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The day has arrived - ex contacting me all day about giving him another chance

mammasita

By mammasita
in Second Chances

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mammasita Established Member

mammasita

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In short, after the first text I posted this morning, he continued to text me saying he ****ed up and wants to try again.

 

I know, I probably shouldn't have responded, but I did. I'm at a point where I still don't feel like i can see him or hear his voice, but the texting hasn't phased me.

 

Anyway, to make a long story short......I asked him to leave me alone.

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EnTT Member

EnTT

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Good for you. If you don't mind me asking, how long has it been? Did you go NC? Nice avatar btw lol

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mammasita Established Member

mammasita

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Good for you. If you don't mind me asking, how long has it been? Did you go NC? Nice avatar btw lol

 

Yes I did NC. Last time I saw or spoke to him was January 29th. So it hasn't been TOO long, but during this time, I've read a few books, went out with a few different guys (no sex lol) and worked on moving on.

Leigh 87 Established Member

Leigh 87

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WOW man, I so wish my ex would come crawling back some day hahaaa lucky you.

 

I know I Know bad Leigh 87.. NC is supposed to be for healing and I am supposed to lose the urge to WANT him to come back.

 

But wow, so what did he say in the texts?

 

How long ago and WHY did he leave?

 

Do you or did you love him enough for a second chance?

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mammasita Established Member

mammasita

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WOW man, I so wish my ex would come crawling back some day hahaaa lucky you.

 

I know I Know bad Leigh 87.. NC is supposed to be for healing and I am supposed to lose the urge to WANT him to come back.

 

But wow, so what did he say in the texts?

 

How long ago and WHY did he leave?

 

Do you or did you love him enough for a second chance?

 

He's been saying that he misses little things and the family life he had with my son and I. He misses our time together, road trips, movies.....etc. basically reminiscing. He said he realizes now that he loves me, always has and that the grass isn't greener.

 

Things started getting rocky back in October when I joined this site. We were together for just under 2 years. Living together. He had proposed to me may of last year and we set a date to get married this October. He ended up moving out but wanted to continue to date. We did the dating thing until jan when he decided that we should just be friends. I said eff that and cut contact on the 29th.

 

I loved him alot and would have done anything for him when we were together....and I did. Right now though, I can't trust him with my heart. I'm surprised at how strong I'm being about this actually. Yes, I'm lonely. yes, i miss him.....but he hasn't changed one thing about him nor has he done anything to better his situation (bills, partying etc). So I wont give him another chance right now.

 

I feel like if its meant to be, he will try again when he has his **** together. For now though, I don't want to be with him.

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mammasita Established Member

mammasita

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And quite honestly, I don't believe he is sincere. I'm friends with his sisters and I know he's struggling money wise and with his living situation. Not to brag (lol) but I have my **** together (house, car, great paying job) and he knows this. I think he's trying to reach out so that he can slither into a comfortable and stable situation again.

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burningashes Established Member

burningashes

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Yeah, no, he's got to do better than that. Good for you! Keep an eye out for guys who can stand on their own two feet :)

Leigh 87 Established Member

Leigh 87

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I am really impressed with you. Man, I would probably crumble and be like * cries* really you still love me?

 

hahah wowwww ugh well stupid leigh 87 here seams to get her hopes up whenever someone else mentions a story just like this.. ohhhh I cannot WAIT until I get to the stage where I just DON'T CARE!

 

And LOL well at least you have your ****e together, good for you!! Haha I am at college with years to go that will lead to my DREAM career yet is only AVERAGE in the salary department, I live at home in a nice flat that is my parents LOL although they do not live in it as they are overseas..

 

Oh well at least I won't have the problem of having an ex come back cos he needs money or anything hahaah seeing as I have none!

 

I mean it must be crushing to think that hmmm well he is only coming back because you have your ****e together and he loves his life with you.

 

At he same time as being flattered by it, I am sure you do wonder if he is coming back because he is head over heals crazily in love with you OR he just loves his life with you and misses the way things were?

 

Not to say he was never madly in love with you lol, but you alluded to him coming back and not being 100% sincere, which comes off as he LOVES you, but you know, maybe not enough and he is back for the family life?

 

What do you think?

 

I mean, your a smart women who sounds really cool to be around, so your obviously not going to accept anything less than a guy who is totally crazy about you and really in love with you.

 

Those are just my thoughts on it....

 

If my ex came back, it would have to be because he cannot get ME out of his head for who I am, rather than the fact he misses "what" we had more than he misses ME, the person, if that makes sense....

 

To be honest, I think most exes who were in a live in situation with you and were seemingly in love and relatively happy with you most of the time; I think unless they find a girl who really knocks their socks off, that they tend to hold onto the past...

 

My ex is like that; he tends to hold onto his love and feelings for a girl he is really into, until he falls for another girl...

 

Maybe you should give him time to see if this is the case with him?

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mammasita Established Member

mammasita

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Not to say he was never madly in love with you lol, but you alluded to him coming back and not being 100% sincere, which comes off as he LOVES you, but you know, maybe not enough and he is back for the family life?

 

What do you think?

That's definitely it. When he left he played the "I Love you, but Im not in love with you" card.

 

Maybe you should give him time to see if this is the case with him?

Im not sitting around waiting for him, but if its meant to be he'll find me again.

Leigh 87 Established Member

Leigh 87

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You know, it really amazes me how many people settle for people they are NOT madly IN love with!!!!!!!!

 

Just for the sake of having someone around.

 

I mean, I understand being lonely if you take years to find the right partner.

 

I am SO glad you are intelligent enough to see this for what it truly is.

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