OwlSoul Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 So yeah, we're now officially got back together as a couple. I was the dumpee. We were broken up for 4 months, were seeing each other for the last 1.5 months before the reconcilation. I did NC only the first week, then we kept on light-contact. Here is my former thread where I was sharing my thoughts and steps when I was working towards getting back. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/382801-way-i-decided-do I personally believe it is possible to get the love back to a relationship. It is just burried under the insecurities and other issues any couple faces. When those are resolved/or being resolved, the feelings come back. Most people would say it should be only the dumper who would be touching the topic of the reconcilation and doing the first steps. Well, I do believe both sides are equally responsible for this to happen. 3
TaraMaiden Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 My personal opinion is that if a reconciliation is this 'easy' then the original 'cause' of the break-up was something that could have just as 'easily' been resolved at the time of the break-up, but in all likelihood, the dumper was either too stubborn or proud to do that. I see this particular situation more of you succeeding in making him see sense, rather than a complete turnaround... In any case, I am genuinely pleased for you, and hope things go from good to better! Thumbs up! 1
Author OwlSoul Posted May 24, 2013 Author Posted May 24, 2013 (edited) Ok, now I have a free minute to respond. I'd like to say that it was not that 'easy'. I wouldn't say the dumper was too proud. Since he tried to get back with me 3 weeks later of the break-up, admitting he made a huge mistake, callig himself an idiot and that he loves me. Guess, it didn't work at the time because I was the same person and did not change that much. He did not change either. So the issue was still there. I have lost about 55 lbs doing 2-3 hours of work outs, swimming and jogging on a daily basis for 4 months + dieting. I was not doing it for the sake of returning my ex/boyfriend (he fell in love with me when I was weiting 55 lbs more than now anyways), but rather to get used to the daily routine without the person/rise my self-confidence/get occupied that much that I would not spend days in licking my wounds and whinning. Obviously, as my look and weight started changing, I started getting new wardrobe. Actually, i've changed a lot. When I got back to my homecountry, people could not recognize me at all I started getting involved to some design/game development projects outside of my university. Currently I'm leading the team of 3 artists doing the artwork for the game. Which also makes me really occupied and really enjoy myself. Also, I started seeing my friends and talking to them a way more often than before. Going out and etc. Meanwhile I'm reading quite a lot of books about the balancing my emotional life. It is hard to keep it that way, btw. But every time when I start getting lazy, everything, even my personal life start going down. Edited May 24, 2013 by OwlSoul
TaraMaiden Posted May 24, 2013 Posted May 24, 2013 Ok, now I have a free minute to respond. I'd like to say that it was not that 'easy'. I wouldn't say the dumper was too proud. Since he tried to get back with me 3 weeks later of the break-up, admitting he made a huge mistake, callig himself an idiot and that he loves me. Guess, it didn't work at the time because I was the same person and did not change that much. He did not change either. So the issue was still there. I have lost about 55 lbs doing 2-3 hours of work outs, swimming and jogging on a daily basis for 4 months + dieting. I was not doing it for the sake of returning my ex/boyfriend (he fell in love with me when I was weiting 55 lbs more than now anyways), but rather to get used to the daily routine without the person/rise my self-confidence/get occupied that much that I would not spend days in licking my wounds and whinning. Obviously, as my look and weight started changing, I started getting new wardrobe. Actually, i've changed a lot. When I got back to my homecountry, people could not recognize me at all I started getting involved to some design/game development projects outside of my university. Currently I'm leading the team of 3 artists doing the artwork for the game. Which also makes me really occupied and really enjoy myself. Also, I started seeing my friends and talking to them a way more often than before. Going out and etc. Meanwhile I'm reading quite a lot of books about the balancing my emotional life. It is hard to keep it that way, btw. But every time when I start getting lazy, everything, even my personal life start going down. What changes have you seen in him? And everything you have implemented has obvioulsy been of enormous benefit to your self-development, but what strategy have you (both) implemented to ensure you do not fall into the same traps again? I'm not being challenging or provocative; I'm genuinely interested.
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