thr1986 Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 I'm a 26 yr old young professional type living in a city. I'm a good looking guy, tall, dark hair, stylish but sometimes lack confidence only upon first meeting women mainly if they intimidate me. My personality is that of just a very nice polite guy. I'm not as good at the flirting games as I'd like to be. ANYWAYS... There is a coffee shop/boutique that I have just started going to, only been twice and in the boutique portion there is a very attractive girl. She seems just my type, very modern, very pretty, trendy, ect.... I bought something there today honestly just to try and talk to her while she wrapped it up and I checked out and paid for it. I just complemented the store to her and said I liked what they had, she said thank you and I then introduced myself and she said nice to meet you. What is the best way for me to reapproach her and ask her out on some sort of engagement where I can talk with her more. I don't want to come off creepy, as I explained we dont know each other at all. Any tips?
SuperGeek Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 (edited) So here is my mid 30s advice: #1 Get coffee or whatever a few more times and make it a point to talk to her a bit and ask her questions. Try to show her you are interested by asking questions. DONT over do it. Also look at her body language and note whether or not she makes eye contact. You can usually know right away if a girl is into you or not just by paying attention to body language. You need to know she has interest in you at some basic level -- it all starts with the girl. #2 After you do #1 a few times, then try and ask her out for a quick drink (not dinner!!!!) down the street at a pub after she gets off work. One question you can ask with #1 above is when her day is over, which is a great lead in to asking her out for a drink. You have to do #1 enough times or your attempt will fail miserably. You will know when to do this usually by paying attention to body language. #3 If she turns you down, maintain your confidence. Make it sound like no big deal if she does turn you down. Go into the shop and get coffee again after that a few days later and see if she takes more notice of you. Make it a point to joke around and stuff which can smooth out the fact that you got shot down in flames. Realize I'm not a professional at this, I have stopped dating, I have removed myself from all OLD sites. I am personally sick of dating and tired of the game right now. The above has worked for me in the past, but realize there are probably 50 other guys trying the SAME THING on the SAME GIRL. So you have competition, especially in a big city. My ex ex was a barista so I know the type very well. Edited May 23, 2013 by SuperGeek
Author thr1986 Posted May 23, 2013 Author Posted May 23, 2013 I took notice of her body language today. I was attempting for strong eye contact but she did not give back that prolonged direct eye contact we all know means she's interested. She was very "matter of fact" and spent most of the time looking down at the register. She did make brief eye contact but its hard to tell if she was nervous. I think it was somewhat apparent that I was interested but I'm not overly forward at all so if she did pick up on it, she definitely interpreted it as a polite, gentlemanly interest. I'm sure he gets hit on all the time, she almost acted like she was expecting to get hit on and tried to minimize contact based on the assumption. I guess it's possible that she may have been nervous? What do you think? I'm not the cocky type. I will say however (only because its the Internet, I'd never say this in person to anyone) that I am a very handsome guy, but like I said I'm very nice. My ex girlfriend always described me as being such a gentleman. Are girls attracted to nice guys? And what are your thoughts on her body language that I described above?
Jane2011 Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 I'd say that if you can tell she otherwise has a very confident, outgoing, unreserved personality but was "looking down at the register" while processing your transaction, she may not be interested. But if she seems like a reserved, shyer type in general, she may have just been nervous. Looking down at the register can have a cold vibe or a nervous vibe, so it's hard to say. I'm in my 30s and female, but when I was in my early and mid-20s (is that her age?), I was much shyer about a guy seeming to "like" me. I was self-conscicous even though I was generally pretty (wore glasses, though, and felt nerdy in some ways). Also, even though you're good-looking, you may or may not be her type. That doesn't mean there's no hope, though. Women often require liking your personality/demeanor in combination with your looks. So...to me it seems like there's still some hope, but there's not enough to go on at this point unless you know her personality pretty well.
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