ChckDlta Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 This is worse than Groundhog day! Doing the same feel strong/setback, feel strong/setback cycle over and over and over. Working with the ex makes NC impossible... and though he has honored his promise to not keep wasting my time with "please forgive me"s, every point of contact he sees as an open door. A chance to say he misses me. Or loves me still. Or ask how my day or night or weekend went. Picture me giving a straight answer to that: "My day? I woke up and thought about you, thought about you and her, thought about what a screw up you are, thought about what we will never be, then got out of bed. Went to work, cried in the bathroom when you walked in and now here we are." Every day I start over hoping that I can get through a day without having to talk to or see him or look him directly in the eye. never happens. Feel I am going to be stuck here in this cycle 'til they fire him...and that day ain't coming any time soon. I know there isn't really a good solution to this. I just needed to vent and be here and read others posts. And vent. I know 3 weeks is not a long time to give yourself to be over something, but this feeling is new to me and I'm struggling. He has affected the un-affectable (until now). I hate the lack of control over my own emotions.
aisuru Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 Here is what you say to him, "I don't miss you and have no interest in hearing you say you miss me. Please stop it or I will go to Human Resources." Okay, well maybe not that second part, but you get the drift. You need to tell him something cold, hard, and probably not true to make him stop. "I no longer have feelings for you and ask that you leave me alone. I will not tell you this again." DONE.
Author ChckDlta Posted May 21, 2013 Author Posted May 21, 2013 Oh, I am cold and hard un-true every day to him. Then I come home and cry.
aisuru Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 I understand. I do. But you gotta lie to him to make him knock it off. 1
BustedUpInside Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 You're sure you can't make some sort of lateral transition to another office or something. I know you don't want to lose your career momentum, but it seems like a really toxic situation for you to be able to heal yourself. 1
Author ChckDlta Posted May 21, 2013 Author Posted May 21, 2013 Nope. No other department. No change in position. Without an over explanitory explanation of where I work-- and wouldn't that defeat the whole point of a screen name?-- no there is no out for me but quit or fired. Just trust me here. I am the only one at my job who does what I do and he reports directly to me. And whether he lays off on the comments or not, whether he even acknowledges my presence or not, it still makes me sad and nauseous and sick to my stomach- not to mention red hot angry. Every time he walks in my office. (Which he is forced to do regularly.) And it makes me powerless to control my healing as you put it. I know it's my fault. Who gets involved with someone they have to see that much?!
cdt76 Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 I worked with a buddy who decided to cheat with my ex. Once I found out, I never spoke another word to him and that was 4 years ago. You can do it.
BustedUpInside Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 I know it's my fault. Who gets involved with someone they have to see that much?! Don't beat yourself up too much. Most adults meet potential mates at the work place. That is where people spend the majority of their day and it is easy to see how a person is and test compatibility when working on projects together. It really is too bad that you have to deal with this on a daily basis though. I am so sorry that you have to go through this. Is there any way that you can sort of make a middle man. Like his questions go through an intermediary before reaching you?
avelonia2013 Posted May 22, 2013 Posted May 22, 2013 This is worse than Groundhog day! Doing the same feel strong/setback, feel strong/setback cycle over and over and over. Working with the ex makes NC impossible... and though he has honored his promise to not keep wasting my time with "please forgive me"s, every point of contact he sees as an open door. A chance to say he misses me. Or loves me still. Or ask how my day or night or weekend went. Picture me giving a straight answer to that: "My day? I woke up and thought about you, thought about you and her, thought about what a screw up you are, thought about what we will never be, then got out of bed. Went to work, cried in the bathroom when you walked in and now here we are." Every day I start over hoping that I can get through a day without having to talk to or see him or look him directly in the eye. never happens. Feel I am going to be stuck here in this cycle 'til they fire him...and that day ain't coming any time soon. I know there isn't really a good solution to this. I just needed to vent and be here and read others posts. And vent. I know 3 weeks is not a long time to give yourself to be over something, but this feeling is new to me and I'm struggling. He has affected the un-affectable (until now). I hate the lack of control over my own emotions. I understand completely how you feel! Why do people do that to others? It's like they are trying to win tickets on the back of your pain. Hope the show is a real "killer". I'm tired of trying to figure it all out...it's too distracting. The best thing you can do is try to ignore - as hard as that is - and focus on your own life. That's what I'm going to do now. You have to deal with the emotions as they come and keep moving forward through them. I hope everything works out for you eventually. I know it's hard, but we will ALL get through it. Right?
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