deannev12 Posted May 22, 2013 Posted May 22, 2013 Have a pretty bad dilemma with a coworker. I'm 28, been with my wonderful gf for 3 years, would love to marry her, we rarely fight, we both like the same activities (without being too similar) and I don't have anything negative to say about us. There is a girl I work with, about the same age, who I am extremely physically attracted to. I find her much more attractive than my gf. She is a sweetheart, who I should mention has a serious bf, but we flirt, harmlessly. We playfully touch each other at work, always joke around. She is crazy smart, and confident, much different attitude than my gf. I have never acted like how I do when I'm around her. Today we worked alone together all day and we got so close to kissing. She joked that she wished we could have the place to ourselves everyday, I replied, she then said "all that's left to do is makeout now." And she laughed as did I. We have never said anything like that before to one another. I wanted to make a move to badly, that comment she made seemed to acknowledge the elephant in the room, that neither of us wanted to admit we were really attracted to each other. But I don't know if I'm just seeing what I want to see. I don't see why I am feeling this attraction towards my co-worker when I am perfectly happy with my gf. Any help is appreciated.
AsonUnique Posted May 22, 2013 Posted May 22, 2013 I totally see WHY you're having these feelings of attraction, you played along to create them. Man, if you got a good, honest woman that does it for you, don't throw that away for a fling with a co-worker of all people. The risks out-weight the benefits. Go fap and get it out of your system man, this is your penis talking. 2
zanzi Posted May 22, 2013 Posted May 22, 2013 you should find your gf more attractive then this women.
Author deannev12 Posted May 22, 2013 Author Posted May 22, 2013 She's gorgeous, but her personality is so different than my gf's. Her goals are strong, she's funny, and I don't know, sound like a babbling idiot but it's not just her looks I'm attracted to. I'm not one of those guys that just lusts after any hot babe
Tinie Posted May 22, 2013 Posted May 22, 2013 Stop this flirtatiousness with that girl now. Both your gf and her bf could get really hurt and betrayed if this continues and becomes more serious. You're just infatuated with her because she's the shiny new toy at the moment. If you were dating her, she'd become a regular face and you'd find someone else sooper physically attractive. If you're happy with your gf, stay with your gf. You have no guarantee you'd be happy with this girl. To be attracted to other people while in a serious relationship is normal. We're all human, and there are multiple people we can be attracted to. However, you said you wanted to make a move. Um, that's a problem. As long as you are with your gf, please, don't make any moves. If you don't care about yourself, at least think about her. If I was your gf and read this, I'd be really upset. You're being dishonest with her. Think before you do something, because you can end up in a situation where you don't have EITHER girl.
Author deannev12 Posted May 22, 2013 Author Posted May 22, 2013 It's so difficult because I work with her 4 days a week for fairly long shifts, she just has a magnetic personality. I have thought about telling my gf I had a stupid silly crush on this girl, because we are generally very honest with one another, but I don't want to ruin our relationship.
zanzi Posted May 22, 2013 Posted May 22, 2013 well the way things are going is cheatsville with a guaranteed break up in the future for someone. It sounds as though you should leave your gf if you are running after the first attractive women you lay eyes on. commitment is not your strong point clearly. if you loved your gf you would not be flirting with the other girl. making excuses is no substitute for loyalty.
zanzi Posted May 22, 2013 Posted May 22, 2013 I hope you do tell your gf. she deserves to know how little loyalty you have for her. I feel sorry for her for not knowing.
Author deannev12 Posted May 22, 2013 Author Posted May 22, 2013 I know this is wrong of me, and in almost 3 and a half years of our relationship this is not "the first hot girl I go running to" I came here because I recognize this isn't normal for my character. I have never cheated on a gf, and I think I'm a pretty good guy. Just looking for advice, and to vent. Mainly because how strong my feelings for my coworker are are freaking me out
Ninjainpajamas Posted May 22, 2013 Posted May 22, 2013 Well this is normal really...you're going to find other women attractive, even more attractive physically/objectively than your gf but if you're really happy and satisfied in your relationship as well as in love, it should be a no brainer that you should leave it to fantasy...because that's what it is...this other girl at the end of the day is just another human being w faults like your gf. As far as the sexual tension...you should see definitely masturbate or just do what guys do and imagine being w her while you're w your gf. The consequences and guilt would be a great deal to bear and cause a fun sexual flirtatious thing into a drama if you pursued it..it's fun right now because it isn't real...once it is that's a whole different story and I can almost guarantee you in the end you'll both be running back into your original partners arms...if they even let you, and if she was even willing to take the chance at jeopardizing her relationship...which is not what many women are as willing go do as men generally. Otherwise in my opinion you're not ready to marry your current...I think you're getting grass is greener syndrome and you need that experience to explore and be satisfied...unless you truly feel this is a one time thing, but I feel that this is revealing you're still quite young and inexperienced and may be too much for you to settle down right now..because you'll always be tested and there will be other intriguing women you connect w...Otherwise you're comfortable being a cheater or always wondering what if.
Ninjainpajamas Posted May 22, 2013 Posted May 22, 2013 (edited) I know this is wrong of me, and in almost 3 and a half years of our relationship this is not "the first hot girl I go running to" I came here because I recognize this isn't normal for my character. I have never cheated on a gf, and I think I'm a pretty good guy. Just looking for advice, and to vent. Mainly because how strong my feelings for my coworker are are freaking me out You need to wake up and accept you're already on that path to cheating...ask yourself if your gf would mind anything you've done w this woman? or said...would she be ok with that? Would you be ok w her doing the same w a co-worker? Put things in perspective because right now you're going to act surprised if something does happen even though this situation is being conditioned and baby stepped into that fine line across cheating...which most women in a relationship would find your behavior so far highly inappropriate. Edited May 22, 2013 by Ninjainpajamas
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