na49 Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 are they important to you? Do you "celebrate" them? My girlfriend is pretty big on them, I'm not really concerned with them as much anymore. It's nice to think that we were together for another month, but I don't go crazy over them like I did when we were first dating. 1
Casablanca Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 are they important to you? Do you "celebrate" them? My girlfriend is pretty big on them, I'm not really concerned with them as much anymore. It's nice to think that we were together for another month, but I don't go crazy over them like I did when we were first dating. How old is she? I like to bring up 6 month, but after that, yearly only
phineas Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 Has the relationship world gotten so bad that making it another month is an achievement or is this just society celebrating mediocrity more & more? 9
Ursa Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 First month? Kinda cute. Six month (the first year), worth noting. After that, no. Every single month kind of sucks all the meaning out of it and starts to seem rather juvenile. 3
zebracolors Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 Months go by pretty quickly. IMO far as milestones go, every month seems a little excessive. I guess I'd rather just enjoy time together with a guy if he's become special to me, and not be so focused on how many weeks or months are passing. OP if it concerns you suggest to her to just enjoy the ride with you and not watch the mile marker signs. 1
TaraMaiden Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 The way things seem on LS right now, perhaps even 'weekaversaries' may soon be the norm.... 2
Author na49 Posted May 23, 2013 Author Posted May 23, 2013 She's 19 but is a bit of a hopeless romantic. It's gotten old by now honestly, I can casually bring it up to her that not every month together needs to be an achievement, but the length of our relationship is clearly important to her. It's not really important to me.
Ursa Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 Well...if it's just a small event, like she wants to try to meet that day to say "Happy Anniversary" or she buys you a very small token gift and would like one in return...I'd probably just roll with it. If it's important to her, why burst her bubble? A deflated hopeless romantic is a depressing thing, and it's really rather a compliment, that she is so into you and your relationship that she marks it so closely and wants to celebrate every little thing. 19 is young, is this her first real love? It's likely she will be a little more relaxed, further down the road... However, if she's being demanding or unreasonable about it, if she has inflated expectations of grandiose gifts and elaborate surprise dates and she sulks if you forget the made-up "four month milestone"...that would be a red flag, IMO. 2
Author na49 Posted May 23, 2013 Author Posted May 23, 2013 Well...if it's just a small event, like she wants to try to meet that day to say "Happy Anniversary" or she buys you a very small token gift and would like one in return...I'd probably just roll with it. If it's important to her, why burst her bubble? A deflated hopeless romantic is a depressing thing, and it's really rather a compliment, that she is so into you and your relationship that she marks it so closely and wants to celebrate every little thing. 19 is young, is this her first real love? It's likely she will be a little more relaxed, further down the road... However, if she's being demanding or unreasonable about it, if she has inflated expectations of grandiose gifts and elaborate surprise dates and she sulks if you forget the made-up "four month milestone"...that would be a red flag, IMO. No, she usually just wants to meet up, say happy anniversary, exchange small gifts, maybe go out for some lunch/dinner. It doesn't really bother me, and that's a good way to think about it. That she values her relationship with me. It's not her first real love, she's been like this with her past relationships too as far as I know. but they were obviously younger loves than mine so I guess that would explain it.
iris219 Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 My bf and I celebrated our 5 month anniversary last night. We didn't exchange gifts or anything. We just went to dinner and acknowledged that it's been 5 months. A gift would have been overkill. I'm sure we'll stop doing the monthly recognition after the first year and just celebrate yearly.
Eternal Sunshine Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 My ex wanted to celebrate every month. He would get flowers and champagne. For 6 months he organized a weekend away in another state, special dinner etc. I have to admit that I kind of liked that. Looking back at how incompatible we were, every month together was indeed an accomplishment 1
youngnlove89 Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 Anniversary an·ni·ver·sa·ry Noun: The date on which an event took place in a previous year. Not month. Monthversary isn't even a word. If you have to celebrate your relationship every month it means you don't feel it will even last a year to wait till then. 1
daletom Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 I think it's mostly a girl thing. Can be kind of cute as long as it stays light and casual, and "another month" is a significant amount of time compared to what has already gone by. The danger signal is when this kind of "clock-watching" gets more attention than doing the work (and pleasure!) of the relationship itself. Or when there seems to be a goal, such as, "I was with Bob for ten months and we have already been together for eight months!". I think my wife dragged out the 6 month anniversary of when we first started writing to each other, a milepost I was completely oblivious to. A couple months after that we started counting DOWN the time until we would be married, which almost certainly deflected attention from what was already behind us. After marriage I know we marked the first month, and I noted the subsequent 2 or 3 months after her prodding. Then there was 6 months . . . and a year . . . and now coming up on 39 years. If you'd like a little insight into some of the slightly non-standard "anniversaries" that some folks celebrate, take a look at the "Today is..." thread in "Marriage and Life Partnerships" at http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/marriage-life-partnerships/393101-today#post4889598 1
PogoStick Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 Funny you ask. I was out with a group last weekend where a drunk girl said she's been dating this guy for 6 weeks. I had her all worked up, saying that he's expecting her to do something really special for their 2 month anniversary. It was totally over her head that I was reversing the gender roles...Gullible innocence + alcohol = 5 minutes of hilarity!
sillyanswer Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 The way things seem on LS right now, perhaps even 'weekaversaries' may soon be the norm.... You mean you don't worship the sun rising every day?! :eek:
Mrlonelyone Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 At age 19 you may be your GF's first real adult relationship. For her it is feelings on a level she has never felt before. At her age, and I'll bet yours such things are normal. At the ripe old age of 30-35 where I am, being around many 18-22 year olds makes one feel rather decrepit at this age too, celebrating every month just does not make sense*. Months go by so fast for me at this age it's like no time at all. To me six months and a year are a big deal, then every year after that makes sense. *If your partner wants to celebrate every month at least for the first year, and you're sure that you're that into them, go with it. For some reason they emotionally need that.
sillyanswer Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 are they important to you? They are somewhere between cute and puke. 1
grkBoy Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 Everyone's different. I never did the monthly thing. Yearly we treated as special.
MidwestUSA Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 My (our) 52nd weekaversary is coming up. Who hoo! At my age, you celebrate a good bowel movement every day, so what the heck. Bring me a shot of Geritol! 3
Els Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 Weekaversaries. I like that. Will try and convince the bf. 1
crederer Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 6 months, then annual. Once and while I'd bring it up like "hey, as of today we've been together four months. High five, babe!" but didn't actually celebrate.
Harradin Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 I did for the first and second months, because it was mine/her first relationship. But now I'd only count the first month, then 6 months then after that annually.
Jane2011 Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 No, I don't care about "monthaversaries" - lol. I'd celebrate a year with a nice dinner, but not much more. I'm not even big on anniversaries, though, honestly. I think there are plenty of 'special occasions' sprinkled throughout the year that involve gift-giving or doing something nice. There's your birthday, his/her birthday, Valentine's day, Christmas, New Year's. I actually think the more 'special days' there are, the less special they feel. I'll still acknowledge one year, but I'll make a point of it being just dinner. 1
Author na49 Posted June 2, 2013 Author Posted June 2, 2013 Well she told me what she got me as a gift for our next "monthaversary" even though she doesn't call it that. It wasn't anything big, but it made me feel crappy because she got me something already and I didn't get her anything yet. (I admit. Part of it is because I don't think gifts to celebrate another month is necessary) but I felt like a bad guy because it isn't as big of a deal to me as it is to her. She isn't demanding anything special. She isn't "demanding" anything at all really. but it's obvious that I need to get her a gift to return the favor. So I'll come up with something. She isn't hard to please gift wise, but I always try to go above and beyond for her. (which is my own fault)
Els Posted June 2, 2013 Posted June 2, 2013 Well she told me what she got me as a gift for our next "monthaversary" even though she doesn't call it that. It wasn't anything big, but it made me feel crappy because she got me something already and I didn't get her anything yet. (I admit. Part of it is because I don't think gifts to celebrate another month is necessary) but I felt like a bad guy because it isn't as big of a deal to me as it is to her. She isn't demanding anything special. She isn't "demanding" anything at all really. but it's obvious that I need to get her a gift to return the favor. So I'll come up with something. She isn't hard to please gift wise, but I always try to go above and beyond for her. (which is my own fault) Well, look at it this way, it's just not sensible or sustainable to go 'above and beyond' every single month, not to mention all the other occasions that Jane mentioned. So, if you want to do this thing, keep it small, perhaps just a little reminder to do something small and nice for your SO, that most people do anyway. Cook dinner for her, or buy her her favourite snack or DVD, something like that. Save the bigger and more elaborate stuff for other less frequent occasions. 1
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