princess66666 Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 story: met online, met up for lunch a few days ago. at first, things were going well and i thought he was a good, genuine person. but then the conversation kind of got boring and awkward, although i will say i was sleep-deprived that day and when i'm sleep-deprived i tend to get kind of nervous and anxious. he seemed to take a genuine interest in my life. however, the end of the date was very awkward, cuz i sort of wanted to get rid of him as i wasn't up for making anymore awkward conversation that day, and i thought he wanted to get rid of me as well (wasn't sure). before we parted, he really surprised me by asking for a hug and saying talk to you later... i gave him the tiniest hug, because i was surprised and then left without saying anything. i didn't want to look too eager, because i had no idea what his intentions were, so i pretended to be indifferent. i'm open to giving this another shot, although i'm not crazy about it. he hasn't contacted me yet and it's been 3 days. should i try to contact him -- maybe a few days later? or just let it die?
BluEyeL Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 The hug doesn't mean anything, most of my dates hug. You can contact him, but it will not go anywhere, if he didn't contact you (or doesn't contact you in the future), he doesn't want to go further. It's gonna be others.
BluEyeL Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 If you really want to, contact him, but you'll see that it'll not go further. Maybe you'll get a second date, maybe, but that's all. Take it from the veterans, I've been there, done that.
Author princess66666 Posted May 23, 2013 Author Posted May 23, 2013 meh i don't REALLY want to. i would be open for another date... well actually it might be just as awkward so idk lol. i just don't want him to not contact me because he thinks i'm not interested or thinks i'd reject him. that would be sad, because i wouldn't. i thought he was a very good person.
BluEyeL Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 Then contact him. The worst that could happen is that you get a second date. Or he can reply commentary i.e. not inviting you again); or he won't reply. But this will not work out bc if he was interested, even if you didn't seem so excited, he would still be contacting you. I promise, he couldn't have helped himself. I've contacted the guys when didn't hear from them sometimes, for various reasons and all experimental data shows that they were not really gung ho about me in the first place. I doubt it that it's gonna be different with your guy. That's just how it works.
soccerrprp Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 There is very little about your original post that would suggest that you are eager to meet up with this guy again. Move on...YOU don't even sound interested. 1
Author princess66666 Posted May 23, 2013 Author Posted May 23, 2013 really, you think guys aren't able to help themselves if they're interested in you? i guess that kind of makes sense, except you'd have to factor their ego's into the equation. i just can't help wonder "what if". i'm not the type who goes on a lot of dates and just got out of an LTR, so this is all new to me and the date had a lot of potential prior to meeting up.
BluEyeL Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 Like I said, nothing bad will happen if you contact him, I'm just predicting it'll not go much further. For your peace of mind, go ahead and contact.
soccerrprp Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 really, you think guys aren't able to help themselves if they're interested in you? i guess that kind of makes sense, except you'd have to factor their ego's into the equation. i just can't help wonder "what if". i'm not the type who goes on a lot of dates and just got out of an LTR, so this is all new to me and the date had a lot of potential prior to meeting up. princess, your second post started by saying "meh, I don't REALLY want to ...." Huh? You're not interested. 1
AsonUnique Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 Are you more interested now that you haven't heard from him for 3 days? 1
Author princess66666 Posted May 23, 2013 Author Posted May 23, 2013 Are you more interested now that you haven't heard from him for 3 days? haha good question, but no. it's just that i expect guys to play by the 2 or 3 day rule... and since i haven't heard after 3 days, don't think i'll hear from him
Estate Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 story: met online, met up for lunch a few days ago. at first, things were going well and i thought he was a good, genuine person. but then the conversation kind of got boring and awkward, although i will say i was sleep-deprived that day and when i'm sleep-deprived i tend to get kind of nervous and anxious. he seemed to take a genuine interest in my life. however, the end of the date was very awkward, cuz i sort of wanted to get rid of him as i wasn't up for making anymore awkward conversation that day, and i thought he wanted to get rid of me as well (wasn't sure). before we parted, he really surprised me by asking for a hug and saying talk to you later... i gave him the tiniest hug, because i was surprised and then left without saying anything. i didn't want to look too eager, because i had no idea what his intentions were, so i pretended to be indifferent. i'm open to giving this another shot, although i'm not crazy about it. he hasn't contacted me yet and it's been 3 days. should i try to contact him -- maybe a few days later? or just let it die? Here would be my take on it if I was the guy... If I got the feeling SHE wasn't interested, I'd probably save myself the pain of a rejection or her the embarrassment of having to come up with an excuse... so I'd just let it go. However, on 2 occasions, I got that vibe from girls and let it go a few days when they got back in touch with ME which I appreciated, maybe they just had an off day and I asked them out again... afterall, they made the effort to get in touch and it turns out they were both really great girls when we met again. That's not to say he WILL ask you out again but if you're unsure, reach out, it'll prompt him to give it another shot but don't bank too much on it. Nothing wrong at all with you sending him a message though and feeling out the situation. 1
BluEyeL Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 How many times did you do it? More than once? Here's the deal princess66666. Contact him once if you like, but do it without expectations. Don't be all hurt if he doesn't respond or responds that he isn't interested. Yes, more than once, yes.
BluEyeL Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 I've done it four times. Once he responded commentary, i.e. "the weather is nice", and that was it. Three times I got a second date.
Star Gazer Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 Normally, I'd say no. However, with this guy, you've clearly got nothing to lose... so why not? 1
BluEyeL Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 It never hurt you. Guys do it hundreds of times and unless they are hot might get a dozen rejections in a row. Four is nothing. Well, I didn't say she shouldn't do it, I just said not to expect that this will work out beyond a second date. The guy is not really into her, I think. It'll not hurt her, no.
BluEyeL Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 A quick text could help her if he's shy, but it won't hurt her. Key is just a quick text. I agree. Do it, OP.
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