bisonsf4 Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 This is going to be kind of long, sorry I'm overly detailed. Okay to start off this girl is a waitress at a restaurant I semi-frequent. This restaurant is constantly busy. I am a decent tipper but nothing special. Waitress's name is Ashley, she is 20 years old. I've had a vibe this girl liked me first time we had her. I don't remember much of what happened the first time we had her except that I made her laugh, she then brought us extra croissants for no reason, and she seemed a bit nervous/shy around me... she actually took the bill away before we even paid for it lol. Though we still had to pay I don't think we saw her for over a week after the first time we had her, but she remembered me and what I ordered, though i know the 2nd part isnt a big deal. She said she remembered what I ordered because its her favorite thing to and she gets it just like I do which is without the veggies. She has brought up that its her favorite thing and the same way she gets it 1000 times over the last 2 or 3 months when I see her there. Whether or not she is my waitress she will always come say hi to me and sometimes strike conversation. One time her sister (Jenny) who just started working there and Ashley both came up to me (neither were my waitress) and we all talked about a prank I and the hostess played on Jenny about a week earlier (Jenny didn't know us and the hostess told her I was a real restaurant critic which isn't true). During this conversation Ashley brought up a time a couple weeks earlier when she said hi to me (she wasnt my waitress that night) and I called her by name and she said she kept thinking to herself "damn why didnt i ask for his name then". So when I told her it was Ken she was like "i knew youd have a short cool name like that". Next time I was there a couple weeks later I asked for another waitress we hadn't seen in awhile...Ashley found out and comes up me says something like "you come here and ask for Michelle your supposed to ask for me or my sister blah blah". She was just messing around tho. Weird thing is she knew I asked for Michelle, so I wonder if she asked the hostess if i asked for her. Anyways last I went to the restaurant after work and have Ashley. Both her and her sister are working Ashley and I talked about the prank we played on her sister again and stuff like that. Ashley also brought up a story I told Jenny a few days earlier when I was at the restaurant when Jenny was our waitress and asked me about it. Jenny was also working that night and came by and said hi and we talked for a bit. While she and I were talking Ashley was peeking at us from the other side of booths. Jenny is the one that saw her and she just started laughing and said "what is she doing?!" then Ashley laughed and left. At the very end of the dinner when she handed me the credit card slip i had to fill out she said "so have u seen any movies in theaters lately hangover 3 is coming out I saw the great gatsby and blah blah" and she just brought this up out of no where. I felt like she was baiting me to ask her out there, because it was the very very end of the dinner and she just started rambling from what I remember.. I asked her when Hangover 3 is coming out and after she responded I said "we should go" and she agreed so I asked for her number. But then as we talked she was like "we can go and we can bring my sister"..then after another some more talking she is like "ya my sister will come and ill bring some of my friends too". Then a bit after that she mentioned how she recently had a birthday and invited a bunch of people and almost no one came. I really thought this girl had a small crush but the fact that wants to bring other people makes me thing this is totally platonic. We did text a just a little that night.. i texted her my number right after dinner then she responded at about 1:00AM saying she just got home and we had some small talk nothing substantial. I've heard it might just be better to forget situations like this, but if there is an opportunity there I'd rather go for it. What do you think?
gaius Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 Tell her you want to get to know her better and it should just be you and her. See what she says. If you can't get rid of the friends then go anyway and make sure to impress them all. Then try to get her alone next time. 2
Mrlonelyone Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 What gaius said. Remember to a young woman in particular, what her friends think of you, and what her family thinks of you, matter as much if not more than what she thinks of you. They may screw a man once or twice without that stamp of approval but they will not date him. 1
JonasB Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 I want to bring friends = im not interested in you sexually. If you need anything else translated from female to english let me know. 2
jakelongot Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 Don't listen to the above posts... I would go to the movie with no expectations and just have fun. Show her that you are a fun guy outside of coming in to eat at her restaurant. If you both have a good time, ask her out on a formal date. She seems interested, but she has never seen you outside the restaurant setting. Prove to her that you are a cool guy. Besides, a movie is a terrible first date. No talking in the theatre for 2 hours.
Ed the 3rd Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 Not gonna BS you dude that is a sign she isn't interested. 1
Treasa Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 Are you sure it's not her sister who is interested in you and maybe she's trying to play matchmaker?
crederer Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 Depending on your age, this could be just a comfort thing. My last girlfriend and I met by going as a group. I didn't know they were trying to set us up it just kind of happened but it turns out they intentionally had us both be there (and apparently tried doing this a couple of times prior but either her or I couldn't make it on those prior occasions). Don't think about it too much and just go for it. Rejection from a near stranger really isn't that bad. The idea of it is much worse than when it actually happens. Also yeah, maybe her sister wants you and she was setting that up. Is her sister cute? 1
KraftDinner Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 Are you sure it's not her sister who is interested in you and maybe she's trying to play matchmaker? This is a strong possibility. I have a rule I feel all guys should follow: treat "interest" from waitresses with a grain of salt. Everyone I know whohas ever been interested in one has thought hi situation was different but just keep your eyes open. Go and have a good time. Sounds like the sister might be into you. Or the one you like may be too. Go with no expectations. I have to agree with the others though: bringing her friends is a sign of lack of interest. 1
gaius Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 I have a rule I feel all guys should follow: treat "interest" from waitresses with a grain of salt. Everyone I know whohas ever been interested in one has thought hi situation was different but just keep your eyes open. Normally I would go with this too, but something about his story made me think he might be the 1 in 100 who's got legitimate interest. It's definately worth pursuing though. He's got the phone number already and she's responding to texts so far. You don't have much to lose and a lot to gain.
therhythm Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 Are you sure it's not her sister who is interested in you and maybe she's trying to play matchmaker? To me it sounds exactly as she is playing matchmaker for her sister
Author bisonsf4 Posted May 21, 2013 Author Posted May 21, 2013 (edited) I kind of thought about the sister but im not sure. Jenny tho is definitely shy. In fact the last time I was there Ashley kind of joked that Jenny is "scared" of me lol. When I asked why she said its because she always messes up our orders lol. Its true but we never gave her any grief over it. When jenny came by to say hi i mentioned this (teasing of course) and she started smiling and was like "what no im not Ashley is the one who is scared" or something like that. That was right around she caught Ashley peeking. Then when Ashley mentioned bringing her sister to the movie she said it like "well bring my sister... Even tho she is scared" lol. Jenny is a year younger than Ashley... And they both look very similar. Almost like twins tbh. That is odd tho why would Ashley pull her sister into it like that without even talking to her about it first.. Edited May 21, 2013 by bisonsf4
musemaj11 Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 Now you will have to pay for her, her sister, and her friends. LOL 1
Author bisonsf4 Posted May 21, 2013 Author Posted May 21, 2013 How do know they haven't discussed you? Sorry i meant she didn't ask Jenny about going to the movies with me because that was all one conversation between me and Ashley at the end of the dinner. They have talked about me outside of work it seems. In the original post i mentioned how Ashley asked me about something I told Jenny when Jenny was our waitress a few days earlier (Ashley wasn't there that day).
ITw Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 Bringing a friend along was probably just a comfort thing in the beginning. Don't sweat it. Just ask her out on a date and tell her you'd like it to be just the two of you so you can get to know each other.
Author bisonsf4 Posted May 21, 2013 Author Posted May 21, 2013 Now you will have to pay for her, her sister, and her friends. LOL I would never do that. Id just leave if it came to that lol.
pteromom Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 One of three things.... 1. the sister is interested in you and waitress is playing matchmaker 2. waitress is nervous about going out alone with a guy she doesn't know well, and the friends/sister are just so she isn't as scared 3. she only thinks of you as a friend Only one way to find out - go out and see!
mortensorchid Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 No no, if she wants to bring friends with her then she's saying she's not romantically interested in you. Tell her you'd rather have just you and her, if she says no then that's your answer.
Author bisonsf4 Posted May 21, 2013 Author Posted May 21, 2013 (edited) One of three things.... 1. the sister is interested in you and waitress is playing matchmaker 2. waitress is nervous about going out alone with a guy she doesn't know well, and the friends/sister are just so she isn't as scar of you as a friend Only one way to find out - go out and see! Well if i do go how should i go about it? The movie comes out this Friday. She normally works Fridays and Saturdays (she told me this a month ago). We haven't texted sincr the one time i mentioned after we exchanged numbers. My last text to her was a something funny i told her, she responded like 30min later with "lmao thats funny". That was almost like at like 3am Saturday.. The other texts before that were a lot quicker but we didn't say too much tho it was already about 2am when we texted. I didnt reply to lmao thats funny text. Should i text her? Wait and see if she'll text me? Go to the restaurant Friday and talk to her? Edited May 21, 2013 by bisonsf4
RedRobin Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 I won't go on a 'date' with a man I haven't witnessed in person around other people first... and usually many times. Especially these days when guys have it set on their mind that sex has to happen by a certain 'date'. So yea, of course, I'm going to drag out the get to know you process as long as possible before doing anything with him that will be construed as a date. That's the only way women who don't have a habit of jumping into bed with strangers can even think about getting to know a guy these days without all the pressure.
RedRobin Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 Yeah nothing like having someone holding your hand while on a date. If you need your friends there all the time to stop you from having sex to early, you shouldn't be dating. If the guy needs to get me alone ASAP and can't be bothered to get to know me any other way, then he doesn't deserve my time.
pteromom Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 Should i text her? Wait and see if she'll text me? Go to the restaurant Friday and talk to her? Either 1 or 3. Not 2. Take charge and make some kind of move. Personally, I'd text her, because it is easy and because you wouldn't have to worry about disrupting her work. She gave you her #, so at a minimum she wants to be friends. So text her. I wouldn't listen to all the nay-sayers. They could be right - it is possible she isn't into you. But what if she IS? Then you miss out on an opportunity based on a guess. Never do that. Always take the risks and go for it. Because even if 99 girls mean a certain thing when they do a certain thing, there is always that last one that thinks completely differently. Unless she TELLS you she isn't into you, assume it is a possibility that she is.
RedRobin Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 unless she tells you she isn't into you, assume it is a possibility that she is. bingo!!..... 1
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