almostthere002 Posted October 1, 2004 Posted October 1, 2004 Ok...I am in a relatinship now of 6 months with someone that I really do think after a few bumps and hurdles are over and done with could last a while if not develope into moving into together. one major major drawback. I go over there every night except wednesdays and thursdays at 8pm and spend the night leaving at 7am the next morning. i have 2 young children that i dont feel he is interested in and i am starting to feel he thinks are burdens on the relationship because if i dont have a sitter then i cant go out. i live with my mom so almost every night i have one. i truly believe as time goes on that the children will not be any problem to him because he says he doesnt mind i have them only complains about the fact i dont have a sitter on the nights that i cant go out. but i am with him 5 of 7 days. longer on the weekends because theyre with their dad. ok...so the half of it. i moved out 2 years ago from my ex. we talk about getting back together but since some much has happened in the way of relationships to other people for both of us he cant seem to work through that and be nice to me alot of the time even though i know inside he is dying to be a family again. im 50/50 as to if it would work and scared to death to think our divorce will be final in the next few weeks. he has become a better dad and hopefully more responisible as i see now. but it has taken all this time to happen. im thinking of ditching my current bf for one more shot at my husband who i have been with for 9 years. married for 6 years. do you think it can work when two people give it another shot. i know it all depends on the effort put in but it would be helpful to hear from people in situations like mine. all i care about is the wellbeing of my children which is why my current bf is not exactly turning up high on my list. but im afraid to move back home and have to deal with everything i did already and move back out and have the kids go through this again. i know no one can tell me what to do. im not asking for that im just asking this because im scared to death of having a repeat even though im not sure it would. can you fall inlove with someone after not being inlove with them for this long? i love him but not inlove with him. if you know what i mean. i guess thats it for now. thanks for your time.
Merin Posted October 2, 2004 Posted October 2, 2004 Well to begin with, NEVER date ANYONE who doesn't accept your little people. Someone who doesn't accept that you have kids isn't a drawback... it's a deal breaker. Honestly, I think you're afraid to be alone. You've been with this other guy for 6 months, while still married to your husband (I'm sure you've been seperated) but the point is... in 6 months it didn't occur to you to try to work on the marriage until now, and I think the reason is, your divorce is now in a few weeks and that like death... is final. You're talking about how things could potentially move forward with this other guy you've been seeing, but I think you know deep down, that isn't going to happen because he cannot accept that you have little people... again kind of scary, because it would mean being on your own. I understand that the idea of being a single mom can be very scary... because I'm a single mom myself. However, staying with someone out of fear regardless if it's your husband whom your not in love with OR this other guy (whom I would venture to guess your also not in love with) isn't productive or good for anyone. Try being on your own for awhile... figure out who you are now and what you want and need to really be happy with yourself. Focus on the little people... Don't make bad choices out of fear. You will be okay;)
Recommended Posts