moonlight1 Posted May 22, 2013 Posted May 22, 2013 (edited) Hi everyone, Thankyou in advance for any responses. This is my first time on any kind of forum, its 5 in the morning, i havent slept and i cannot stop THINKING!!! I will start from the very begining... hopefully that will help you guys with your responses. Me (22) and him (28) met through mutual friends last year. We seem to hit it off instantly but i did not continue anything after our first meeting as i was leaving australia (my home country) to immigrate to the US as i have family over here and who wouldnt take the opportunity to become a resident and one day a citizen of another country. We met in august and did talk for about a month until he rang me one night asking if i wanted to go a party with him. For some reason i said yes and the next day he picked me up and we spent the night together, no sex, just a few drinks and alot of talking. I learned about his life, his job and that he had a 6yr old son. After that night we continued to talk and i went his house a few times after work and visited him, still no sex. Because i was suppose to be leaving in december, i tried my best not to form feelings for him, but it happened and i couldnt do anything to stop it and neither could he. For some stupid reason we began actually dating (boyfriend/girlfriend) and it was only about a week until i was suppose to leave when i told me he was inlove with me, i felt the same and we didnt know to do. I felt like i needed to give it a chance and i knew my visa was valid for another 5 months so i pushed my flights for another 3 months. Because i was literally moving to another country i had nothing but 3 suitcases to my name and no where really to live other than with family so we decided that i would live with him until it was time for me to leave. I know it was super early but it worked so well, in that time i met his family, his son, his friends who i love and they all love me. It honestly seemed perfect. We were happy. So the 3 more months i had with him was coming to an end and i decided that i would only go for 4 months, long enough to make ties with the US so i wouldnt lose my greencard. He was very happy with my decision and wanted to stay together even though id be gone for 4 months and we wouldnt see eachother for that time. It was hard to know we would go through it but we both honestly thought it would be fine. About a week before i was due to leave i got the most horrible calk from the US, it was my mother telling me that my step dad had a brain tumor. So the last week we spent together was even harder. Once i arrived in the US it was straight to the hospital to see my step dad, me and my guy spoke everyday, a week later my step dad was diagnosed with stage 4 brain cancer, it was devastating. Though things were terrible in the US, me and my guy still talked and skyped everyday and things seemed to be going well with us, i even had my flights booked to return home to him. 6 weeks passed and he called me like normal, the conversation was normal for about 20 minutes until the unexpected came. He said "so ive been thinking" i was like oh yeah what about, he said "i think you should stay over there with your family longer, im just not feeling it" i broke down, i couldnt believe, what was he saying? He began crying also and i pleaded with him for answers, all he could give me was "i dont know if i love you anymore and ive been waiting to miss you but it hasnt come". I couldnt handle it so i hung up. I then rang him back and offered to fly back to australia the very next day for a week so we could see eachother, he didnt say no and also said he wanted to see me. The very next day i jumped on a plane, he picked me up from the airport, we didnt talk about him breaking up with me, we just hugged and kissed and we went back to his house. We then had sex, which seemed like the best sex we had ever had, and things seemed normal, at that point i was too scared to ask if we were back together or not. The next day we had sex again and out of the bedroom it seemed like he wanted me. That night one of his friends was having a bbq so we went together, all his friends were estatic to see me and didnt know the real reason i was back so obviously he had told them nothing. We all got a little drunk and that was when i confronted him about what wa going on, only to be completely crushed. He said he didnt want to be with me and that he told me not to come back which is not true, he also said he was happier without me. There was no screaming or fighting, it was a quiet breakup, and it truly looked like the things he was saying were hurting him. I decided to catch a cab back to his place to get my stuff, leave and spend the rest of the trip with family. Over the last 7 days i was there we saw eachother a few more times, no sex, i just needed a reason why, because everything seemed to be going great. On the very last day i saw him to say goodbye, and to fight for him one last time and at the very least get an explanation but all he could tell was his feelings had changed and he didnt know why. On that note i left him with a nice letter saying basically i would let him go, and all i want was for him to be happy. We said goodbye and the next day i flew back to the US. So here i am 2 days later, heartbroken, with no real explanation as to what went wrong. I cant stop thinking, its driving me insane. D Does he really not love me anymore? Is it that grass is greener thing? What the #### happened? I love him dearly and because of that i know i have to let him be but i need answers Does anyone have any insight? Please..... Edited May 22, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs Added
far_far_away Posted May 22, 2013 Posted May 22, 2013 Hi I don't really have any insight...just to say that you are not alone. I am Aussie living in the UK and I broke up with my Irish boyfriend last night. The visas and long distance makes everything so much harder. Now I cant figure out which country I want to be in. I don't really know what to say, except we will get through this and it will be ok. Stay strong
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