Her teenage daughter asked me for money?

[Hoshi]

Hi all. So I've been lodging in a house with a lady and her daughter (plus one other lodger) since the beginning of this month. Everything's been going ok so far but money has been a real worry for me at this time. I've been claiming benefits in order to pay for my rent, as well as things like food, toiletries, etc. I can literally barely afford to do anything else, and even any spare money I might have has had to be used on various repayments that have been popping up, causing a lot of strain on my already empty purse and my anxiety levels.

 

Now the daughter of my landlady is 18, a typical rebellious teenager who her mum's always ranting over and I honestly do see her disrespecting her mum a lot in ways that I would be annoyed over if it were me (I know it's not my business but I can't help thinking).

 

The daughter has left college and isn't working either so she's pretty much at home most of the time, same as me until I find work, and I constantly hear her arguing with her mum about lending her money to go into town or for bus fare to see her boyfriend. She was on jobseeker's before, apparantely, but the landlady mentioned to me that she was cut off because she kept missing her appointments, and then never bothered to reclaim. When I moved in, I offered to help the daughter with filling out all the relevant forms etc, because I knew the system already and it was pretty easy to show her what to do. So we did that together, she got her new claim up and running, bob's your uncle.

 

But still my landlady expressed concern to me that she expected her daughter would probably just get one payment off of them to keep her going, and then not bother showing up again. Anyway that's her issue I thought, I've done what I can to help.

 

Fast forward to last night, I was having a chat with my landlady when her phone rings, and she picks up and starts having a kiniption to the person on the other end then abruptly cuts off. When I asked what that was about she told me that her daughter was supposed to be going to a dentist appointment that morning, her mum had called her from work to make sure she was up on time and ready and that she was leaving the house, the daughter saying yes, yes, I'm going now, the whole time, her mum had even given her bus money to get there and back. And turns out she never went. She'd gone to spend the day at her boyfriend's house and then called late in the evening to ask her mum if she could pick her up!! because apparentely she didn't have the bus fare and it was about an hour walk home!

 

Well her mum obviously was fuming and told her she could damn well walk home since she made the decision to go there and lie to her. Anyway I went to bed shortly after that, and this morning I hear someone come to knock on my bedroom door. I thought it might be the daughter asking for something silly so I ignored it but she kept knocking so I answered and the first thing she asked me was 'can I borrow a few quid to get the bus to my boyfriend's house'. I was genuinely shocked she would ask me that as we don't really know each other all too well and she knows I'm only on jobseeker's myself, not to mention I have all the financial commitments of an independent single tenant and she does not.

 

Anyway I just gave her a couple of pounds to get her out of the house because I wanted some piece and quiet from her blaring music and door slamming anyway. I'm honestly fuming about it! She did say she would pay me back as soon as she got her jobseeker's money but who even knows. And she even said to me 'Oh don't tell my mum you lent me money or she'll go skitz lolol'.

 

What the hell!!

Edited May 23, 2013 by Hoshi

[will1988]

Now this little leach will come back and ask you for more money in the future. Money that you do not have. Money that you do not owe her. Now you are her free go to emergency fund. Your landlady's daughter is not your problem. I would bring it up with her mother and ask her mother to control her daughter. However, if you are looking for some decent money that may take a while, you could always go after your land lady in civil court for breaching the lease contract. I'm sure there is some law in the UK that specifies that landowners or their family cannot ask for money outside of what is related to rent, up-keep, and utilities (pretty much anything not in the contract). Maybe. That of course is a low move, so I don't recomend it, I'm just throwing it out there as an idea. You should also tell the daughter that this cherity was a one time thing, and will not happen again under any circumstances. If you do not put your foot down, she will take advantage of you.

 

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Now, of course, if she is hot and you are a guy or a lesbian, then maybe you can make some other arangements

[Ursa]

Anyway I just gave her a couple of pounds to get her out of the house because I wanted some piece and quiet from her blaring music and door slamming anyway. I'm honestly fuming about it! She did say she would pay me back as soon as she got her jobseeker's money but who even knows. And she even said to me 'Oh don't tell my mum you lent me money or she'll go skitz lolol'.

 

What the hell!!

 

 

The girl is a user and this is how she exists, like a parasite. She is also quite young, so hopefully someday she will get some pride and some motivation and make something more of herself...however, it is not up to you to facilitate this transition, it's up to her.

 

It's nice that you have offered to help her in her job search. Stick to that kind of help, if you are still willing, but you have zero obligation to keep doing it, especially now that the daughter has proved that she is turning her "leech-gaze" onto you.

 

Giving her money was a mistake. She will definitely come crawling around again, looking for more, that's just what users do. Definitely don't give her any more, and honestly, I'd tell the landlady/mom. For one thing, if the daughter decides to get vindictive next time you refuse to give her any more dosh, and spread lies about you to your landlady, you will be able to point to a viable reason the mom already knows about as to why the daughter might have it out for you. And do NOT continue to get into the business of your landlady and her offspring. This is where you live, you don't want to get involved in anything messy that could end up with you out on the street.