk to im here" so we started talking i found out they had hung out one day but all he talked about was me and she even told me the great things he said and he had to of said them idk her. i broke up with him he cried and told me how sorry he was and that he didnt do it to hurt me he was being a friend. we worked on things and i forgave him and took him back. when you LOVE someone you do that. a few days later i found these pumps on his penis i said "i laughed and said whats this and std?" he didnt even say anything i started screaming and crying and ran to the shower thinking i could wash it off: i just knew i had it. he told me he didnt tell me because he was so in love with me he didnt want to lose me. somehow we overcame this. everything we had been through made us STRONGER. our relationship finally got to be back where it was but it was better. our relationship began beautiful, real, amazing, powerful just everything you expect a real relationship to be is what we had. when we werent together we showed each other every day how we felt i went out of my way every day to show him how much i loved him. i knew he loved me when i met his family/friends they all told me how much he loved me. i remember one day i was feeling iffy about my ex and i texted his bestfriend and he said look "he loves you, he's in love with you im his bestfriend i know" his family/friends LOVED me they hates his ex. basically to make a long story short our relationship was everything him and his ex didnt have. i was the girl he had never been with im honestly a sweet loving person and his ex was a dirty filthy cheating bitch. we spent Feburary 17-April 25th together we had so much fun, love, memories, good times you name it we had it all. he had to go home because of some family problems. we were both crying right before he left. he didnt want to leave me but he knew he couldnt take me home with him. he went back home and our relationship was just as strong there. he was looking for a job and his mom was stressing him out. he had just lost 2 very important family members a day apart and we had a pregnancy scare. i dont want to sound like im making excuses because im not. his ex popped up i felt it i texted him asking are you talking to her? he said no. on may 9th we had a 6 hour skype conversation it was like we were together. i havent seen him that happy since he was here at my house. that night we fell even more in love with each other. the next day i got my period i texted him and told him he was HAPPY and then outta no where he stopped texting me. he didnt text me again until the 12th. he said im sorry, im going back with my ex. and he left me. our relationship was so beautiful, pure, natural, we always talked about our future, moving in together and being happy. just outta the blue he left me. it's been 11 days of hell without him and idk what to do. im trying so hard to be strong and positive it's just hard. i know he's my soulmate and i know he knows it too. i just dk what happened. i feel everything just came crashing down and he freaked and she brainwashed him into being with her and he left. she tried many many times to get him back but she herself told me "i do not love him, he's not good for me, it'll never work." and now their back together....how can you be with someone for 10+ months and be so in love with them and then just leave them? honestly if you wouldve seen us you wouldve known it was meant to be. it hurts. any advice for me? sorry for typos lol
Quiet Storm Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 I'm sorry this happened to you. Get that soulmate BS out of your head...it will hold you back. I know you believe you would be a better girlfriend to him, and you are probably right. But that doesn't matter. What matters is that he chose to be with her. Unhealthy relationships are often the ones that have the most attraction and the most pull. You have two people with issues that create their own dance of dysfunction. The constant ups and downs, the fights, the making up, all of it results in a long, continuing drama that can be very addictive. The feelings are often very passionate and intense. It is unhealthy. Often the two involved realize it is unhealthy, but they don't care. Your ex was in a relationship with her for three years. The way you describe it, it was not a good relationship. She cheated, gave him STD, stole from him. The fact that he stayed with this woman for three years shows that he has issues. He may be codependent. He may be just as screwed up as she is. Either way, it sounds like he gave up a sweet, caring, stable girlfriend for someone that cheated, lied & stole from him. Do you really want to be with someone that values someone with such poor character? What does that say about him? He knew he had an STD and slept with you anyway. WHAT DOES THAT SAY ABOUT HIM? I think you dodged a bullet here. He may come back for you next time she cheats on him, but please do not get involved again. You do not want to be his second choice. Accept that he made his decision. You won't be able to make sense of it because it's not logical. It sucks for you, but you will get over it. You will be okay. Instead of looking at it like "I was rejected and dumped by my soulmate", think "I'm no longer being held back by someone that lied to me, put my health at risk, and has emotional issues." You are better off without him, and in time you will realize that. 4
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