Mauigirl8 Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 For those of you that read my previous posted basically had a long distant thing with a guy who was coming to see me in June we met in feb but he has been in az for college. Long story short I jeopardized everything by acting like a physco emotionally unstable b. I doubted his feelings a few times, yelled at him for liking a girls pic on Instagram and a lot more childish insane behavior. The last time we spoke was last night when I tried to use sex to entice him again. Did not work at all. He called off the trip last week since he told me he does like me he still finds me beautiful and a good person but that he's seen this pattern with woman before and I scared him off. All I wan him is back. I was so excited for him to come see me. We haven't gone more than 30 hours without talking in the last 4 months. If I stop contacting him for at least a few weeks and change my behavior could be possibly still Come see me?
aisuru Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 NO, YOU ARE BEING RIDICULOUS. If I read this right, you met this guy in January. Kept in touch via internet and texts probably. Were set to meet him again in June. You MESSED up. Big time. The more you pursue, the more you push him away and confirm to him that canceling his trip was the right decision. You reek of desperation and crazy. STEP AWAY FROM CONTACTING HIM NOW. Preserve some dignity.
Janesays Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 You're not going to get different responses by starting another thread. You got your answer in the last thread. This is OVER. If you keep acting Looney tunes and sending him naked pics, you just might end up with a restraining order. Don't you have any self respect? You look crazy desperate and pathetic to this guy and to most of the posters here. That's not a good look for anyone. So QUIT THIS. This guy is not the end of the world. 1
Author Mauigirl8 Posted May 21, 2013 Author Posted May 21, 2013 Im sorry I'm upset and thought I could use this website to express my feelings. No need to be rude, we're all entitled to vent sometimes
Author Mauigirl8 Posted May 21, 2013 Author Posted May 21, 2013 Agreed! Thanks for the help! Sometimes you just gotta get shaked to realize that's the last thing you wanna do
Janesays Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 Im sorry I'm upset and thought I could use this website to express my feelings. No need to be rude, we're all entitled to vent sometimes We can see that you're upset. Scary upset. Which is why we're begging you to get control of yourself asap and leave this guy alone. You don't want to be THAT girl, do you? My suggestion for you is counseling. You are obviously easily overwhelmed and not self aware to realize when you're behaviour turns alarming. You need someone to help you professionally. Please make that appointment.
Author Mauigirl8 Posted May 21, 2013 Author Posted May 21, 2013 Yeah I'm done contacting him for a while. Its not going to change anything, it just sucks cause we got along so great but I probably should have considered I found our connection valuable before acting like Courtney love FML
Author Mauigirl8 Posted May 21, 2013 Author Posted May 21, 2013 We all mess up! I know my behavior with him was unacceptable. I plan to learn from it, mature and not act this way again.
BustedUpInside Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 your post definitely brings back some memories from when I was young and crazy. Everyone can clearly see what you were trying to do. You wanted to make him like you, make him respond the way you wanted, make him have all these feelings for you, but unfortunately they just weren't there. What you will come to realize as you get older is that you really can't make anyone do anything. What you will have is a lot of wasted effort and hurt feelings. All you can do is put your feelings out there and hope the object of your affection responds in kind. All that being said, you did kind of go over the top, right? Let me put it a different way. Take this guy out of the equation. Say you met a new guy tomorrow. He seems pretty cool and cute. You guys have a nice connection and you decide that you would like to see where things go. You make plans, chat regularly. Slowly, but surely, he starts to get weirdly jealous and controlling. He accuses you of cheating, talking to other guys, and all sorts of other crazy statements. You try to calm him down at first, but it gets to be too much and you figure it is time to cut your losses and just meet someone new. He seemed like a good catch but all that drama just killed any spark you had. Instead of being mature and respecting your decision to go your separate ways, he cyberstalks you and emails and texts you incessantly. Would that behavior make you want to try again or to change your name? Even if that guy suddenly acted normal again, you probably wouldn't want to give it another go because there would be the nagging thought that he would revert back to the former crazy that drove you away in the first place. See what everyone is trying to tell you. You went too far and nothing you can do will change that impression. However, all is not lost. There are plenty more guys out there who don't have any impression formed of you at all and would probably love to take a chance on a relationship. This will just have to be a lesson learned for you to take into future connections. Sorry if that wasn't what you want to hear though. I hate when I can't correct someone's negative opinion of me due to uncharacteristic behavior. 2
aisuru Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 This is a supportive forum, but we do react pretty strongly when we see somebody about to do something totally unhealthy for them. Would you prefer we encourage your crazy urges? No, you wouldn't. So accept our strong words in the spirit they are intended. Most of us speak from experience my dear friend. Like, I'll bet you're in your early to mid 20s. Why do you think I would know that? Hmmmm.... BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN THERE, DONE THAT. I'm your mom. On the interwebs. 4
Author Mauigirl8 Posted May 21, 2013 Author Posted May 21, 2013 This is better than Valium for me thank you you finally put in perspective. No matter how much you try once an impression is made thats it. Makes my behavior all the more regrettable but there's no time machine. Thank you
Author Mauigirl8 Posted May 21, 2013 Author Posted May 21, 2013 Yup letting go is the only way to know of something is going to work. I almost annoy myself Now when we have conversations anywas because i sound so pathetic Haha. Thanks for the help!
Author Mauigirl8 Posted May 21, 2013 Author Posted May 21, 2013 21! Well I appreciate the motherly support! I need the tough love tonight so I didn't have another conversation with myself on his phone
aisuru Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 EXACTLY. And that is why you come here. To get support.
aisuru Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 Ah, 21. Yep, you get to make all these errors so you know not to make them again. Don't be too hard on yourself. Loads of lessons will be learned from this, after you swallow the humiliation a bit, see this as a positive. THANK GOODNESS the internet was just starting to be used when I was 21. And I was a good girl back in those days. OYE. I still had my moments in my mid 20s. Repeat after me, "I will never send naked pictures to anybody I'm not married to." Over and over and over. Hell, I'm not even sure I would do that at this rate. I've done it in my past... but I've decided it's not who I am and doesn't attract the kind of guy I want or deserve. Even my ex didn't get "naughty" pics or texts from me. And he still loved me and still wanted me. You can do better than that. Don't let any man objectify you. And don't you dare objectify yourself to get the attention of a man. YOU DESERVE MORE THAN THAT. 1
aisuru Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 Yeah, I've never done the nude pics either. Too much potential for them to fall into the wrong hands... Well, duh, I know that now! I'm also a little further advanced in my career and really don't need that stuff to show up now. HAHA 1
aisuru Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 Watch out Mauigirl8, we'll suck you into our world. It's how this place seems to work...
Author Mauigirl8 Posted May 21, 2013 Author Posted May 21, 2013 I dont mind sending naked pics when it's part of normal mutual conservation. Sending a pic of your booty to get him to have feelings for you however is probably behavior I need to steer clear of oh lord haha
Author Mauigirl8 Posted May 21, 2013 Author Posted May 21, 2013 I don't mind! It's nice to be able to vent and get real advice My friends just respond with I can't deal with this anymore haha 1
aisuru Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 I dont mind sending naked pics when it's part of normal mutual conservation. Sending a pic of your booty to get him to have feelings for you however is probably behavior I need to steer clear of oh lord haha EXACTLY. I promise you... any man who wants naked pics of you for the hell of it when you're not in a relationship (and quite honestly probably even if you are in a relationship) is not a man you want to be with or should spend energy on.
aisuru Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 I don't mind! It's nice to be able to vent and get real advice My friends just respond with I can't deal with this anymore haha Hmmm, deep thought. What does that tell you? Do you obsess/talk about guys CONSTANTLY? If so, knock it off. Find some of your own interests that do not include the XY chromosome mix. Nobody wants that girl as their friend and you do not want to be that girl. Your identify shouldn't be tied in whether a guy likes you or not, ya know?
Tinie Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 "I hate when I can't correct someone's negative opinion of me due to uncharacteristic behavior." True that. Mauigirl, how I feel you! A few months I did that myself and scared a guy off because of my irrational and totally psychopathic behaviour. It happens. Maybe it's even a good thing you screwed up now rather than later, because the sooner you can learn and take note of your mistakes. 1
Simon Phoenix Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 You were a stage 5 clinger to a guy you just met. No guys like a Stage 5 clinger. Lesson learned. And don't send naked pics to people. 10 bucks says he's shown them to all of his friends by now. 1
Recommended Posts