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Posted

Is it bad to want someone similar to your ex?

 

I am with someone know who is very different from my ex. My ex-wife was very out-going, she was funny. She liked to have a good-time. She made me laugh.

 

My SO is timid, she is quiet in a group setting, she is more of the serious type (a little introverted). My ex is definitely an extrovert, as am I. Don’t get me wrong, my SO has a ton of great qualities - she is kind, gentle, very caring and very smart.

 

I just keep comparing my SO to my ex-wife. As much as I wanted this (or thought I did) I just keep thinking, as the relationship has evolved, that we are not a good-fit or maybe I’m not ready for a long-term relationship. My divorce/separation of my 16-year relationship with my wife ended only 16 months ago.

Posted

You are sure to have changed a lot in the 16 years you were married, so it's natural that your 'type' is different now. It's a good thing too. It means you have learned from experience and are less likely to repeat unhealthy relationship patterns.

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