Broke up with my current girl and I want my ex

[Bunso]

So my ex left me about 18 months ago or so and I made all the mistakes by begging and pleading and obviously hurting my chances of winning her back. She had been hanging out with a new guy as he was her relatives friend and ultimately ending up with him about a month or two after our break up.

 

I was outraged by this especially since she agreed to tell me once she started dating and she didnt tell me until a month after so I was being strung along. Before all this happened I made her a scrapbook and wrote a love letter thinking there was still a chance for reconciliation. I went to her house and tried talking to her and I expressed how I truly felt. I told her I would never give up on US but looking back... That was a huge mistake. We kept limited contact and I asked her if I can take her to dinner for her birthday just as friends, she said she would think about it and said no the next day. So I didn't text her. Two days later she asked how I was, when I replied she started saying less and less.

 

That's when I decided to start no contact. A have in after a month. I asked how she was doing and she asked who it was since it was a new phone number so I said it was me and never got a reply so I initiated no contact and I haven't contacted her in about 4 months but I ran in to her relative but I went out of my way to say hello. But it was simple. Just a hi and bye. Two days after that I was on Facebook and I like one of the pictures she posted on my wall while we were still together, then I deleted it. I deleted all the pictures she had of us on my wall and I wanted her to be aware which is why I liked it before I deleted it since we aren't Facebook friends either. Less than an hour later she blocked me, which could be because she doesn't want me contacting her at all or because I hurt her ego knowing that I didn't want to keep any memories.

 

I had a new girlfriend for two months but I wasn't treating her the way I know I can so i broke things off before things got worse. I still want my ex but she is still with her current bf. any suggestions? I'm doing no contact for myself but I still want her back and it's messing with my head especially since its finals week next week!

 

About 5 months after the break up I asked why she left and she said her feelings changed for me. When we first broke up she couldn't come up with a definitive answer. Idk if that helps. Just trying to be thorough.

 

Thanks ahead of time!

[RobShady]

You shouldn't have erased those Facebook pictures dude. Those are memories that made both of you who you are today. I'm sure she was insulted by that. Don't let her know that you still think about her. And, you've got to let her relationship with the new guy run its course, because if she's happy, let her be happy. If she's not, it will end, and that will be your chance. But try to move on in the mean time and everything will fall into place eventually.. I know bro.. I've been there.. It hurts a lot.

[Bunso]

That makes sense, I just wanted her to realize that time is running out. That I was truly moving on because I don't want to wait any longer. Not that I have been, but I have been hoping for another chance. Would everything I discussed affect whether or not she would even consider getting back together if they did break up? I mean, I deleted the pictures of us on Facebook and all. I'm sure that was a big statement. I also deleted her cousin who I don't even talk to from my friends list.

 

Thanks for the answer

[aisuru]

Why haven't you moved on from a BU that happened 18 months ago? I get having a little pang of regret or nostalgia when you bump into them or see something that reminds you of them. But you're trying to play manipulative games to make her see the light.

 

That's not really attractive so it's not going to work.

 

You know what's attractive? Somebody who is living their life and being the best they can be. And isn't pining over a gf that dumped them 18 months ago.

[Bunso]

Well I'm sure her being my first EVERYTHING has a huge influence as to why it's hard to move on. She was my first love and we were together for 4 years. I'm only 22 so I haven't had much experience in the relationship business.

[aisuru]

Well I'm sure her being my first EVERYTHING has a huge influence as to why it's hard to move on. She was my first love and we were together for 4 years. I'm only 22 so I haven't had much experience in the relationship business.

 

Fair enough.

 

Well, I guess you could always contact her, but do you think it would go well?

[Bunso]

No I don't think it would go well. If I called she probably wouldn't answer. If I sent her a text message probably wouldn't reply. I haven't tried contacting her in 4 months though. So who knows.

[siankat]

Liking a photo and then deleting it is manipulative. That is probably why she blocked you as she realised 18months on your are not over her as your behavious is a little immature lets put it that way.

 

She doesn't seem to want you in any way shape or form in her life. You can pin your hopes on her all you like, there is one thing you can never fight for and that is someone's heart. You can be the best of you and that's it. They either take it or leave it. It's not a reflection of your self worth but more a compatibility issue from her side that she did not want to pursue and solve. You can attract other women and you will attract one that you want just as much. It doesn't necessarily happen as soon as you would like it, but it will

[Bunso]

Yeah I figured it wasn't the wisest choice to make. It was an impulsive move and it's obvious I'm not over her but I have become a better person. I wish I could show her that I'm not the same person she left. And of course it's hard to do when she has a bf who I guess she is happy with since its been over a year with him. And I should have just kept no contact going as I was doing fine but once I saw her relative my emotions came back. Things should get relatively easier since I'm moving an hour away over the summer but I wish we could have tried working on things before she jumped into another relationship.

[Bunso]

Also I'm very aware that it's her decision whether she wants to talk to me again but should I apologize for what I did or leave it as is. Or just delete my Facebook to refrain from making dumbass decisions until I'm ready to accept that it's really over.

[CelticGibson]

Anything you do will be tainted by the fact that you still care. This is a bad position to be in because it's likely to set you back when you open this particular can of worms. Do nothing until you reach indifference. No Contact and keep to it...

[siankat]

you make sound like you need to be straight jacketed not to be making silly decisions how about a little willpower...

And i didn't know you before but you don't sound very cool now so i dunno about this 'im a better person' bit because if you think you can 'make her' like you again, that thinking in itself is very indicative of a whole range of thought processes, none of which are very attractive.

 

Ok i've said my bit now, sorry if it was harsh but that is how i see it.

[Bunso]

Okay no contact it is. Seems like the only option I have to help me move forward.

 

Siankat, you're absolutely right. I need to sack up and be myself without being hindered of what she thinks or feels. She isn't my concern anymore and im not hers. I just gotta live life, the way I want to live it. Not how I THINK I should. Believe me when I say this ... I'm cool.

[aisuru]

Why would you delete your FB account all because of this one girl?

 

BLOCK her. Don't just unfriend her, block her. Then move on with your life.

 

You can let her back in if and when you don't react so emotionally to contact with her.

 

Trust us on this.

[Bunso]

Yeah that makes a lot of sense. Thank you guys so Much for the support. I needed this. The question becomes not if but when she tries coming back to my life whether I would even want her in it.