Michus Posted May 22, 2013 Posted May 22, 2013 (edited) hi, i have been dating my girlfriend for about 3 and a half years and we have gone from being in a great relationship that was virtually perfect we never had a serious argument. we never had any real problems outside of money because we were high school students back then. we lived together for 2 and a half years until we were caught being intimate with e then i was promptly forbidden from seeing her by her mother but that is another story. when that happened however she went from running away from her family to come live with me which i convinced her was not a good idea we were 18 at the time. then things went from recovering to dying as she has told me she is not feeling the same anymore and wants to break up we had an argument and i told her i could not be her friend if we were going to break up we would have no contact so i can heal. i didnt mean to but that scared her so we did not break up. i know her mother continues to attack her about us. i know she hates me and i know she places herself over her daughter because when we were caught she took away my girlfriends chance to go to college i am currently helping her with that. she tried to break up with me a second time and this time i told her what would happen she went ahead with it anyway and i deleted her contact info from my phone as she broke up with me. she later called my two best friends to cheer me up. i had to call her that same day to give her cut of the money we made on ebay. i may not have wanted to talk to her but i am not a thief so when i did she was crying that we had broken up. that break up lasted for 9 days and at that time she continued to contact me and tried to spend time with me we ended up back together. it has been 3 months since then and she is telling me she needs to find herself that she needs to be single all with tears in her eyes. i have talked to her about it and i dont bend to those excuses we had an argument that leas to us making up again. it goes from i think your the devil to i love you that is what this past year has been in this relationship and i talked about this to my best friend he is a psych major and he honestly says that she wants to have both me and her family and is put in a position where that is not going to happen so she is very conflicted. i have asked her what my faults are so if we do break up i know where i can grow as a person for next time and if we dont i know where to work to attempt to keep the routine part of our relationship down but in all honesty i really care for this girl and i would rather not lose her. i am sorry i tried to make this short its just a really touchy subject. i will say i am the kind of person that believes that cheating is the second worst crime anyone can ever commit in ones life and i truly have zero tolerance for it and my girlfriend has too big a conscience to not feel bad if something happens she felt bad and asked me to forgive her for checking out a poster her guilt can get extreme and she was like that before we even considered dating. thank you for any help and i apologize for writing so much. Edited May 24, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Author Michus Posted May 24, 2013 Author Posted May 24, 2013 sorry for writing more its just a quick update i have been noticing that as we talk she warms up and starts saying things like where she wants us to live and why then she stops once she realizes what she said almost like as i she is trying to force herself away from something that she wants to say. it doesn't seem like she didn't mean it more like she doesn't want to tell me. but when she does she talks about us specifically so now i'm confused even more.
Author Michus Posted June 16, 2013 Author Posted June 16, 2013 hey i have been working on fixing the problems in my relationship and i found one of the sources the other is the view her family has of me and that is the biggest problem she didn't tell me this i figured this out by her body language around their reactions to me and the other problems are confusion which is leading to bi polar behavior caused by her family the last is depression caused from not having real friends. i know i cant fix all of these but by helping her i know i can at least leave her better off some advice will be greatly appreciated thank you.
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