NorthGirl Posted September 30, 2004 Posted September 30, 2004 I woke up this morning with a whole new outlook on something that has been bothering me for about four months. I hope this is the right category to be posting this in because we haven't done anything...here goes: I am madly in love with a guy in my office, we work closely together and I know that he is attracted to me also. The problem is of course that he is married. I know that I personally could never have an affair and I know that he would not do it either. I'm not making any judgements on any other people who may have had an affair; I used to think "What kind of woman would do that? It's another woman's husband. What kind of terrible person must she be? How could you even start something like that?" After getting to know this man and what wonderful person he is, I couldn't help but fall madly in love with him. I now know how something like this could happen; you never mean for it to happen or even want it to happen...it just happens....somewhere deep inside you begin caring about the M person. I've been going crazy, not knowing how to proceed with my life if I couldn't be with this man, have his children, wake up to him each morning, and be the person he kisses and touches every night before going to sleep. I was thinking of all the things I wanted to share with this man, do with this man....and all the rest. I was torturing myself with sad love songs, going home at night and sitting alone in my house..not connecting with people or going out with my friends. I've been running every possible scenario through my head....it's enough to make a sane person crazy! Anyway...as for my new outlook this morning! I woke up this morning and realized that if I won't have an affair and neither will he and if I continue on the path I'm on with all these crazy thoughts...I'm going to lose his friendship and I value his friendship. I am wasting energy pining away for what will never be and that energy could be used to make my single life more happy which could lead to meeting a great single man. I want someone with whom I can share holidays, birthdays, silly thoughts, serious thoughts, meet my family...someone I wouldn't have to "hide" with...and he is not that person. I feel rejuvinated to have more fun in my life and be a better friend to all my friends and family! Thanks for reading my little rant....typing it out made me feel better. NG
LittleMiss Posted September 30, 2004 Posted September 30, 2004 It's great that you have come to that relalization. I wish I could have been strong enough in the beginning to let go of my MM. When things were not looking too good for us and I thought for sure that he was never going to leave his wife he ended up surprising me. He is leaving her and has already told her so. He is moving out Friday. I'm happy that now I know that he cares enough about me and was truly unhappy in his marriage to make this huge a step. He will be moving to west texas and has asked me if I would go up there with him when he gets settled. I can't believe this is really happeneing. I feel like it's too good to be real. The other night I was thinking the same things as you. That I wanted him for myself to spend my birthday with, holidays with and just be with. I have a son also. He is so good with him and he is including him in everything we talk about. I'm so happy, but at the same time I'm trying not to get too excited because things can always change.
Fran_H Posted September 30, 2004 Posted September 30, 2004 [He is moving out Friday. ] Tabatha, you do realise that saying he is going to move out and actually moving out are two completely different things. Prepare youself for a big let down tomorrow, because if he was going to leave he would not have put it off till Friday. He will have a good reason for not doing it though. Be sure to post again on Saturday and let us know what his reason was. I can tell you a few... 1) Wife has fallen apart and he cannot leave her in that state as she has to care for the kids 2) Dog has to have an operation and kids are upset 3) He has developed a bad knee and cannot hardly walk let alone move out 4) One of his children is having problems at school - might not be a good time 5) Someone birthday coming up in the next few weeks - better leave it till after then. North girl - Well done for spotting all the pitfalls of this relationship before you get involved. I'm sure many of us wish that we could turn back the clock. If I could go back to the beginning I would run in the opposite direction and never look back.
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