wutang69 Posted May 22, 2013 Posted May 22, 2013 My ex girlfriend and officially went out for 2 years. The past 2 years have been on and off with mixed stuff happening. Most of the time, i was an a$$ to her and took her for granted. I kept starting fights, kept threatening to break up ect ect. After 2 years she had enough and ended it with me for the way I treated her. Weirdly enough, she kept talking to me and acted like we were still together. I accepted it was over until she slept with someone, and then it hit me hard. I was upset, asked her to come back to me, acted needy desperate ect ect. She said she didn't love me anymore and that it was over. Obviously i pushed her further and further away. I was so depressed that i went to see a shrink. Things got bad, parents got involved ect ect. I decided to go no contact and accept the relationship was over and move on. I started seeing girls, life was getting better. Then exactly 3 weeks later she contacted me again. I replied to her and she eventually told me that she slept with someone else and realized soon after that she needed me back. Fast forward 6 months, I never officially took her back because of the pain she put me through and i didn't trust her again. She moved to a different state for work and she still kept in contact with me. As soon as she left to another state, i gave up on her, i moved on with other girls. She kept begging me to come back (constant ringing, messaging ect). I felt like she was never coming back so I moved on. Anyway, after 5 months, I eventually replied to her and agreed to meet up because i saw how much she was fighting for me. I started getting close to her again, she kept begging me to take her back but i said to be friends for a while because I wasn't sure what I wanted. I went to see her in the other state. I still had feelings for her but I wasn't sure what to do because I was embarrassed of the situation we were in 2 years before. Fast forward 3 months of talking and seeing each other, she gave up again and says she is started a relationship with that same guy she slept with when we first broke up. I don't even understand because they both live in different states? So i'm not sure whether she is threatening me or it is actually happening or not? Her Facebook status still says single but she told me that mutual friends would tell me otherwise and that she is sorry. I don't know if she is threatening me, or it is happening. She says to me she has moved on with someone else and that she is sorry for hurting me. Yet she tells me that I will never change and be good to her. My question is, do I do no contact again to make her want me again? Do i change for her and still keep in contact? Is she doing this to make me change?
Author wutang69 Posted May 22, 2013 Author Posted May 22, 2013 I understand what you are saying. But why does she come back if im such an ass?
Author wutang69 Posted May 22, 2013 Author Posted May 22, 2013 It seems that both of us know that the grass is greener on the other side, but we both come back because we know we will both be there for each other in the end. We seem to both enjoy hurting each other, but feel bad for it as soon as we realize we put the other through pain. Either that, or we both get lonely and give up trying to move on. I don't know
Author wutang69 Posted May 22, 2013 Author Posted May 22, 2013 (edited) When she contacts you, ignore her. When she emails you, ignore her. Don't contact her. Don't cyber stalk her. Change your number if necessary, and lose hers. Disappear. I did change my number. But then I contacted her again with the new number. Idiot. What if she contacts me again apologizing and regretting what she did? If it is true what she is saying Edited May 22, 2013 by wutang69
aisuru Posted May 22, 2013 Posted May 22, 2013 I did change my number. But then I contacted her again with the new number. Idiot. What if she contacts me again apologizing and regretting what she did? If it is true what she is saying Change your number again. Problem solved. 1
Author wutang69 Posted May 22, 2013 Author Posted May 22, 2013 You get together, you hurt her, she hurts you, you break up. Do you really think if you do that enough times, the relationship will work out? I speak from experience. I've been you. "If I persevere, if I learn from my mistakes, if I try a little harder, it'll be different." It never is. You're not meant for each other. Someone has to make the hard decision. It is not easy to let someone go. It's a bitch. It's the hardest thing you'll ever do. But it is the right thing. It is a kind thing. It FEELS cruel, and it feels horrible, but it's really not. If you really care about her, you'll help her make the right decision by letting her go. I know you are right. I know I have let go but for some reason she puts another guy in the picture and send me crazy.
Author wutang69 Posted May 22, 2013 Author Posted May 22, 2013 Who she dates, when she dates them, and how many she dates, is not your concern. Your concern is you. Your life. Focus on that. Stop letting her control your emotions and take back that control. Thank you 1
Author wutang69 Posted May 22, 2013 Author Posted May 22, 2013 I just feel that I owe her a relationship again because of the way I treated her. Either that or she makes me feel like I treat her like crap. It's just weird that as soon as you want to go back, they pull away. It was my first relationship that has been going on for 4 years. I can't seem to put someone else there because of it
Author wutang69 Posted May 22, 2013 Author Posted May 22, 2013 Bzzzt. Wrong. If you owe her anything, it's the chance to find someone she's more compatible with. That is kindness. More to the point, being in a relationship because you 'owe' it to her? Never, EVER stay in a relationship because of obligation. It is a straight road to unhappiness. I'm not really going to win with you am i?!
aisuru Posted May 22, 2013 Posted May 22, 2013 I'm not really going to win with you am i?! For the record, I agree with her. I'm just allowing her to take the lead tonight. 1
aisuru Posted May 22, 2013 Posted May 22, 2013 Bless your heart. Hmph. That's a veiled "aren't you a knucklehead" where I come from lady. 1
Author wutang69 Posted May 22, 2013 Author Posted May 22, 2013 Jokes aside, wutang69, it's your life. I'm not telling you what to do, I'm merely offering advice. I'm very confident that mine is the correct advice, backed with empirical evidence (if you want to get all science-y) however, everyone has to walk their own path. I have no doubt in my mind that your advice is right. My mind is currently racing at 1000 miles an hour and I am over thinking my thoughts. Thoughts that probably shouldn't be there in the first place. I believe that once they are gone, things will get better and I will happily move on
CelticGibson Posted May 22, 2013 Posted May 22, 2013 Wutang, why are you on here looking for advice when you CLEARLY have no intention of taking it? Really? Break the cycle and stop communicating with her if you want to move on, otherwise stay stuck getting crazy every time she gets with a new guy. You like punishment it seems. Everyone on here has told you what to do now it's up to you....
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