matt29 Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 Hi everyone! We met when she was 17 and I was 18, we sort of took everyday as it came and before we knew it 1,2,3,4,5,6 years went by without any break or even really any fighting. We just enjoyed each others company. We never really went out and met people or socialised we spent most of our time together. We have our groups of friends which we'd go out for dinner with occasionally and parties etc etc but majority of the weekends we spend together. After 5 years we brought our first house together and after 6 years we got engaged! We loved and cared about each other as much as two people can (well that's what I thought) 6 months after our engagement she started acting weird.. suddenly!! One night when I got home from work I decided to grab her phone and look trough it. That's when it all started. She didn't want me to look at her phone. A guy from her work had started messaging her and she had been replying. I couldn't believe this was happening, I never expected it from her. I never read the messages I just took her word for it as to what was said. Apparently this guy had been telling her he'd never felt like this about anyone, he wanted to take her overseas, wanted to take her to do all these things that id never taken her to do and he's also invited her over to his house. apparently there was some suggestive things said. Anyway I forgave her and tried to work on our relationship. It was good for two weeks then it just went down hill. She started asking for space, telling me I was to clingy and needy. She started going out every weekend and turning her phone off, saying she was with girlfriends from work (that id never met) and that she turned her phone off because she wanted space. Anyway this went on for weeks and I just kept putting up with it, to prove to her that I could change my ways and be less controlling and less clingy. Then things started to get worse. We started off sleeping in separate beds and I was catching her out in lies about who she was with and where she was. I also found things like mints in her handbag etc etc. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to work out what has been going on. But she just kept denying and denying. Four weeks after I found out about the messaging with this guy (which apparently only went on for a week) She left to go to her parents house for a few days, requesting more space. Exactly one week later she ended our relationship! There was nothing I could say or do, just very hard to accept that the woman I loved and the woman that once loved me could suddenly change and leave. We had the wedding planned and everything. I never even got a proper reason from her, Except for that her life with me was going to be boring, she wants to go out and meet new people and experience different things etc etc. She never made it out to me that this is what she wanted!! I'll admit our relationship did become comfortable and I had suffered from depression so obviously id become less attractive which probably contributed to her decision to leave, but she never gave me or us a chance to fix our relationship!! And now I don't know if she has left me to be with this other guy or what!? Our house is already on the market to be sold, since the breakup she has gone full steam ahead with her new life (out every weekend, meeting new people, tyring new things) which is good because I want her to be happy but it seems as though she has completely forgotten about us and my feelings!! Its like she hates me, she doesn't want to see or talk to me, I cant talk about what happened with our relationship because she just walks away and wont talk. I guess ill never get closure.. I know I can move on, im a confident attractive guy and I know what I want in life, just hurts so much to have someone you love so much turn around and leave so quickly without a proper reason, and for it to happen so quickly!!! What does everyone think? Will she come crawling back one day? or gone for good? I'm moving on with my life (as hard as it is) I just feel like its unfair that she's caused me so much pain and she seems as though its the best decision of her life! I just want her to feel the pain that ive had to feel. for seven years I loved this woman and did everything I possibly could to keep her happy. And I would have done anything for her. And now she's gone!! in a matter of weeks.. Opinion on the whole situation wuld be great. Thanks guys!
Chi townD Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 Sorry dude, She values socializing and partying more than you. And, yes, she was cheating on you. When a person asks for more space, it's usually to be with another person without having to worry about you being around. This is the kind of person she has turned into. But, here's the rub, you met and dated when you were 17 and 18. Well, when we mature and head into young adulthood in our twenties, we tend to want different things in life. So, it doesn't surprise me that this relationship is ending. The reason way she's acting like she hates you is because she has to demonize you in her mind so she can justify to herself why she's leaving and not feel guilty about it. So, the best thing you can do is to move on. And I know it's going to be hard after 7 years. But, you have to. You need to go NC on her. Completely dark. If she emails you, texts you or tries to phone you, IGNORE IT!!! Remember, she wanted you out of her life, so she has no business contacting you. Ignore it. Post here instead. You need to BLOCK HER ON FACEBOOK!!! If there is another guy, it's only a matter of time before she starts posting pics of them together on it and you don't need to see that. Or pics of her out on the town having a blast while you're dying inside. So, relieve yourself of that burden. Do not contact her! If you feel like you have to, post here instead. People will be here to talk you through it. 1
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