Adunaphel Posted October 5, 2004 Posted October 5, 2004 I was dumped via text message once. It is a pretty hurtful way to be dumped. I was basically dumped because I didn't allow him to play games with me. He played games with me, I showed him I could do the same, and better. I was younger and I hadn't still realized what a poor excuse for a human being this guy was (among other things, he thought men were better than women, he was a racist, and he was *very* insensitive and childish) so I felt really bad for a lot of time after he dumped me that way. My bf and I have an history of dumping each other and getting back together, but I am strongly hoping we won't continue this tradition. It usually happened on the phone -we live in two different towns- but we would see in person on the weekend to discuss things farther, perhaps to do some yelling and crying, and we'd end up making love and -most of the times- getting back together on that very same week-end. I genuinely *don't* enjoy this drama. It is very distressful.
soooooooooooooooosad Posted October 5, 2004 Posted October 5, 2004 Last f*cking night!!!!!!! We haven't been out in years so I was a little nervous when he told me we were going for dinner. I thought he was finally going to pop the question so I dressed up..and I'm crying as I'm writing this, I dressed up and he picks me up looking gorgeous, he even got a haircut and we get there and he proceeds to tell me that it's just not working out anymore and that he thinks we should see "other" (ot-HER) people. Whyyy? How could he do this to me. We had been together for four years and we live together and now I'm all alone, I have nowhere to live, and he doesn't even care. I stayed at my mothers last night, I feel like I want to die. I can't eat or sleep and my eyes and lips are swollen from endlessly replaying the same scene in my head and crying about it. I was good to him.I bought him anything he wanted.I never complained of a headache and gave it to him everytime he wanted it. I cooked and cleaned and sure we argued but who doesn't? He hasn't called all night or this morning.I'm home can't go into work like this.called in sick.Sick is not even the word.can you say dying and feeling like a black hole just came over you and your sinking faster and faster and theres no way out no matter how hard you try? I hate him. I just need a bed. I want to sleep and never wake up.
Jilly10340 Posted October 5, 2004 Posted October 5, 2004 What an a$$. For the life of me I don't why guys do that. They take you out to a nice dinner just so they can dump you. Do they try to balance the happy with the sad? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Like you really want to eat after you boyfriend breaking up with you. I can't even try to understand that. I'm really sorry.
EC Posted October 5, 2004 Posted October 5, 2004 I'm so sorry soooosad.. I hope he realizes his mistake before he loses you....
dizi Posted October 5, 2004 Posted October 5, 2004 Soooosad, I feel like crying for you! Heck, I am! You live together but now you have nowhere to live? Isn't it your house too? Do you have things that you need to get? Can you stay with your mom for a bit?? Get up - (well, not today-get some sleep!) put on some makeup and smile because you're free and you have to show him that he's not worth your tears. Look at how he broke up with you! Like Jilly said-I mean, C'mawn! I know it's easier said than done, but as far as I'm concerned that guy is scum. 4 years together, you think he might propose and he does this sh*t. I am soooo sorry. Hopefully he will figure out that he's made a stupid mistake before he makes a bigger one...But I think you can probably find a guy with a bit more class...I'm bitter. Take care, sweetie...
tokyo Posted October 5, 2004 Posted October 5, 2004 Soooooosad, I´m really sorry for you, sweetie. I hope you find someone nice soon.Don´t give up even if you want to die right now. I know how it feels when you feel so bad that the only thing you want to do is stay in bed, under your blanket and never wanting to see anybody again for the rest of your life. But it will pass, sometimes it takes awfully much time, but eventually it will pass and you will find so many other nice people that you will have trouble making up your mind.
soooooooooooooooosad Posted October 5, 2004 Posted October 5, 2004 I'm so miserable..I'm even having trouble breathing.I feel like my heart is literaly falling to pieces. I trusted him.I saw my life with him.i saw my future little girl with his nose.What am I supposed to do now? I'm lost.hurt.confused. Nothing makes sense. Just the thought of having to start over from scratch after I had everything figured out is killing me. I can't be with anybody else.He was the one.I can't even picture kissing or being with anyone else.Or the thought of him being with someone else just makes me want to die again and again. I can't take this pain. I just can't. Thanks for your posts.They really do help just knowing someone can understand.We lived in an apartment together.I'm keeping it he can go and get the he** on! he still hasnt called.but I dont even know what to say if he does. im just so ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.. i'm sorry...i need to get out..i'm going for a walk.
magda Posted October 5, 2004 Posted October 5, 2004 Originally posted by Jilly10340 For the life of me I don't why guys do that. They take you out to a nice dinner just so they can dump you. Do they try to balance the happy with the sad? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Like you really want to eat after you boyfriend breaking up with you. So you don't cause a "scene". I've broken up with guys that way. It really helps get across the finality of the relationship in a calm and rational way. Don't have to worry so much about begging or arguing about whose fault things are.
tokyo Posted October 5, 2004 Posted October 5, 2004 Aww, you´ll sure find someone again. Even if it takes years (look at me... ), you´ll find someone again. Honestly, I think you were a bit too nice and that´s what people never really appreciate, you need your own life and you must focus less on your partner. He´s not your god.
neptoon Posted October 6, 2004 Posted October 6, 2004 Soooosad, I know the pain you're going through. It's intense. It's the worst feeling in the world. I know this will be of little consequence to you right now but him seeing "ot-HER" people doesn't have a lot to do with you. I mean it is HE who has a problem. Regardless of how much he begs from this point on, know that you now choose not to get back together with him. Why? Because he's garbage. Once you find out that a person can just bail like that -- what's the point in ever wanting them back? Yes, there will be pain but you must remember that you can't take him back no matter what. And if that other woman knew about you all along...shame on her. Believe it or not, there are women out there who get their little ego kicks from making guys leave their gf's, only to dump the guy 3-4 months later. I say this because this has happened to me more than once and the guy ALWAYS tries to go back after the novelty has worn off. Save yourself more future heartache, don't take him back...no matter how sorry he says he was, no matter how wrong he says he was. Why do I say it's an ego trip for the woman? Why would she want a guy who can be taken away? It will always be in the back of her mind. By the time he discovers this, I hope you are long gone and happy with a someone who's in it for the long haul. Living well is the best revenge. I was devastated when it happened to me -- in fact, what happened to you sounds like the exact same thing that happened to me, except mine happened just after 5 years. He broke up with me and I moved back to my mom's place for a few weeks until I got another place -- meanwhile, the place was under my name and he hadn't paid me his share of the rent for months. I, too, did everything for this guy. Never again. Since then, I've learned the value of equal contribution to the relationship by BOTH partners....if he doesn't have to work for the relationship, he will neither respect it nor feel it has any value to him. If you can, try to find another place -- it makes it easier to change environments during such a big change. You don't really want to be in a place where it will remind you of him. This is your chance to begin your life again.
gwennebe Posted October 11, 2004 Posted October 11, 2004 Hello everyone, I just had to let you all know that the guy I was talking about in this thread that completely went missing.... I ran into him on Sat. night and he's back in town. Well was in town for the weekend and will be back for good on Wednesday. I at least got to hear his story because at first I just acted uninterested in having him explain anything so he insisted he give me an explanation because I made him feel like suck an a** for being nice to him. He expected me to be really pissy to him but I don't play that game. Then he got on his knees and begged me to give him a second chance. So I don't know what will happen now. I'm very afraid but at the same time excited. I guess it's worth a second chance and if he does it again I will never speak to him again no matter what. Wish me luck!! I just had to share this story since I was talking about him earlier.
abbyroadme Posted October 13, 2004 Posted October 13, 2004 It was on my AIM while I was away at college.
GirlDown Posted October 13, 2004 Posted October 13, 2004 this is an anonymous thing... and, okay, well maybe this guy deserved it, we don't know what he did, if anything.... BUT THANK YOUR LUCKY STARS THIS DIDN'T HAPPEN TO YOU!!!! "So I had a girlfriend for all of 9 months. She dropped by one afternoon when I was sick with a pan of brownies and a video tape with the simpsons on it (my favorite show). so I start eating the brownies and turn on the tape. midway through it, it cuts to her sucking off some dude. he nuts in her mouth, she looks at the camera, and says "you're dumped. enjoy the brownies" - and spits the mouthful of cum into a bowl of brownie mix. ****ed up huh? I want to die."
CurlyIam Posted October 13, 2004 Posted October 13, 2004 I think I was 16. He was the only black boy in my town at the time and I was nuts about him. He told me he needed time to get more into school, practice (basketball) and his modelling career. Well, turn out he did make some space for his recently arrived into town classmate (I think thy were even desk mates). The girl was also black. Also the only one in our town. I mean what are the chances of that happening? She was transfered to my town, to his highschool, to his class! Of course, he dumped her sorry a$$ after one month. Kinda tried to sway back to me... No way, mister, I'm not having leftovers! That cured me also of interracial dating. The only time a guy left me. As far as I remember.
snilljente Posted October 13, 2004 Posted October 13, 2004 He never had the decency to break it off...as a matter of fact, I asked him several times if this was what was going on ...he said no,,,,he had a ton of stress due to a pretty serious situation which he had already told me about....he kept telling me that he missed me, that he cared, but he was just "trying to get through right now" and then I found out that he had been seeing someone else......I still feel dead inside when I think about the level of deceit....I mean, he told me he was suffering and just trying to get by...me and my family were praying that he would make it through a rough time and the WHOLE TIME HE WAS WITH HER......It still makes me sick to my stomach......I am 35, divorced and really thought I had met the ONE...he treated me like gold before he did all of this......WTF??!!!
Jai Posted October 26, 2004 Posted October 26, 2004 My ex dumped me over the phone after making plans for Canada Day which was the next day. Imagine spending 2 hours trying to figure out what to do that might be interesting and as soon as you make plans you get broken up with. Sometimes I try to figure out what is going through people's heads when they do this but then I become confused and say F**K . I will never understand people's brains sometimes. Jai
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