Author AsonUnique Posted May 23, 2013 Author Posted May 23, 2013 Iced, I'm really sorry that I came off as over-generalizing Asian women. I hate offending people. I had a 3 year relationship with a Chinese/Vietnamese mixed gal and it seems most of my friends have an actual Asian fetish. I don't, but I'm open to dating all races. I've also been on a few dates with other Asians, one Korean and a couple Filipinas. (do I have an Asian fetish too? ****! lol) My point is that, race aside, no other girl I've dated has had the same methods as this particular Chinese girl. I've come to realize it's definitely not an "Asian thing." So again, I apologize. I think it's fair to say that you're right, she really seems to like being courted and chased. It's a shame though because we hit it off so well and I'm just not a chaser.
Author AsonUnique Posted May 23, 2013 Author Posted May 23, 2013 since you know it all so well dont waste our time in here. thats why your dating is such a success, sad Damn, I keep offending people. Rosas, I'm just bouncing my thoughts off people to figure out the best approach. I appreciated your input and specifically thanked you for it... is everything ok? Am I really coming off as a huge @$$ hole here?
icedlatte Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 Am I really coming off as a huge @$$ hole here? I don't think so. I think whenever race and culture are discussed, someone's bound to be offended. Geez, the Asian fetish. Sadly, it does exist.
Author AsonUnique Posted May 23, 2013 Author Posted May 23, 2013 I don't think so. I think whenever race and culture are discussed, someone's bound to be offended. Geez, the Asian fetish. Sadly, it does exist. True, and I see that I was insensitive in earlier posts when I was trying to use humor....but I honestly don't know what I said that set off Rosas.
Author AsonUnique Posted May 24, 2013 Author Posted May 24, 2013 (edited) So I made the decision after we talked Tuesday that I was going to wait and see if this girl would actually initiate contact with me...I've carried the contact through our 2.5 weeks of knowing each other. After our good night texts Tuesday, I haven't initiated any calls or texts, and now it's Friday and I haven't heard from her either. It's tough for me to imagine someone's principles about not initiating contact would keep them from contacting a person they're really into. I've just never dated a girl that does this. I looked back and she actually has initiated about 3 texts/contacts. 1 was her texting me the very first time after giving her my #. Another was a pic she randomly sent while away at a conference and then the 3rd was a text letting me know she landed at the airport from the conference trip. Those occurred after our first date. Point is, she actually HAS contacted me in an instance where she wasn't replying to me. I got some great feedback here from LS members, thanks again btw! The general consensus seemed to be that indeed she has some personal preference to be contacted first for every conversation, it's not cultural it's personal, and it's up to me if I want to pursue. If she's not into me, she deserves an academy award for her performance on those 3 dates...and when we're texting (after I initiate of course) she often sends a cute pic of her winking or something...which she did in her last text to me Tuesday. But, I could just be a boy toy that can be thrown away, that's how I'm feeling anyway. I would be fine with that, but I'm not going to pay for dates just to be a woman's play toy. I can do that for free with someone else...plus it's not what I'd prefer. Called my best friend a bit ago and he was surprised I hadn't heard from her. He basically said in a less PC way to just forget about her. His Chinese girlfriend however is telling me (guessing) this girl is waiting for me and I should call her, set another date & then talk to her about what she thinks of us so far. His gf also wants me to schedule a double date, thinking she could help me get a better picture of this girl since they're both Chinese. His gf's and you LS member's advice sounds the most logical, but honestly, not hearing from this girl for 2 days left such a bad taste in my mouth. I'm giving myself until later this evening to figure out what the hell I want to do. I even asked Jesus what he thought and I think he just shrugged like "do what you feel." Thanks again for all the feedback and giving me a place to spill these random thoughts! P { margin-bottom: 0.08in; } Edited May 24, 2013 by AsonUnique
xpaperxcutx Posted May 24, 2013 Posted May 24, 2013 I'm Chinese and i can tell you right now this girl was high maintenance and she expected to be treated as such. That meant she expected you to pay each and every single time. She's the kind of girl looking to marry up. She dated you because you were interested in her, and it doesn't matter if you ever contact her again. 1
Author AsonUnique Posted May 24, 2013 Author Posted May 24, 2013 (edited) I'm Chinese and i can tell you right now this girl was high maintenance and she expected to be treated as such. That meant she expected you to pay each and every single time. She's the kind of girl looking to marry up. She dated you because you were interested in her, and it doesn't matter if you ever contact her again. Certainly makes sense based on the facts. There's a few votes for me to forget about her. Honest question, if in my situation, would anyone pursue to at least sleep with the person after already putting in the time? I mean, it may be all she's wanting from me anyway? I feel so used... lol Edited May 24, 2013 by AsonUnique
icedlatte Posted May 24, 2013 Posted May 24, 2013 Certainly makes sense based on the facts. There's a few votes for me to forget about her. Honest question, if in my situation, would anyone pursue to at least sleep with the person after already putting in the time? I mean, it may be all she's wanting from me anyway? I feel so used... lol Well, we know that she's not looking for a serious relationship. But she's not looking for a hookup either. Haha, she's looking for a sugar daddy although it's ironic because she supposedly makes more. Well, how much is it going to cost until you seal the deal? If it's more than you can take, then dude, just walk away and find someone else. 1
Author AsonUnique Posted May 25, 2013 Author Posted May 25, 2013 So... she actually broke the silence. After 3 full days, her text to me tonight was "just left my lap dancing class." What!? hahaha
ShannAT Posted May 25, 2013 Posted May 25, 2013 I am half White and half Chinese, so based on my knowledge I'm just going to give my opinion. It can be her cultural tradition as to why she doesn't text you first because she seems very traditional in how you describe her dress, the cheongsams. My mother's Chinese, and no one wears them day to day on her side of the family...so IMO, that strikes me as traditional. On another note, many Asian people are very tech savvy, and you said she's a business woman, so she must use her phone a lot...I come to the conclusion that she rather you initiate conversation. Many Chinese women that are traditional and very much career/education driven, they, to me, are looking to have a great career, then find a man to marry and settle down with. I agree with xpaperxcutx, she seems high maintenance, and feels as though you need to treat her in the deserving manner. Either way, kind of rude for her to make you pay for the candy without even a warning/asking. Overall, I just think she wants you to initiate everything and treat her in the way she feels she should be. Plus, I think she rather you chase her, leaving her to be a little more "hard to get." Think about it, a lot of people don't like to initiate text because that leaves them waiting/hoping for a reply. I hope I helped at least a little , I understand how much she's confusing you. Hopefully, you don't mind the possible high maintenance she may be, lol.
Author AsonUnique Posted May 26, 2013 Author Posted May 26, 2013 Hey thanks ShannAT, I agree with everything you said. I ended up replying to her text and then we had a short conversation about what we've been up to the last few days. Today I just went back to not texting her, but I'm likely going to hang out with her again and see where it goes. My expectations aren't where they once were tho.
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