rockbottom88 Posted May 22, 2013 Posted May 22, 2013 I was dating my ex for 5 months. I have been dealing with chronic pain in back and legs (sciatic nerve) for 2 years now. I am 25, she is 20. On our first date, I explained my situation 100% and she was okay with it. Shortly after, we started dating. Everything was great with us, we got along great, shortly after we fell MADLY in love with eachother. She was so good and understanding with everything that was going on with me. It was amazing. On top of that, she was everything I've been looking for in a girl. She practically lived with me the whole time we were dating. We broke up for a short period of time because she started feeling like a maid doing everything for me, and I wasnt treating her as I should have. Not intentionally, but if anyone reads this that understands chronic pain and what it does to every aspect of your life, you will understand it was not intentional. We spoke, I promised her I would work on everything and a few days later, we got back together, The following 2 weeks were amazing, better then ever, Then I went in for my 2nd surgery. She took off work the day of and was there with me and my mom and dad. She was amazing, came to the hospital everyday and then asked if we can be official again and I can be her boyfriend again. I loved her so i agreed. The surgery was not successful. The pain became worse then ever before. I was living with my parents an hour away after surgery for them to help me because I was recovering. She drove up every night, Finally after a week of staying there, she begged for me to go home and she would take care of me at my house because the drive was alot for her and she couldnt afford it. told me she did not mind taking care of me because she knew I couldnt and she is gonna marry me and loves me so much. so i agreed and went home. She came over everyday. After the 2nd surgery, i got extemely depressed/negative and miserable. I couldnt get myself out of it because i had such high hopes, the 2nd surgery was going to work. She tried and tried to keep me positive, but i was stuck and couldnt get out of the mindset I was in. a week after I went home, we woke up, she seemed distant, and that night she left me. Told me she could not deal with how depressed and miserable i was and didnt want to leave but I've given her no choice. I do not blame her in anyway for doing this. IT was my own stuff. After she left me, I hit rock bottom. Called parents to pick me up and have been living with them ever since. The first few days things were okay with us via texting and calling. One night, she was out with her friends and I got OCD, and could not control myself and kept texting and calling her. It drove her crazy and said thats it. I'm done. Action speak louder then words and I cant do it anymore. I acted desperate and told her fine. The next few days were horrible. I couldnt eat, sleep, nothing. We talked via text here and there, she wanted to remain friends. I went home last night because i had a doctor appointment near my house. She texted and asked how does it feel being home. NExt thing you know, 30 minutes later, she walks through my bedroom door and she knew my friends would be there. She was very distant and treated me only as a friend. less then 2 hours later she left. I texted her asking her what that was about and OCD kicked in once again, and started calling and texting non stop cause I did not get a response. It was a mind game. I know she misses me and wanted us to work, but can't deal with everything I'm going through right now. Today, I have yet to text her or talk to her and it's easier this way. Then she will text me friendly and I reply hour or so after I recieve the message. I dont want to lose her completely out of my life but I cant take this back and forth. I'm on the road to getting myself better, then I talk to her and it gets worse for me. I love her and truly want to be with this girl long term but I'm just stuck on what to do. I can do the NC thing to try for her to come back to me, but I will for a day, then she will text 2 or 3 times and I'll reply. Any opinions or ideas will be greatly appreciated. I'm so lost!
Author rockbottom88 Posted May 24, 2013 Author Posted May 24, 2013 update. started no contact after she left when showing up that night out of nowhere. didnt tell her NC just did it. wednesday nothing at all. thursday she calls at 7pm. i dont answer. 9pm she texts saying well guess ur busy just called to say hi ok bye. i didnt answer. what should i do? remember i do want her back
aisuru Posted May 24, 2013 Posted May 24, 2013 I understand you have health problems and that you are in pain. However, you cannot use that to justify some of your attitude or treatment of her/the relationship. You cannot get needy or manipulative. You cannot expect her to drop everything for her. She needs to take care of herself as well. I know it's hard. I do. Trust me. But you cannot excuse everything due to your health. It sucks. You've been dealt a ****ty hand. If this is going to work, you are going to have to work doubly hard on dealing with the effects of your health on your own. You cannot expect her to just deal. I hope you are able to figure it out. If you cannot get to that point right now, and I understand, then you need to ignore her and stop the back and forth. Because right now, your health is important. You need to keep your focus and take care of you. Maybe you just don't have enough to give right now. 1
Author rockbottom88 Posted May 24, 2013 Author Posted May 24, 2013 Thanks for the reply. I complete agree. I was trying to ignore her last night and got my facebook and texts blown up on my phone. finally i answered. she wanted to say hi and make plans for saturday. but we are JUST FRIENDS according to her. I had a pic on instagram about "people hurt u the most, are poeple who swore they never would". She asked if it was about her and if it was to take it down. So i told her it was and out of respect i took it down. She bugged out and said fine, ill live up to the pic and good luck with everything. goodbye. ill continue acting the way your saying i am. like she didnt already know she hurt me?
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