magneet Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 Hi all I will keep it short. I am a love and romance addict. [as research indicates, became this way for whichever reasons and I am in therapy for a few things which has been improving a lot]. However, my ex gf and I dated for 3 years, broken up for 18 months now - still in contact, still sleep together, but are not officially back together. Nor does she want to be as she doesnt want to be intimate with me - she feels there is no passion. I can't let go, as we are stuck in the cycle. Of she running after me, me allowing her in, then she withdraws, then I pursue her [and become needy in her eyes] and then I withdraw and then the cycle starts again. When she does contact me after being so cold its as if nothing has happenend and just carries on. It kills me. Im 28, she is 27. And other girls can't keep their hands of me - so thats not the problem. I really love her - and would like to marry her, or be with her, but don't want to be the surrogate boyfriend or be in a sexless relationship either... Then I meet a girl who is sweet and fall in love with sweetness, what I don't get from her... Somehow I realised she wants me to be like her dad [whom she dispises but works hard - and even when we dated it felt like we were in the same relationsip as what their parents were.] Bottom line - how do I: A] Fix this bad cycle? B] Know whether to move on or try [in addition, I don't have family - she fills the family part hence being the most important person to me as well]. C] Know what to do??? She calls me everyday, for 3 weeks and then one week not. She want to go on vacation with me, again, but I don't see the point of doing that if we are not dating...
Author magneet Posted May 23, 2013 Author Posted May 23, 2013 by walking away... right? "detach" so to speak.. 1
Author magneet Posted May 23, 2013 Author Posted May 23, 2013 hahahaha - deep down I know it. Especially in the recent few weeks... its just the total opposite of what I expected. [i mean, I thought we were on our way back together how things progressed the last few months, and then BAM one week of coldness, then telling me she doesnt want to - but only be friends, and then contacting me again]... I know I am scared, feel as if I am not ready to let go [how cliche I know]... Bottom line, it really sucks lol... and everybody is in the same boat. Help for strengethenign or making it easier?
Author magneet Posted May 23, 2013 Author Posted May 23, 2013 thanks so much - new hobby, keeping mind busy and excercise - three things on my mind either way. i should prob prove my willpower to myself as well. usually i just run away and relocate, last time i went overseas - but the troubles always follow- i did put 2013 out to be the year on focusing on myself. strengthening myself. improving myself. and getting on the right track [ie, stop over indulging in booze at night]...
Author magneet Posted May 23, 2013 Author Posted May 23, 2013 thanks for the wise and kind words will def look into it, hell, i have started studying again part time, got myself a new car and even moving into a new place - new life, why not throw that emotional part/change in there as well As you said, this is a good time as any 1
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