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Men: Do you keep paying for dates if you aren't TOO interested/keen on the woman?

prettypeach20

By prettypeach20
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prettypeach20 Member

prettypeach20

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Dear men,

Would you keep paying for dates if you were casually dating a girl (who was nice) but you weren't too into her/keen/see long term potential with her??

 

I am currently in a situation where I am confused about a guys intensions - we started off seeing each other once a week and now its every other week. Yet, he texts me and pays for all of our dates (I offer but he dosen't let me).

will1988 Established Member

will1988

Posted
Posted

Well that is kind of odd.... you are getting the vibe that he is not in to you, yet he still keeps wanting to take you out? That is weird.

 

Personally, I pay for the dates regardless of how bad or good it went, even if the sparks don't ignite and it was both the first and last date. However, with that being said, I also would not go on another date with someone that I am not interested in. Which is why your situation, at least IMO, is confusing.

 

Have you put out yet with him? Maybe he is not interested in you, but thinks if he strings you along you may throw your self at him and he will get laid. It could be that the prospect of having sex with someone who he may not be in to, is better than having sex with no one at all. That may be his way of think. Or maybe he keeps going on these dates hoping to bust you out of your shell, or vice versa, because he wants there to be a connection. Who knows.

 

The one question you need to be asking, and this is more of an asking yourself kind of question, is as follows... Are you interested in him? If not, then stop going on dates with him.

Treasa Established Member

Treasa

Posted
Posted

Ha, I'd love to find a guy like that. I'd probably force him to let me pay my share, but if he insisted....ok, that's cool. ;)

 

And I only have to see him once every couple of weeks? Perfect.

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carhill Established Member

carhill

Posted
Posted
Would you keep paying for dates if you were casually dating a girl (who was nice) but you weren't too into her/keen/see long term potential with her??

 

I'd stop dating her if I felt that way. If I'm asking her on dates, I'm paying, so I have a vested interest in my interest.

  • Like 4
BluEyeL Established Member

BluEyeL

Posted
Posted

If he keeps coming around, he is interested. Now, he could be interested in a casual relationship, i.e. not progressing into a serious one. It's important to know if you two had sex or not.

FitChick Established Member

FitChick

Posted
Posted

It sounds like he is dating someone else on alternate weeks or keeping his options open.

  • Like 1
musemaj11 Established Member

musemaj11

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Does he have good money?

 

If yes then I guess he is juggling multiple women at the same time because he can afford to do so.

 

He is a smart who knows how to use his resources well instead of putting it all in one basket.

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prettypeach20 Member

prettypeach20

Posted
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Nope we have not had sex! He didn't even try to kiss me until the 3rd date, and we made out on the 5th and 6th (in his car). He never did try to invite me over to his place or anything!

 

I met him 2 months ago: he asked me out on dates 1 and 2 (1 week apart), then I went on vacation for 2 weeks. He asked me out for date 3 the week after I came back and on date 4 the following week. I asked him out on date 5 the week after.

Date 5 was amazing so I thought he'd ask me out on date 6 the following week but he didn't so towards the end of the week I asked him if he wanted to do something over the weekend. He told me he had plans but suggested we see each other next week and texted me to schedule a date (date 6).

Date 6 was last Friday (went well again) but he didn't schedule anything for this week. However, we did see each other yesterday and chatted for about 20 mins (he's a trainer at my local gym so I see him quite frequently when I go to the gym).

So far, he has not mentioned getting together next week either....but every time we talk he keeps telling me he is stressed out planning his mom's bday and brother's bachelor party - both happening in 2 weeks!

BluEyeL Established Member

BluEyeL

Posted
Posted
Nope we have not had sex! He didn't even try to kiss me until the 3rd date, and we made out on the 5th and 6th (in his car). He never did try to invite me over to his place or anything!

 

I met him 2 months ago: he asked me out on dates 1 and 2 (1 week apart), then I went on vacation for 2 weeks. He asked me out for date 3 the week after I came back and on date 4 the following week. I asked him out on date 5 the week after.

Date 5 was amazing so I thought he'd ask me out on date 6 the following week but he didn't so towards the end of the week I asked him if he wanted to do something over the weekend. He told me he had plans but suggested we see each other next week and texted me to schedule a date (date 6).

Date 6 was last Friday (went well again) but he didn't schedule anything for this week. However, we did see each other yesterday and chatted for about 20 mins (he's a trainer at my local gym so I see him quite frequently when I go to the gym).

So far, he has not mentioned getting together next week either....but every time we talk he keeps telling me he is stressed out planning his mom's bday and brother's bachelor party - both happening in 2 weeks!

 

OK, I cannot be sure, but what I THINK happened is that he lost interest after date 4. I think you should pull back, do not ask him out again, do not ask him what's going on. I know that might be almost impossible to do, but if you keep badgering him, I guarantee it'll not go anywhere and you'll only get more attached and hurt longer when this is not going to work out. Pull back, you showed enough interest, maybe too much interest. If he is still interested, he'll reach out to you again, even if after a while. If he's not reaching out, he's not interested. I've done every mistake in the book, when you show too much interest is never working.

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prettypeach20 Member

prettypeach20

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hmmm what makes you think he lost interest after date 4??

He went away for half the week right after date 4 and came back mid week (tuesday) and on the Wednesday I asked him if he wanted to do something on Friday of that week to which he replied: sure! and then he proceeded to plan it all.

The 5th date was also the most expensive and we literally spent ALL day (10 hours) together. He also initiated hand holding and a make out during this date and kept mentioning future dates...which is why I am super confused!

Razzic Member

Razzic

Posted
Posted
Ha, I'd love to find a guy like that.

 

What's stopping you? :p

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