bob the brave Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 (edited) Let's face it a lot, if not almost all, the posts here are really about personal problems not relationship issues. That is, although we may post about relationship issues, they most often result from self-esteem issues, selfishness and not understanding what a healthy relationship truly is. Either we or our SO bring baggage that the other eventually has to help carry. Girls with self-esteem issues go for bad boys. Why? In part because winning the unobtainable proves to them they have value. Then, of course they get used and dumped for another girl which further hurts their self-esteem. A vortex which I have seen turn some girls into burned-out haigs that will evenually do any guy for a cirgarette and 5 minutes of kindness because they have no self-respect and just no longer care. This is extreme but many girls do this to varying degrees. A lot of guys think it is manly to do a lot of women, the chase, winning them over, proves their worth to themselves and strokes there self-esteem. Locker room braiging is awesome. There is often more talk of who scored off the field then on. Remember, when we enter into a relationship for purely personal reasons, both parties will eventually get hurt. We know this, but sometimes we are weak, often if can be hard to tell when this is the case. Girls, give the 'nice' guy and chance. Don't worry he is too easy. Don't worry about your self-esteem. You may be surprised at how happy you can be. Guys, slow down, you don't have to bang every skirt in town. It dosen't make you a man. Learn to love othrs and not use them. Don't worry about your self-esteem. Learn to love a bit and see the happiness it can bring. Luckily there is a safeguard that can prevent the heartache, the pain, the crying, the posting - RESPECT. This is 100% cure for virtually ALL the issues on LS. Having respect for yourself and others will always be your guide to a safe journey in love and other endeavors in life. Keep it with you at all times, use it generously. This prevents hurt, but how to find love? Care more for others than yourself. I don't mean become a doormat, that circles back to respect. I mean focus your love outward rather than inward. Loving others gives purpose to your life and takes self-esteem and persnoal issues out of a relationship where it truly has no place. Focusing selfishly on what you want from the other, creates self-esteem issues and makes a relationship a game, rather than a symbiotic bond. Relationships are a union, a pact, an agreement bewteen two people to form a supportive team that makes life, easier, more fun, happier and meaningful. It has nothing to do with self-esteem. It has nothing to do with valuing self. Do not look to other to determine that. Respect and a generous heart. Both are essential for a healthy relationship. If you are having relationship issues, don't get caught up in the specifics, the noise. Return to the basics and use this as a simple litmus test. If you find yourself lacking, work on it. If you find your partner lacking, help them to find these qualities without sacrifcing your own. If neither one or both of you cannot satisfy this test, move on. Edited May 21, 2013 by bob the brave
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