Hendrix2 Posted May 22, 2013 Posted May 22, 2013 Just ended a pretty awesome one year relationship with my French gf. She was a great gf, but at times a little too needy so I sat her down and explained to her that we were breaking up. After a lot of tears, letters, talking, etc we were just kinda hanging out/eating/watching tv/laughing/remembering stuff. She gave me back some things and I gave her back some stuff, pretty standard procedure. She explained the door is open anytime I want to see her or spend time with her family and I said cool. She also wants to do some of the things we didnt get around to doing like some museums and stuff in Paris. I'm glad the breakup is going smoothly and positively but I'm worried about getting too involved. Should we stop seeing each other completely or should I fulfill these final requests to help bring her closure? Don't want her or me to hurt anymore than we have to. Although its a "good breakup" it's still hard. I go back to the states in a month (and will most likely return in October to Paris for work). Any advice?
BustedUpInside Posted May 22, 2013 Posted May 22, 2013 I guess it depends. Does she seem like she is ok with not being in a relationship, or does it seem like she is just going to try to be in a relationship without the title until you leave? I guess, I don't understand why you broke up if you are just going to keep hanging out until you leave in a month.
Cola Posted May 22, 2013 Posted May 22, 2013 I once had a good break up. It broke my heart but we were nice and decided to remain friends. We actually got along brilliantly after. He got married, I fell in love with someone else, and we were still best friends. We've since fallen out and I've asked him never to talk to me again. But we were together for six years and friends for three after! So it can work out. You may find it better to take a break initially so that you can do some healing apart. Then you can be friends. Are you completely sure you don't want a relationship with this girl though? Be very sure. Don't make a huge mistake and regret it later.
Author Hendrix2 Posted May 22, 2013 Author Posted May 22, 2013 I guess it depends. Does she seem like she is ok with not being in a relationship, or does it seem like she is just going to try to be in a relationship without the title until you leave? I guess, I don't understand why you broke up if you are just going to keep hanging out until you leave in a month. Seems like she's trying to keep contact. She has texted me several times and sent me a pic since the breakup yesterday. I'm not initiating any contact and don't want to because I know we need to move on. I responded very briefly to her texts. She also mentioned wanting to hang out, cook for me, taking her nephew somewhere, etc I said ok cuz I'm kinda tight with her family but I'm just wondering if its a good idea or not. Any experience with this? don't wanna drag this thing out or give false hope.
Author Hendrix2 Posted May 22, 2013 Author Posted May 22, 2013 I once had a good break up. It broke my heart but we were nice and decided to remain friends. We actually got along brilliantly after. He got married, I fell in love with someone else, and we were still best friends. We've since fallen out and I've asked him never to talk to me again. But we were together for six years and friends for three after! So it can work out. You may find it better to take a break initially so that you can do some healing apart. Then you can be friends. Are you completely sure you don't want a relationship with this girl though? Be very sure. Don't make a huge mistake and regret it later. Yes I'm sure, I care about her tremendously but I know it will never work us being together. I think a break is needed as well for us to clear our minds, focus on other things, heal, etc Did you and your ex hang out together immediately after or did you give it time?
BustedUpInside Posted May 22, 2013 Posted May 22, 2013 Hmmm, it kind of seems like she might not fully realize how serious you are about ending the relationship. I don't know her, but if it was me and I was invested in the relationship, I might let myself believe that you only wanted to break up because you are moving and not because there was something intrinsically wrong with the relationship. She might be thinking that things will just go on like normal until you leave and then you guys will take it from there. You seem like a nice person who wouldn't want to intentionally hurt someone that you still care about, so my advice would be to make it clear that you two are no longer involved in a relationship. Tell her that you want to give her as much space as she needs to come to terms with this. If you put the ball in her court, it might make taking the news a little bit easier. 2
Author Hendrix2 Posted May 23, 2013 Author Posted May 23, 2013 Hmmm, it kind of seems like she might not fully realize how serious you are about ending the relationship. I don't know her, but if it was me and I was invested in the relationship, I might let myself believe that you only wanted to break up because you are moving and not because there was something intrinsically wrong with the relationship. She might be thinking that things will just go on like normal until you leave and then you guys will take it from there. You seem like a nice person who wouldn't want to intentionally hurt someone that you still care about, so my advice would be to make it clear that you two are no longer involved in a relationship. Tell her that you want to give her as much space as she needs to come to terms with this. If you put the ball in her court, it might make taking the news a little bit easier. I made it very clear to her about what I perceived to be wrong with the relationship and although I care greatly for her, her and I are not going to be together. She knows without doubt it's not about me moving (I'm coming back in the fall so maybe that gives hope I dunno). She has been contacting me everyday in different ways like texting, sending pics, sending fbook messages, commenting on my fbook stuff, commenting on my friends fbook stuff, etc There should probably be a period of limited to no contact right?
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