Jealous

[mishy]

so its totally over with him, but i didnt actually post here about what happened, and what happened is kind of ironic.

 

So "David" (i will call him that) moved away In February for work to make a lot of money in a short time working in a mining area. He took off just as we were talking about starting a business together ( a gallery), took off without warning. I dont know why, and getting answers is pretty impossible when it comes to him.

 

So he was a bit lonely when he arrived there and was sending me naked pics and texting me all the time. He told me that he had moved there "forever" which i totally didnt believe, as no one moves to this place permanently. Who knows, i will never know the truth with him

 

So i actually started to move on and i met someone. He was more of a friend and we had a lot in common and i was starting to feel quite attracted. I hadnt told David about him at all. In the whole time i was seeing him like the whole 5 years, he had no competition, i wasnt seeing other guys. So anyway one afternoon i told him that the next day I was going away for a few days (with that guy), and i just got silence. Went from heaps of texts to zero

 

remember he only ever wanted casual with me, so he had no right to be jealous of me seeing anyone else ESPECIALLY seeing that he moved away without even telling me he was going to, until he actually had moved there

 

Couple of weeks passed, whenever i texted him id get no reply. I asked if it was to do with me going away with the guy and he wouldnt reply. I asked him if he was jealous he wouldnt reply.

 

Then one weekend he texted me saying angrily that he wasnt jealous and that he has a girlfriend.(because he knows how upset i was last year when he got a gf)

 

Liar liar pants on fire, it was a total lie, I found out a few days later through a friend that was a lie and that he doesnt have one at all

 

I hope he was jealous, serves him right

[Simon Phoenix]

Why the hell are you still talking to your ex in the first place, especially with your history with him?

[mishy]

i know.. i know... it was more him than me, and he was away, so i knew i was in no danger of sleeping with him

 

i dont know..

[Simon Phoenix]

i know.. i know... it was more him than me, and he was away, so i knew i was in no danger of sleeping with him

 

i dont know..

 

Well stop. I mean, what's the point? You wasted five-plus years on this man, why are you continuing and why do you care if he's jealous or not? Spend your time getting to know this other guy, not wondering whether a FWB for five years cares if you have another guy. Give the new guy a shot. Go NC and stay NC. It's not rocket science.

[Leigh 87]

Mishy!

 

WHY are you doing this!

 

You SHOULD NOT have even KNOWN about his "move"

 

You should have been NC.

 

Yes I had trouble going NC with MY ex but he gave a damn about me we were in a committed R. We lived together. We both felt very loved.

 

THIS guy DOES NOT GIVE A CRAP ABOUT YOU.

 

Sorry, but he DELIBERATLEY does things that he KNOWS will hurt you:sick:

 

Telling you he has a girlfriend, JUST because he "enjoys" inflicting pain on you?

 

I am stunned.

 

You said you had a great career, the one you told me about? Well you have that going for you? You sound sweet and loyal? Intelligent?

 

Why no other relationships in 5 years?

 

That's crazy, dude. You would save yourself for a man who gave NO indication that he wanted to hold you in bed each night, as his girlfriend, in a committed relationship?

 

I cannot really even fathom doing that. 5 years is a joke.

 

 

Sorry but I am just really stunned that you would stay loyal to a guy who never once alluded to committing, or to wanting to spend a lot of time with you. Or to base his life around you the way a guy does when he is interested in making you a main part of his life.

 

I mean... Why did you stay loyal to a man who NEVER ONCE gave you ANY signs that he wanted to commit to you!>!

 

5 years?

 

I mean, I have no career and am still studying but man, I would have had a LOT of men interested within a 5 year period; I am not super model either, so ummm I guess I am baffled that you have not had any other men come along?

 

What did you do to the men (whom I am sure) were interested in getting to know you better during this time?

[mishy]

Well stop. I mean, what's the point? You wasted five-plus years on this man, why are you continuing and why do you care if he's jealous or not? Spend your time getting to know this other guy, not wondering whether a FWB for five years cares if you have another guy. Give the new guy a shot. Go NC and stay NC. It's not rocket science.

 

its probably my resentment of him, built up over that time, just wanting some satisfaction to know he is jealous, i know its sick, and pointless, but thats what it is

[mishy]

Mishy!

 

WHY are you doing this!

 

You SHOULD NOT have even KNOWN about his "move"

 

You should have been NC.

 

Yes I had trouble going NC with MY ex but he gave a damn about me we were in a committed R. We lived together. We both felt very loved.

 

THIS guy DOES NOT GIVE A CRAP ABOUT YOU.

 

Sorry, but he DELIBERATLEY does things that he KNOWS will hurt you:sick:

 

Telling you he has a girlfriend, JUST because he "enjoys" inflicting pain on you?

 

I am stunned.

 

You said you had a great career, the one you told me about? Well you have that going for you? You sound sweet and loyal? Intelligent?

 

Why no other relationships in 5 years?

 

That's crazy, dude. You would save yourself for a man who gave NO indication that he wanted to hold you in bed each night, as his girlfriend, in a committed relationship?

 

I cannot really even fathom doing that. 5 years is a joke.

 

 

Sorry but I am just really stunned that you would stay loyal to a guy who never once alluded to committing, or to wanting to spend a lot of time with you. Or to base his life around you the way a guy does when he is interested in making you a main part of his life.

 

I mean... Why did you stay loyal to a man who NEVER ONCE gave you ANY signs that he wanted to commit to you!>!

 

5 years?

 

I mean, I have no career and am still studying but man, I would have had a LOT of men interested within a 5 year period; I am not super model either, so ummm I guess I am baffled that you have not had any other men come along?

 

What did you do to the men (whom I am sure) were interested in getting to know you better during this time?

 

 

there were definately other ones that liked me, and ones i dated , but i just find it hard to focus on more than one guy at a time, so i didnt pursue anything with any others.

 

And just months before i met him both my parents died and during the past few years i was dealing with all sorts of fall out resulting from that, to do with property, family. Its not like i was in the best headspace to be looking for a boyfriend. So when i met him a couple of months into that, i just i think was using it as an escape, the sex i mean, as a comfort.

 

i dont know! I guess also i had a lot of career things going on, and maybe even if i hadnt have met him, i still might not have pursued anything with anyone else. I might have very well been single for five years anyway. I am really not one to spread myself around with men so to speak

Edited May 22, 2013 by mishy

[Simon Phoenix]

its probably my resentment of him, built up over that time, just wanting some satisfaction to know he is jealous, i know its sick, and pointless, but thats what it is

 

Well stop. It's counterproductive and prevents you from moving on. Go NC and get on with your life. Enough is enough.

[mishy]

I have been looking back over my threads and each one is usually about him doing something horrible. There have been so many times I could have just stopped seeing him and I don't know why I did. I mean the very first time he lied I DID stop seeing him for 6 months, but I went back! Why!? He is doing the exact same thing to me all this year, lying, so why did I think he would change?

 

I am an idiot

[youngnlove89]

I have been looking back over my threads and each one is usually about him doing something horrible. There have been so many times I could have just stopped seeing him and I don't know why I did. I mean the very first time he lied I DID stop seeing him for 6 months, but I went back! Why!? He is doing the exact same thing to me all this year, lying, so why did I think he would change?

 

I am an idiot

 

It happens until you don't let it anymore. I'm like you, always going back to the very thing that hurts me the most. One day you will wake up and have enough. If not, go see a therapist. Per protocol on Love Shack

[BustedUpInside]

Cut yourself some slack! I think every dumpee is allowed at least one "petty revenge" moment. Seriously, it is not that big of a deal that you were secretly laughing about his sad lie. I bet it feels kind of good that he was so jealous, after acting like he didn't care for so long. Now you can ignore him and move on knowing that you finally were able to "win" the break up

[mishy]

Cut yourself some slack! I think every dumpee is allowed at least one "petty revenge" moment. Seriously, it is not that big of a deal that you were secretly laughing about his sad lie. I bet it feels kind of good that he was so jealous, after acting like he didn't care for so long. Now you can ignore him and move on knowing that you finally were able to "win" the break up

 

i didnt even have to find out for sure he was lying, i just knew anyway because he has done it before. i just get a sixth sense about it

 

They only have to lie once and you pretty much cant believe anything they say ever again

[Leigh 87]

Mishy, this man is truly evil! He is callous, cold, and he cares more about himself than he will EVER care about ANY women.

 

It is rather sad; this man is not capable of truly loving someone in the DEEPEST possible way, because frankly: he has no heart.

 

NEVER be jealous. Of any girl he likes a little more than he likes you; feel SORRY FOR HER.

 

Dear god.

 

And DO accept dates from men who ARE interested in you!

[mishy]

Mishy, this man is truly evil! He is callous, cold, and he cares more about himself than he will EVER care about ANY women.

 

It is rather sad; this man is not capable of truly loving someone in the DEEPEST possible way, because frankly: he has no heart.

 

NEVER be jealous. Of any girl he likes a little more than he likes you; feel SORRY FOR HER.

 

Dear god.

 

And DO accept dates from men who ARE interested in you!

 

Leigh its just the lying i cant get over. Did you see that show "Sunday Night"on channel 7 about how those women didnt know they were married to serial killers? It really got me thinking about how much i really DIDN'T know about him, and how many dodgy holes there were in what i DID know.

 

So many of his lies and deceit was just plain unnecessary, ie it would have been EASIER to be honest.

[youngnlove89]

Mishy, you and I are in the same boat babe. I feel for you, and I know exactly how you feel.