Everything he does is a contradiction...Was it his parents?

[ladyhawk553594]

My ex of a little over a year broke up with me (for the second time,for pretty much the same reasons) about a week ago. It literally came out of nowhere, especially because we had spent the day before together and things seemed perfect. He told me that he wanted to break up because he felt that we were both too young(we're both 20) to be this committed while we still have so much more of ourselves to discover and that he didn't want to end up feeling bitterness towards me if he didn't go out and make experiences for himself. During this whole spiel, he was crying more than I was and said all these wonderful things about me and how I don't deserve to have to wait for him to "experience" whatever freedom he feels he's missing out on. We ended things on good terms and told him that I understood (well kind of) where he was coming from and that I want him to go find that independence and freedom he's yearning for.

 

He contacted me a couple days ago saying how much he appreciated that I understood, that he already missed hearing my crazy dreams, singing at the top of our lungs in his car, etc and that it meant the world to him to know that sometime down the road I'll be in his life in some way. I didn't respond until today, just to say thank you and that I appreciated the sentiment. He responded almost immediately telling me what he was doing today and added a smiley face at the end. To just be polite I said that it sounded like fun, thinking he'd realize that I wasn't trying to start a conversation and just wanted to thank him. He responded again with a detailed report of something funny that had just happened and then told me that he was going to bed (he's in london right now on vacation, 6 hours ahead of us) and that he hoped I had a great rest of the day.

 

I just don't understand why someone who broke up with me would be so interested in maintaining contact. The last time we broke up, we both had trouble doing NC, but I don't want to fall back into these patterns. I know he still cares about me, but I think we both realize that it's time to move on. It's like his body language and actions/words don't match up. My mom and friends thinks that his parents, mainly his dad, had something to do with the break up. He never seemed to like our relationship,told my ex that he should have broken up with me before entering college to not have anyone holding him back, and the last time we got back together he did it while his dad wasn't in town and didn't tell him for almost a month. When we were getting back together, he even said something to the extent of "I don't care what people think, I love you and I'm going to be with someone who makes me happier than I've ever been". So it is plausible, I just don't want to put these thoughts in my head and give myself false hope. I also don't know how to be upfront with him if he continues to talk to me. It makes it so much harder to move on...So have you guys ever been in a situation similar to this?

[aisuru]

You need to go no contact. If his family has that much pull over him, it's just not going to be worth the battle.

 

I know it's going to hurt. I'm sorry.

 

It may be for the best. You're young. Sounds like this relationship was a good experience and hopefully you heal from it okay and find another relationship with a guy deserving of you.