mrsnaks Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 I have a really dumb question but it's sort of bugging me. I've been dating a guy for a couple of months. I've brought up Facebook and becoming friends. He says he will send me a friend request but he still hasn't. Should I be concerned that he's hiding something if he still hasn't 'friended' me? I've met his friends so I know he's not hiding me from his friends. We see each other at least a couple of times a week. I don't want to keep bugging him about him and I haven't asked him why he hasn't friended me. But part of me is concerned that maybe he's hiding something. Am I just being paranoid? Then why aren't we FB friends?? Any thoughts?
Jane2011 Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 I don't know that he's trying to 'hide' you, but something does seem awfully suspicious! Unless, that is, he doesn't log on very much. It could be that it just hasn't occurred to him. How much time does he spend on Facebook? Does he log on daily or what? 1
Author mrsnaks Posted May 21, 2013 Author Posted May 21, 2013 I don't know that he's trying to 'hide' you, but something does seem awfully suspicious! Unless, that is, he doesn't log on very much. It could be that it just hasn't occurred to him. How much time does he spend on Facebook? Does he log on daily or what? I haven't asked him how often he logs onto FB or how much he spends on FB. I'm on FB multiple times daily. He has already told me 3 times, most recently this past weekend, that he'll friend me and still haven't. Do you think I should ask him if he's hiding something and that's why he won't friend me? I'm thinking that I'll see something on his FB page that I'm not supposed to?
MidwestUSA Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 Have you sent him a friend request? I wouldn't worry about it. Read thru some threads here; the importance some people place on Facebook is alarming. In fact, it scares me that relationship decisions are based on Facebook statuses and such, and that fuel for arguments and breakups are determined by Facebook. Hell, it annoys me that my iPad capitalizes the damn F word! I love how one poster here referred to it: the curse on humanity that is Facebook. Relax! 3
todreaminblue Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 too much emphasis is placed on face book...i use it to stalk my teen girls......until they block me........then unblock me later.....i dont really use it to communicate other than ...."where are you get home now"......hence block imminent....... he just might not have a thing for face book...i would rejoice if i were you.....at elast he isnt posting ....i just went to the toilet....i dont feel so well....then five seconds later...my poo was green...i would not confront him about it...give it time and see what happens...this fact i am seconding THE CURSE OF HUMANITY IS FACEBOOK .....deb 4
MidwestUSA Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 LOL at Deb, on the toilet! Better yet, at The Bread Company AND on the toilet, haha! 1
todreaminblue Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 LOL at Deb, on the toilet! Better yet, at The Bread Company AND on the toilet, haha! smilin atcha........at the bread company AND ON THE TOILET and eating a croissant no wonder he felt sick....lol......deb
Author mrsnaks Posted May 21, 2013 Author Posted May 21, 2013 Have you sent him a friend request? I wouldn't worry about it. Read thru some threads here; the importance some people place on Facebook is alarming. In fact, it scares me that relationship decisions are based on Facebook statuses and such, and that fuel for arguments and breakups are determined by Facebook. Hell, it annoys me that my iPad capitalizes the damn F word! I love how one poster here referred to it: the curse on humanity that is Facebook. Relax! I can't search for him; he's blocked himself from being searched. But you're right. The last relationship I had, I was friends with him on FB and I was constantly 'stalking' him. Lol.
Author mrsnaks Posted May 21, 2013 Author Posted May 21, 2013 too much emphasis is placed on face book...i use it to stalk my teen girls......until they block me........then unblock me later.....i dont really use it to communicate other than ...."where are you get home now"......hence block imminent....... he just might not have a thing for face book...i would rejoice if i were you.....at elast he isnt posting ....i just went to the toilet....i dont feel so well....then five seconds later...my poo was green...i would not confront him about it...give it time and see what happens...this fact i am seconding .....deb You're right Deb. I shouldn't confront him. He might have reasons but I just can't help feeling he is hiding something and won't friend me because there's something on his profile he doesn't want me to see. I'll try and not let it bug me as much anymore. Thanks for the input. :-)
Author mrsnaks Posted May 21, 2013 Author Posted May 21, 2013 Jesus. What did kids your age do BEFORE Facebook existed? Lived their lives like normal people, that's what. Who the hell places all this childish importance on a freakin website? Pitiful. Lol. I literally aughed out loud. You're right. It is childish and damn me for putting so much importance on a fricking FB profile and being friends with someone. Ok I'm going to stop letting it bug me. Thanks for knocking some sense into my head. Lol.
AsonUnique Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 You gotta admit, FB has made a major impact on the dating scene and relationships in general. Today, changing your status to "in a relationship" or whatever is a big deal. Not saying I agree with it, but it's a fact for quite a significant portion of the population. Hopefully he just doesn't use FB much. You'll figure that out in time. I've told the girl I'm dating that I have a FB account but rarely use it, then the conversation shifted. I already have too many exes and girls that I've dated briefly on my FB and it gets awkward at times. (I usually still get along with these girls and it becomes a friendship...hence them still being on my friends list) 1
Author mrsnaks Posted May 21, 2013 Author Posted May 21, 2013 You gotta admit, FB has made a major impact on the dating scene and relationships in general. Today, changing your status to "in a relationship" or whatever is a big deal. Not saying I agree with it, but it's a fact for quite a significant portion of the population. Hopefully he just doesn't use FB much. You'll figure that out in time. I've told the girl I'm dating that I have a FB account but rarely use it, then the conversation shifted. I already have too many exes and girls that I've dated briefly on my FB and it gets awkward at times. (I usually still get along with these girls and it becomes a friendship...hence them still being on my friends list) He doesn't have to change his relationship status...at least not yet since we've only been dating a couple of months. But maybe several months into the relationship, I would expect him to but not necessary. I also hope he just doesn't use fb as much. Do you think I should ask him if he's on fb much or why he hasn't friended me? Whenever it's been brought up, his answer has just been "I'll friend you." nothing else like he's not on there much.
apple OR orange Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 i'm not agreeing with the whole facebook thing, however it has been pointed out before... no one learns to plough the field with a horse anymore... why, as we dont need to. Same as money and its visual value isnt taught in schools anymore, why, again its not needed (no one carries real cash, dont need it). So, Facebook, the new "online" thing, people are using this day to day, so people will complain about it and why others dont use it. Just saying... 1
TooPatient Posted May 22, 2013 Posted May 22, 2013 He doesn't have to change his relationship status...at least not yet since we've only been dating a couple of months. But maybe several months into the relationship, I would expect him to but not necessary. I also hope he just doesn't use fb as much. Do you think I should ask him if he's on fb much or why he hasn't friended me? Whenever it's been brought up, his answer has just been "I'll friend you." nothing else like he's not on there much. I see ppl on FB changing their relationship status twice a week...it gets ridiculous. Couple of months is plenty of time tho, but again he may not be a big FB user. It sounds like you've already brought it up at least once. I wouldn't bring it up again unless it comes up & is still bothering u. FB gets mentioned constantly in all forms of media, so it shouldn't be long before you'll get that chance to ask again. I get your concern tho. I have friends that have just deleted their FB bc their playa ways were catching up to them. If he's introduced u to his friends in real time tho, I wouldn't worry too much about FB. 1
Author mrsnaks Posted May 22, 2013 Author Posted May 22, 2013 I see ppl on FB changing their relationship status twice a week...it gets ridiculous. Couple of months is plenty of time tho, but again he may not be a big FB user. It sounds like you've already brought it up at least once. I wouldn't bring it up again unless it comes up & is still bothering u. FB gets mentioned constantly in all forms of media, so it shouldn't be long before you'll get that chance to ask again. I get your concern tho. I have friends that have just deleted their FB bc their playa ways were catching up to them. If he's introduced u to his friends in real time tho, I wouldn't worry too much about FB. I understand he had a life before me including ex girlfriends. I wouldn't care seeing his ex's on his FB...they were part of his life...I also have ex's on mine. So that's not a big deal to me at all. I know he cares about me and even invited me out to meet his family this past weekend (I passed because I wasn't feeling well). Everytime I've brought it up, I've never made a big deal about it and if the opportunity comes up again, maybe I'll ask but I don't want to hassle him about it. I just need to learn to just not let this whole FB thing get to me. :-)
Keenly Posted May 22, 2013 Posted May 22, 2013 Facebook ruins relationships. Its actually healthier if you are not Facebook friends. Too Much of this "why are you liking her status" or "who's this girl posting on your wall" insecurity. I had to explain to my ex every...single....person... posting on my wall. Its exhausting. Just letit go. Its okay to have your own things. You don't need to be connected in every possible way. 3
Author mrsnaks Posted May 22, 2013 Author Posted May 22, 2013 Facebook ruins relationships. Its actually healthier if you are not Facebook friends. Too Much of this "why are you liking her status" or "who's this girl posting on your wall" insecurity. I had to explain to my ex every...single....person... posting on my wall. Its exhausting. Just letit go. Its okay to have your own things. You don't need to be connected in every possible way. That is a very good point. In my last relationship, I had to question my ex about a girl who kept liking every single one of his post. I wasn't threatened only because she didn't live in the same state. I also started questioning girls he became friends with. I'm not really insecure...well, sometimes (lol) but I could definitely see myself being FB insecure. Thanks for that...it really helps.
veggirl Posted May 22, 2013 Posted May 22, 2013 He's hiding something. If he thinks you're a crazy psycho who will freak out about his fb friends why would he be dating you? Next time you're together just say I've asked you to add me 3x and you haven't. That is weird. Could you do it now while we are here together? No one with nothing to hide would refuse to add their significant other, straight up. 2
Keenly Posted May 22, 2013 Posted May 22, 2013 He's hiding something. If he thinks you're a crazy psycho who will freak out about his fb friends why would he be dating you? Next time you're together just say I've asked you to add me 3x and you haven't. That is weird. Could you do it now while we are here together? No one with nothing to hide would refuse to add their significant other, straight up. I would. I have nothing to hide. 1
veggirl Posted May 25, 2013 Posted May 25, 2013 I would. I have nothing to hide. Well you need a better "people picker" then if you date girls who freak out over legitimately innocent things on fb. are they teenagers or something?
veggirl Posted May 25, 2013 Posted May 25, 2013 Facebook ruins relationships. Its actually healthier if you are not Facebook friends. Too Much of this "why are you liking her status" or "who's this girl posting on your wall" insecurity. I had to explain to my ex every...single....person... posting on my wall. Its exhausting. Just letit go. Its okay to have your own things. You don't need to be connected in every possible way. erm, no. It's actually healthier if you date adults and are an adult who can use FB appropriately and not act like spazzes.
Keenly Posted May 25, 2013 Posted May 25, 2013 erm, no. It's actually healthier if you date adults and are an adult who can use FB appropriately and not act like spazzes. Right well I don't know where you live but this is america, where the girls are insecure and analyze every thing you do / say. Besides, its okay for people in a relationship to have their own things. You don't have to be connected 24/7 . 1
Fondue Posted May 25, 2013 Posted May 25, 2013 I purposefully avoid adding dating prospects to my FB. I just tell them that I don't think it's necessary and it adds to drama. In fact, I have a personal rule that I do not request friendship with anyone. Only way is if they request me... But that's not easily done, as my name is written in Cyrillic in FB, so no one can find me =d. You'd have to go through one of my friends to get to me, hahahahahha.
ChessPieceFace Posted May 25, 2013 Posted May 25, 2013 To me it seems really odd that he wouldn't add you after dating for MONTHS. If you slept with him really soon, maybe he's just playing you.
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