ConfusedT Posted May 22, 2013 Posted May 22, 2013 Let's start off with my biggest issue... I left him, I broke up with him, but now he is walking around like everything is OK and he is super happy and I am sitting here miserable to death (although I am not portraying that on any SN or anything)... it looks like im just as happy, even though my heart is shattered!! So after all my exs things were gone, I thought it'd be like a fresh start... NOPE, not at all. We didnt speak for two days and then he texts me and I reply. Basically starting a texting war again. I'm not sure why I fall into these games, maybe the drama, maybe the bread crumbs, i dont know. He tells me once again, I am weak, have negative emotions, cry baby, too sensitive, i never loved you and i never will- i feel like he is projecting how he feels onto me..=( Anyways he then asks me to hang out, I tell him no and then I come to find out, he has had the same girl over there every single night that he cheated on me with, even after he asked me to come over.. After I found that out, I texted him to let him know to not contact me anymore and I dont want anything to do with him.. he has not at all. I thought that I would be healing by now, I mean it's been 3 weeks to the DAY and i thought something would have changed. I've been sitting here crying all dang day and am miserable. Its beautiful and I just want to lay inside and sleep. I HAVE TO IMPLEMENT NC, i know I do. I really do. I dont understand why I am even dealing with this. I dont understand why I am not strong enough to just ignore him and more importantly i dont understand why the hell i dont love myself enough to completely CUT this off without fail.. i need help... On a brighter note, I started counseling, so hopefully that can help me fix whats wrong... 1
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